Work/Life in Japan in 2003: Corporate Implosion, New Friend and A Glimmer of Promise Part 2

As I look back and piece bits of my memory back from 2003, I know that year had a significant event that would cascade and effectively alter my career trajectory. My loneliness would continue though as I continued to search for love in all the wrong places but managed to make friends with someone who helped balance some of this out as I transitioned from the UNIX team to another team later in the year in order to avoid the political onslaught affecting the technology organization. I will backtrack a few times in cases where certain events occurred earlier in the year but I have to remind readers that these situations happened over 20 years ago and much of the time blends together for me.

Before deep diving into the other significant event that would alter my career trajectory, I want to talk about bonenkais and shinenkais. These are end of year and new year parties. One of the previous ones for 2002 saw a brief mention of the 2002 bonenkai. But I don’t think I talked about one of the UNIX teams shinenkais. In that situation, I do know it was the only one we had because in 2004, I would have transferred to a different team while my boss, Joe, had left the company by then. I want to say that our new years’ party happened sometime in January at the earliest as the company was slowly re-awakening after being shutdown for the typical late December to early January Japanese style holiday tradition. But I do distinctly recall the location of Aoyama’s Barbacoa.

Barbacoa is a Churrasco spot where servers walk around the tables and serve slabs of roasted/grilled meats. One of the guys in our, Alberto, is Brazilian and he may have been the one to suggest the spot. After all, who can deny a meat buffet with an all-you-can-drink menu by our favorite nerd party animal? At the time, the meal typically would cost 5000-en with an additional amount for the drink menu. I believe you get 1-2 hours where you can start off at the salad bar and get appetizers as the servers start coming around to the tables. You get a chip that you can pause the service at any time (e.g. restroom, you’re just flat out full). I won’t go into the meat selection as the link shows the various types but I will say that the quality is high at least when I went.

My lead was a vegetarian because he and his girlfriend (later wife) decided to change their diet after the mad cow scare. So his selection was more limited but at least we didn’t have to pay. My French bud Thierry sat a few seats down next to Shibata-san, who was a tall Japanese contractor, who could get “friendly” at times. Also, there was Michael, a goth guy we picked up later in 2002 along my row. Anyway, the wine kept flowing along with the beer and at some point, I knew I must’ve went beyond my typical fill because I had turned into a very bright red. Then at some point, Thierry started calling for my name as Shibata-san was hugging him and telling him, “I love you Thierry!” for which Thierry yelled to me, “Keith, change seats please!” I just said, “No way!” as Michael and I laughed heartily at this display of inebriated affection.

Now, you could get harder liquor but you had to cover that yourself since it wasn’t on the main all-you-can-drink part of the menu. Vitaly, who was our resident Russian tape backup specialist and a black belt in Judo, apparently got really drunk that night. Now, if you know anything about Russians and Ukrainians, you’d realize that hard liquor is part of their lives. So seeing Vitaly speaking in broken English and just laughing drunk was one of those rare moments, indeed.

Afterwards, the group started to split up with some people (like Joe) going home. However, Alberto and Mauro decided to hit up a karaoke spot (why not?) and a few of us, including Michael, my lead (Urs) and myself naturally decided to tag along. We might’ve had some people from the BTO admin side with us like one of the women. But we ended up at a spot in Aoyama not too far down for karaoke. Now, I can’t sing without committing genocide and I was horribly drunk so I was just around for the ride. The room wasn’t very big and they started figuring out what to play. At one time, Mauro decides to do La Bamba. Now, Mauro was one of the guys in the DC, an Argentinian who was fairly tall and bulky, young, spirited, very smart and incredibly enthusiastic about Linux (which later landed him jobs at Amazon and Google). But I will say this about him: he did a goddamn great rendition of La Bamba. As the song picked up, some random oyaji salariman enters our booth and starts joining him. None of us protest and just watch as the two perform a duet of La Bamba. I’m sure Michael and I were laughing really hard at the scene just thinking WTF is this. Once the song finished, the guy waved goodbye and we kinda threw him out (but not rudely). This is Japan as they say.

Now, that I think about it, 2003 would be the first time I experienced a full year of seasons out in Japan. Before, I would go briefly and come back mostly around late fall/early winter or spring. Even in 2002, I wasn’t there for the entire duration. In 2003, I got the opportunity to experience Japan/Tokyo’s seasons in an uncompromising manner. Maybe the first thing I would say is that it gets fucking cold out there. I know there’s people who live in colder regions (heck we had Russians and one guy might’ve been from Siberia). But for an LA/SoCal boy who had been mostly used to shorts/t-shirt weather, the winter was brutal. We didn’t get snow that often but you knew when a snow storm was about to hit because the air would get so frigid, you’d feel it piercing your clothes. And you had to wear a good coat, mittens and scarf to cover your face/ears from the biting winds. I already pointed out how I nearly froze my hand off climbing the stairs up to Akasaka Park Building one day.

Also, I mentioned that my apartment was freezing too because of the poor insulation. Three of the rooms had heater/AC units that were awful to use. They weren’t standard and probably installed at different times because they were all different. But one problem about using these is the bad, moldy air they’d blow in. During the summer, I used to get sick for using the AC. I forget the Japanese word but effectively it’s like going to Vegas and staying in a hotel where the AC is blowing all the time. Your throat gets dry and you end up developing a very bad sore throat for days, maybe weeks. I think part of that is due to the unit not being cleaned and that the air quality in Tokyo is bad with all the cars and especially the smoking.

Some people ask me when are the best times to travel to Japan. To me the absolute peak season has to be during the Cherry Blossoms (hanami). The weather is still cold but not overbearing and the air is quite fragrant. But seeing the cherry blossoms in full bloom is a thing of wonder. A friend of mine, who is well versed in Japanese culture, mentioned that the tradition of drinking under the cherry blossoms was done by writers/poets because of the inspiration the scenery would bring. Sadly, that part of the culture has been lost to a sheer hedonistic version but you can certainly see interesting things just hanging out in parks and witnessing people get drunk and do silly things.

Others mention Golden Week, which is more for the Japanese than foreigners as people generally return home or go on vacation during this period. Only for one job did I have not have to work and could experience a proper Golden Week. But I think by that point I was pretty tired and had other things in mind. Between Golden Week and the summer, you have a small season called the rainy season, which occurs sometime in June. By this point, the weather hasn’t completely warmed up but you can experience light drizzles which get annoying.

Summers though are terrible. I think if you combine the business work culture in Japan with the summers in a city like Tokyo, you’ll find the experience horrid because you’re on a train, dressed in pants and maybe a suit while stuffed inside with other people while an AC blows in your face. Once you get off, you’re back in the humid heat and this situation bounces back and forth until you arrive at your destination. Even in just shorts and t-shirt, the summers cause your clothes to stick to you and the trains end up smelling of funk from the dampness of attire.

Fall isn’t bad but it depends on when you arrive. There is a small period where you can experience typhoons, for which I lost a few electronic devices and had free showers outside. In a city like Tokyo though, typhoons nullify having an umbrella because the winds are so strong and the rain hits your horizontally such that your umbrella either breaks or does not provide enough protection. I will say that once fall truly hits, Japan becomes quite beautiful almost like the cherry blossom season because of the leaves falling and changing color. Also, as winter approaches, you’ll see more decorations and the winter fashion for women comes out, which is really nice.

Weather aside, things at the bank were about to get rough. There was an incident that the FSA would come down hard on the company that year for. I remember how the actual executives from the head company came down to handle the matter because of the level of severity. Several auditors showed up and we were instructed not to talk to any of them or redirect them to our internal audit staff. At the end of the day though, these people managed to find what they were looking for, which caused a major stir that shut down part of our trading for each infraction (the issue was that two traders were doing after market trades on a Taiwanese semi conductor company that the business approved of; the other trader was in Singapore and arrested while this guy was removed and his whole team dismantled). That caused about 70% of loss in sales which trickled down into everyone’s bonuses for that year.

However, in one of the more devious corporate maneuvers I had seen, the HR director devised a plan to reincorporate the company onto Japan soil (it was one of those Cayman Island companies), which was a good and bad thing. The problem in the rebranding was that everyone’s contract would be re-evaluated so you either signed with whatever they gave you or you got nothing. For long standing employees, this was a massive blow because it nullified their tenure. Some people who were being overpaid got massive pay cuts. I think for myself I simply didn’t make that much so nothing changed except how I wouldn’t receive a bonus later on.

In turn, a lot of people bailed and we ended up getting a bad reputation for a period where rival companies became suspicious and knew what happened. It was effectively a toxic situation and being so low on the totem pole, my value was almost nil. I did try to search for a new job but found it very difficult in this period especially as I tried to stay in the same domain. Without the domain knowledge though and being specialized, I really had little to no value apparently.

I remember one night a bunch of us ended up going to the local Hobgoblin pub in Akasaka. Then one guy walked in where my boss pointed him out and said, “That guy is Jason Bajaj. He either is the reason I received a bonus last year or won’t get one this year.” From what I know he eventually exited and created his own hedge fund. But the wording my boss used was quite profound and stuck with me.

With sales plummeting and everyone panicking, various reorganizations took place. My boss got pushed aside by one of the most political muthafuckas I’ve encountered at a company and absorbed my team. I was moved to the fixed income group and my main role was changed to become a pure SA. It wasn’t what I was comfortable with which made things tough and I took a lot of heat for certain aspects of the job by my new lead, who was under a great deal of pressure and didn’t apparently like me in the end.

One time the new boss took us out to Roppongi after we got absorbed. There was some dinner beforehand but the group split up. Somehow we ended up at a strip bar with foreign women. I met a very cute East European girl, whom in retrospect I wish I did better in terms of retaining contact. But the place was horribly expensive and we ended up paying for ourselves. I think the service ended up being something like $300. The girl at one point took me in the back to give me a lap dance but I was really nervous and embarrassed. She also made me convince her tush, which I wasn’t comfortable doing (yeah, I know…). I guess she thought my shyness was cute because she told the other women about it but I’ve really been an alpha male type and become socially awkward around people like this. Also, my coworker Alberto was game, which kinda shocked me but then again did not.

The real problem was that money was going to get really tight for me since I still was dealing with various debt and my apartment was killing me in more ways than one. So at one point, I decided to move. Because I started to hate the Yamanote (uptown) zone because it was too crowded, modern and full of foreigners (besides myself). I had started missing the Shitamachi areas like Minowa and began investigating places further south. That would eventually come in handy because of how a huge part of the tech division would be moving but I didn’t know it at the time.

This is when I started exploring on foot areas like Nippori, Iriya and Minowa since there was a completely different vibe compared to the modern Shibuya, Shinjuku and Akasaka zones. Somehow I stumbled upon the Kitasenju station and started checking out that zone along with a few other spots along the Chiyoda-sen route like Ayase. Ayase though was a little too far and seemed to have less things surrounding the area. But Kitasenju was lively and more of a small suburb with good shopping and a few restaurants. The station itself was connected to the Lumine department store, which I think had a small international market. Since my spot over in Harajuku didn’t have a lot of markets near me, I knew I needed something more accessible since I would go out to eat most of the time and/or bring home bento, which got tiresome.

Eventually, I came across a nice little spot that was much smaller than my spot in Harajuku by the Ushida station. This spot would remain my living quarters until I left Tokyo that time around. Initially, I thought the move was going to save my remaining sanity as Meijidori had almost stripped every sane neuron I had. Instead, my apartment was positioned right next to the Keisei-sen. Even at the 5th floor, the apartment shook whenever the express lines passed through. The only saving grace was that they would finish just before 1am and start up about 5am. So I had 4 hours of peace, which was a hell of a lot more than in Harajuku.

Yet what I was about to encounter was one of the worst experiences in my life. Getting to work meant I needed to use the Chiyoda-sen. At first, I’d take one of the local lines to get to Kitasenju to transfer (it was using one of the Hibiya-sen lines that would go into Saitama) That line could be murder depending on when I got on. But the Chiyoda-sen itself was rough because you’d get to the platform and if you’re lucky, you’d receive the train that would start from Ayase. If you were unlucky, you’d get the one from Chiba, which was packed. After you boarded, the train might wait a minute or two longer for other trains to disembark so their passengers could get onto this train. Then came the pushers.

If you’ve never experienced a morning in Tokyo with the pushers, you are joyously lucky. These people’s jobs is to squish as many people as they can inside of the train. You could be directly at the door and these pushers would shove another 10-20 people inside. Occasionally, you’d get the wind knocked out of you or worse yet have someone else’s wind blown in your face. In the winters, it would be awful because the heater would blast at you and the summers would be the opposite. Some trains didn’t even have the handrails so you’d stand up parallel towards the door. Then as the train stops, everyone would almost fall like dominoes in one direction with only their mass providing any sense of protection from falling flat on your face. Once in a while, I would be directly against the door where my window was getting smushed against the glass. Just imagine how COVID must’ve been!

To say this didn’t add to my already peak stress levels from work is an understatement. My new manager came up and accused me of coming in late because of the change in location. And there’s little you can really do because you’re just exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally all the time.

The area around Ushida itself was more family oriented too. Mostly large apartment buildings with a wide road next to me and the stations across the street. For food, I mostly ate at McDonalds next to the station, the Family Mart or the Jonathon’s and Denny’s. Apparently, the McDonalds and Family Mart are still around as is the old apartment building. Moving though was going to be a pain because I had to break the lease, owe the reikin and deal with new reikin/shikin, which meant more debt to the company.

Once I was out in Ushida, some parts of my life improved. I did enjoy the area itself much better because it didn’t feel so damn crowded all the time. Also, the zone around the station was really cool with little restaurants you could discover as well as the main street with all the stores. It did make getting into the popular areas of Tokyo a little more time consuming but I could do things like hit up Akihabara on the way home periodically.

Socially, I was still able to meet people but going to Com Inn would be tougher and I’d have to really consider staying out late because of the distance. The thing with Kitasenju is that it’s across the river which made crossing harder on foot. There is a bridge though that wasn’t far off from me I could’ve used but we didn’t have Google Maps at that point nor good mobile devices that would’ve made traveling on foot in Japan so much easier.

My friend Sugi-san did invite me to at least one Gokon, which was cool because we ate over at a canenabe spot (crab nabe). That was really good and it must’ve been in the winter. Unfortunately, I ended up with nothing that night again. Another friend at work tried to set me up with her friend but I had almost no interest in the friend and had more interest in my coworker. After dinner, she accompanied me to my apartment in Harajuku because we met up at a restaurant in Aoyama. My friend ended up being quite drunk and I think I could’ve gotten somewhere if I were more of an aggressive type. Story of my life.

Nonetheless, the shadier side of my life would peak when I would hang out with Sugi-san. One time, he invited me out to Kabuki-cho with his friend. This might’ve been one of the darndest times of my life because I really saw a bunch of shit I probably shouldn’t have seen. But I remember hanging out near the theater area where you have various people coming up to you advertising their shops. Sugi-san talked to a ponbiki (pimp), who appeared as some nerdy guy with glasses in a black suit. I think he was trying to figure out places we could go to. Suddenly, a large Nigerian approached us and was about to harass us when the ponbiki flashed a pink or yellow piece of paper which caused the Nigerian to do a 180. It made me realize just who was in control of the area. I didn’t say anything but I think Sugi-san might’ve acquired a coupon or determined where we could go.

In turn, we walked around the crowded zone and made our way to what was known as a “kissing pub”. I had no idea what to expect and just followed him and his friend inside. This spot had to easily have been the wildest place I’ve ever been to in my life. You enter this large room where a bright, shimmering disco ball flashes above you while high pitched anime type of music is blasting your ear drums off. Rows of benches are setup with a small tray table where various Japanese men are sitting with a drink waiting around. You’re given a spot that I believe is numbered and may be asked about your drink preference. Some guys get beer but I think they generally give out water (mizuwari) to mix with some alcohol.

As this is going on, there’s a guy at the front with a microphone calling out names over the PA system while these girls in skimpy evening gowns are rotated in and out to come and sit on the patrons’ laps. Of course, these girls all have aliases (fake names) and you can chat briefly with them. But the main thing is that you can kiss them and somewhat feel them up. There are limits to where you can feel them but it’s one of those situations that’s just so mind blowing especially for a shy guy with limited Japanese that I had no idea what to do. But you effectively get one girl for 10 minutes over a 40 minute period, which comes out to 4 girls per round. We stayed for 80 minutes so you can do the math (and we did return one more time later that year).

Most of the girls are friendly and were curious about me because I was an obvious foreigner (well as obvious as it could be). One girl was really bitchy to me and I believe she just wanted to get everything over with or didn’t care for talking. Another girl smelled downright rotten; like either some guy rubbed his armpits over her or she needed to bathe badly. You can’t forget that around this time was the rise of the ganguro/yamamba. But holy god was that awful and made me rethink my impression of women.

Of course, I was mind blown and addicted but Sugi-san wanted to go elsewhere. Now, I could be wrong but it was either on this occasion or the 2nd time we went to one of those places where we hit up this Chinese hostess bar and Sugi-san gained a look of concern because he didn’t recognize the place. Someone popped his head out the door and Sugi-san talked for a bit, learning that the previous tenant had been shot up by the mafia (yes, THEM), along with the customers and girls too, which is why the place had changed. I was pretty horrified because I didn’t hear about any of this on the news but it kinda goes to show how the underground world would be swept clean of these incidents (and there were a lot that didn’t make it)

As we were walking around a bit stunned, we encountered some guy lying face first on the ground. Numerous flies were buzzing over his head and I didn’t know what we should do. Sugi-san turned to me and started laughing telling me, “Hey, he’s one of the guys that got shot.” I was like, “That ain’t funny man.” I never found out the condition of that guy because he could’ve been some homeless person or just another drunk that partied too hard (and I saw a lot of those types out there).

I do remember that on that particular night we managed to hit up a hostess club so I think the previous story was probably the 2nd time we were out there. This other hostess club was Japanese and the one girl who sat with me was really cute but drunk and horribly annoying. She had this high pitched voice and wore a kimono but kept making some loud noise and laughed a lot. By that point, I was so drunk and tired I probably didn’t care.

I don’t remember what else we did that night because we couldn’t easily go home as the trains were shut down. Most people might end up hanging out at a McDonalds (which was 24/7) or some other 24/7 cafe. I know along the street outside of Kabuki-cho there was a coffee shop type of spot that you could get curry or noodles so I might’ve had curry to calm my stomach. But what a night.

The thing is that despite going to these types of places my heart was unsatisfied. I was striking out a lot with all the women I wanted to date. I remember one night when I got drunk I started cussing up a storm which scared some girls off. But it made me realize that drinking by myself wasn’t a good idea since I think it pushed a lot of negative subconscious thoughts to the forefront. Hence forth, I almost never ever drank alone again that I could recall.

At work, things were very stressful as I was frequently given tasks that were meant to push me out or make me look bad. So I started shopping internally for a move. I spoke with a few groups but almost all of them dissuaded me from joining. I did meet someone else who was running an ecommerce site for movies over in Shibuya. We would hang out on occasion and I wanted to work on his stuff but he just had no money to pay me. But we stayed friends while I was out there and I’d come by to visit and have a meal. When he got drunk though, it could be frustrating like one time he told me something that hurt my feelings since I was very alone and had high hopes and dreams while living out there. But it just made me feel even more inadequate since I was getting to the point of feeling hopeless and that my identity as a 5th generation Japanese American meant I couldn’t connect to anyone.

At work, my original boss eventually decided to quit. He had been moved to a room where he was assigned a dead project on purpose. Usually, in Japanese companies, there’s this thing where a company might try to send a person to some isolated spot as a way to embarrass that person and more importantly to get them to quit to avoid dealing with unemployment since firing has consequences. My boss one day called me up and started telling me, “Little Bo-Peep lost her sheep.” I didn’t want to be a fucker but I knew he was mentally gone. The guy put in incredible hours at the place and built a very sturdy team up. So it was clear he was heartbroken. I felt bad but he was a really smart fellow, saved his money, knew a bunch of people and had some patents to start a new business up. I guess things would work out especially because his wife just had a kid.

But it meant things at work were going to continue to increase in pressure without having the various shields I was provided before. Luckily, I got transferred to a new team for Access Control (or as the Australian guy would call us, “Asshole Control”). Well, I don’t know if luck really is the appropriate word but it did buy me time and some breathing room. Maybe one of the benefits was a new hire who just graduated named Soy. I think he was a little younger than me and less experienced for sure. So I was kind of the senpai to him at least in terms of the tech side.

Soy was a lot of fun and pretty much gave me new life since I was in bad need of new friends. He lived further down on the Hibiya-sen from me at the time but was on a strict budget because new hires simply didn’t make much. But we hung outside quite a bit whenever he took a smoke break or occasionally we’d grab dinner together and a drink. His girlfriend was a bit possessive so getting him away from her (or even with her) could be challenging just to go out. Since my favorite story of Soy didn’t happen until the following year, I’ll save that for a 2004 post. But let’s just say this guy had some interesting luck.

Sometime in the fall though was probably my most impulsive but deeply satisfying Japan experiences ever. As Kita-senju was close to the Asakusa station, I got up really early one morning and decided to hop on over to the Asakusa station. For whatever reason, I got on the Tobu-sen to Nikko. I think I might’ve done some research about Nikko beforehand as a place that was famous for its temples (especially the three monkeys of see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil) I believe my parents may have visited that spot in the late 60s or early 70s in their one trip to Japan.

But getting out towards Nikko was such a relieving experience because of how you simply can get away from the city life and into this mountainous, natural region. Like all of the pressure from the city that would give me constant anxiety and headaches simply disappeared the further I moved away from Tokyo and approached Nikko. From Asakusa station, Nikko is roughly two hours. I think I might’ve gotten on the wrong train and needed to track back a little so my overall time was a bit longer than I had wanted.

Once I arrived, I pretty much fell in love with this spot. There’s a little town that mostly is about tourism. I found one spot for tourist to get more information and located a hotel to stay since I knew I probably wouldn’t be able to get back to Tokyo easily. From there I did the temple tour which was a wonderful excursion with a LOT of steps. But you get to see more of a traditional Japan with the pagodas and shrines. Outside of the monkeys themselves, I really had no context of the spot, which is sad because the area was lovely. The trek was vigorous but at that point in time, my cardio had become excellent from walking in Tokyo so much. Only the stairs would inconvenience me and provide a challenge.

I think the overall voyage took two hours or so to get through. By the time I was done, the sun started to set and I needed to get back to the town to find some food and rest for the night. In addition to the temple walk, there was a botanical garden I went through but truthfully that really wasn’t my thing. I might’ve spent an hour there at most to procrastinate returning to the loud and boisterous Tokyo. But at least for that two days, I felt spiritually, physically and mentally relieved.

Much of the rest of the year ended up blurry. But towards the end, I met a woman who I eventually asked out. I won’t reveal her name because in truth I think she was bad luck. But what happened was that I had continued to go to Com Inn and met someone who I was having dinner with on occasion and helping out with her English. She was a hakken worker (temp job) so her life wasn’t really stable. I think at the time she was 6 years older than me but that was fine because I liked older women (still do). Also, I tried to help her get a job at my company on my team but my lead didn’t care for her. I think it devastated her but we ended up going to Ginza one night and I asked her out. She took a moment to consider but said yes. I was so happy in the moment because she became my first real girlfriend ever and I was on top of the world.

I wish I had been less naive. That little pause should’ve told me everything about how she really felt about me (either that or she was really stupid). But I did feel very used by the end of the relationship. Yet when you’re young, dumb, desperate, inexperienced and heart broken, you’ll seek any form of justification for a sign of hope. At least, the first few months ended up being fun because the experience was novel. Eventually, she would partly move in with me, despite having her own place in Chiba. But it was both nice having someone around and at the same time grating because I was used to being alone.

As the year continued to wind down, work was hectic with the office slowly closing down. There still needed to be people to support the business and I wasn’t savvy enough to take my vacation. In turn, my group got chosen to do a bunch of busy work putting stamps on a large number of packages. And later on during the “break”, Soy and I were handled various oncall duties at the office. The previous lead from my last group sent me a horribly pissed off VP from Fixed Income who started yelling at me with, “It’s all your fault. Why should we have to fill out these forms?” I don’t remember how we ended up resolving the issue but later I learned that VP was an asshole and hated doing anything. But again as the lowest rung on the totem pole, I got to absorb the brunt of the blame.

Also, I will say that I still tried to go to a few joshi puroresu shows. By that point, my interest had severely died down and I was more focused on my Tokyo life, an aspect I never really had while living in America. But the shows weren’t very good anymore with smaller crowds. But if there was one at Korakuen Hall or Kitazawa Town Hall, I might show up to check it out. I started going to these ‘Jd Kitazawa Town Hall shows because these new Athresses like Yumi Ohka were starting. They didn’t last long and weren’t well trained. A few were really cool. One girl spoke good English so I spent a long time just chatting with her. Also, I would talk to Yumi quite a bit (who was the only person that continued to wrestle ironically). She was tall and cute but kinda like an ostrich. I did see Emi Tojo effectively end her career at one show where she was supposed to do something like a sunset flip power bomb type of move off the top turnbuckle but came crashing down on her neck and ended up with a severe stinger. That was really sad. She stayed around for some shows later on after healing up but her in ring career was dead. I did get to talk to her and she seemed cool and was cute. I read later on she got involved with some underground cat fighting type of promotion which is sad. But I have a feeling the “entertainment” side she was involved in wasn’t exactly mainstream. More like some of those seedy spots I’d hit up. Either way, incidents like that really discouraged me more and more in going as I felt horrible for these people.

I did mention the bonus situation: so there wasn’t any for me. Someone later told me that all the executives and management intentionally gave bad reviews to everyone to ensure only the upper people would be given bonuses. I had a stuffed Tigger that I had been carrying around nervously. Instead of my previous manager, I had that lead guy sit down with me in doing the annual review and he doc’d my mostly because I changed groups (he used other excuses but I knew what was going on). Since my father was having financial problems, I think a bonus that year would’ve really helped. So I ended up hating this guy for the rest of my life.

Eventually, there was a bonnenkai but the feeling was a general downer. The CEO admitted as much with the company facing immense hardships from that one incident. I think I hung out with my new group which helped a bit. The food was good of course and we once again held the event at the New Ohtani down the street. Afterward, there was another party over in Aoyama at some club someone rented out. A bunch of us clustered in a corner and one of my coworkers who was about to quit got really drunk. She kept going through this weird emotional back and forth all night where one minute she would cry and another she started laughing. I think she was having boyfriend issues and hated the job because the two other women in the group picked on her and gave her all the shitty work. At one point, she grabbed my arm and sunk her teeth REALLY hard into my shoulder. It hurt so badly that I started bleeding. I think COVID vaccines are far less painful than that bite that rat administered to me.

Gradually, the party wound down and a new crowd entered. I guess these people were hip because they looked at the rest of us who weren’t sales traders and executives as street garbage. One person had to get that drunk girl a taxi and when I showed her the teeth marks the next time I saw her she was really embarrassed and told me she didn’t remember a thing because she ended up throwing up the entire night.

But maybe that’s the way I end the 2003 period in the form of a literal painful memory that I completely had forgotten as well.