Bruce Lee Fights Back from the Grave (1976) Review
If I have a candidate for one of the worst movies ever made, Bruce Lee Fights Back from the Grave (1976) would be a top choice next to Megan is Missing and Manos: The Hands of Fate. For certain though, this could be considered the worst martial arts film I have ever witnessed and definitely the worst #Bruceploitation film in existence.
Part of this movie’s infamy is derived in how the film makers or distributors somehow thought it was a good idea to include Bruce Lee in the title and have him with some shoddy lightning effects occur as a blurry Bruce Lee impersonator pops up from a fake looking grave. The “jumpscare” type of leap barely is given a second of frame time before the title flashes on the screen. But it’s quite clear that whoever jumped out was no Bruce Lee and not even a Bruce Lee impersonator.
Yet as cheap of a gimmick as that intro was, nothing can prepare one for the absolute dreadfulness of this god awful picture. First, the picture quality itself is grainy and looks to have been film on someone’s home recorder. In turn, that cheap appearance makes the bulk of this film nearly indiscernible and at the same level as Manos: The Hands of Fate, despite that Manos was made 10 years before on a shoestring budget by a fertilizer salesman. And that’s merely the start of the issues here.
The people involved in this film are practically nobodies that accomplished nothing except Kosugi Sho, who might’ve been either desperate for a paycheck (or maybe even a free lunch at the soup kitchen) or in need of any kind of film credit to get into the business (this apparently was his 2nd listed film he was involved in as per IMDB). Otherwise, the best way to describe this cast is the “who’s that?” of the martial arts genre.
The lead himself is some goofball named Chong Jun, who plays Han Wook (Han Solo + Wookie???). This guy has the charisma of a pencil sharpener if the pencils were made duller after insertion. His character makes absolutely no sense in this film as he arrives in LA apparently and gets himself into a variety of trouble while bearing some poster of someone. Before that happens, apparently he trains in martial arts in South Korea (because of the flag on the back of a uniform) with someone else. Neither person are immediately identified and one guy complains about money.
Han shows up at some spot that lacks any detail but I presume it’s supposed to be where he delivers an urn of his friend/mentor’s ashes. Afterwards, he decides to get super drunk at a bar then into a fight with some random black guy. Then he’s apprehended by the police somehow and gets released by a benefactor. Thus far, we have no idea whom this guy is as his identity has yet to be formally revealed. But this is how the story goes as he just wanders around, has no money apparently (but enough to take a plane flight out to LA and enough to get a taxi) and ends up in random fights because why the hell not.
As he leaves the police station, a fancy car pulls up and he’s requested to get in. A woman (who really isn’t good looking but was probably the best the producers could find) sits in the back and takes Han to some guy’s home. One would assume this person is responsible for posting Han’s bail. The man asks a job for Han politely enough but Han flat out refuses merely because he didn’t like the way the man asked. I swear this Han guy is a real piece of work. The thing is that we don’t even know why anyone would want to deal with him. In this case, why would this gangster-like boss character bother with Han? Nothing is established about Han outside of him being a shitty martial artists and that he’s just wandering around with some stupid picture around his neck in LA. We’ve got some real competition to the illogical scenes in Manos right here.
The movie transitions to a random woman walking through a massive albeit completely dead parking lot. When she goes into her car, an assailant appears in the rear to try and assault her. She runs through this massive, population-less parking lot as this guy chases her. As opposed to screaming and running through the most open area, she zigzags through cars to try and escape this guy (take that Rickon fans who insisted that Rickon should zigzag!) Somehow, she manages to lose the guy and circle around back to her car. Of course, that guy is waiting back in her car and proceeds to rape her. Naturally, the only result is for our hero Han to rescue her.
They end up on some high tower that doesn’t look like anywhere in LA. The girl (Susan) gives him some diatribe about nothing being free in America. This miserable discourse turns to the image of the guy on the picture where Han asks what she knows about the guy. Apparently, this person was some wealthy business person who committed suicide. I guess he was so famous everyone in this country ought to have known about him because we all read the paper back then. Han thinks that there was no reason for the guy to commit suicide. As she’s about to reveal what she knows, a bizarre smoking figure appears in the distance. In what looked like a blooper, Han rans after the guy but knocks into his luggage. It’s hard to say if that was intended because this film is beyond rotten. But when he looks back up the guy is gone, leaving only a burnt out cigar. Afterwards, Susan takes Han to her cafe where she works as a waitress.
At the cafe, Susan gives the background story of the rich dead guy, despite the fact she’s dressed in her waitress uniform, taking a long break and giving Han free coffee. One of the more interesting parts here is that she worked at the Turkish bath part of the gymnasium, implying she was doing Soapland-like prostitution to pay for her college tuition. It’s at this point where I think the film makers were just filling things in as they went because there’s no reason why Han should have randomly shown up to find Susan in the parking lot. But by revealing her connection to this rich dead guy, the plot makes a tiny amount of sense, even though they never really try to explicitly connect why Han was searching for Susan in the first place. Also, the dialog in the coffee shop is worse than the “how’s your sex life?” part from The Room because at least The Room is funny and Greg Sestero isn’t a bad actor as opposed to the coma inducing lines being blandly read by the dubbers here. The only thing remotely humorous about this movie is completely accidental because of how bad it is.
At any rate, Han gets some information on the people involved in this weird conspiracy/murder/whatever you want to call this bullshit and decides to continue hunting them down, despite having no money, no connections and no real means to locate them. For absolutely no logical reason, Susan decides to follow him outside at the risk of her waitress job, which gets conveniently ignored and apparently allows unlimited PTO.
In turn, Susan takes him to her place, which I guess is rented from some people who not around. There was zero reason to add that detail because none of that would come into play, much like the “I got the test results back; I definitely have cancer” line from Lisa’s mother in The Room that went nowhere. Out of nowhere, Han wants to teach Susan martial arts but she wants even more coffee (how much fucking caffeine is she on anyway???) while he gets milk (for an Asian???? I guess lactose intolerance wasn’t a thing back then).
After having their little drinks, he proceeds to instruct her (rather poorly) in the martial un-arts. Of course, the choreography isn’t even close to the level of a Bruce Lee much less the lowest of the impersonators but she manages to knock this joker down. She tries to pay him for the lesson but he refuses and asks for a different type of payment where he leads her into the bedroom. Duh duh duh! Nope, no sex scene. Instead, he continues to make inquiries about the boring people he’s seeking and he denies staying inside with her, preferring to go on the streets.
Now, before I continue let me say that the first 8 minutes alone was a real slog to get to. I’m sure flying to the center of the galaxy with the Pinto Susan drives in this movie seem faster than the pace of this will sapping film. By the 30 minute mark (which is where I paused here), I had to stop because my brain felt as though Bruce Lee did, indeed, return from the dead and start punching my skull in. I took at least one nap during this film and I’m sure that within the nap, I took another nap from comatose-like levels of energy this thing produced.
The day after, Susan goes outside to find Han on her car. She accuses him of sleeping on the park bench and sadly nothing actually happened, meaning this chode actually slept outside like some homeless person. Oddly, his clothes are pristine and Susan does not once wince at this guy stinking since it’s clear he probably hadn’t showered since departing his home country.
Either way, Han requests that she take him to the Chinatown in LA. He gets into a minor fight with some random person standing outside a building that Han probably had never seen in his life. He goes to see the boss of this joint and gets taken inside after beating the pimp in broad daylight. Susan follows him despite seeing that Han is obviously a very violent person and that he’s involved in some sort of a strange racket.
An imperceptible encounter follows where you can’t see shit because they use some dark filter, transmogrifying the already grainy picture into crayon-like blurs. But in this encounter, Susan gets hurt and Han applies acupuncture to heal her. How, where and why he knows acupuncture is anyone’s guess but it’s one of his billion randomly provided skills in this movie that only shows up when it’s convenient.
Once Susan is healed, she wakes up and cries in Han’s arms. I mean, her acting is about on par with the mother’s from Manos: The Hands of Fate here; just wretched, overdramatic and the dubbing does her absolutely no favors in the most cringy dialog possible. But Susan effectively is shown as this whiny, willowy figure right after “learning” some martial arts. So what was the point of all that in the first place? Also, as they hold one another, that creepy smoking guy (Korean Cancer Man?) is outside observing without their knowledge.
When Susan is about to go back to her job (which one????), she gives Han some money, acknowledging the fact that he has nothing in America. Han takes the money and promises to pay her back. The first thing I shouted here was, “How??????” What’s this jackass going to do? Rob a bank? Work at a male strip club? Star in a gay pr0n movie? I mean, he’s got no skills outside of shitty martial arts so how does he ever expect to pay her back?
As she works, Han stands around and watches a parade. Later at night as she’s waiting to meet with Han, Susan gets ambushed by another random kidnapper. Korean Cancer Man appears smoking in the shadows which causes the kidnapper to pull out some chain whip weapon while Susan escapes. She meets Han again as he tells her that the car was towed. Like WTF is this shit? I honestly believe that the film makers were so stupid that this probably happened during the shoot. There really is no rhyme nor reason to why anything happens in this Godforsaken movie.
They end up at some car lot and meet Cal Worthington and his dog Spot with the “Pussy Cow Pussy Cow Pussy Cow” jingo. Okay, that didn’t happen but I wish it did because at least it would’ve picked up the pace for this abomination. They end up selecting a camper of all things to do their version of Breaking Bad before it debuts 50+ years later. Okay, maybe not exactly like that but we’ll see that drugs are involved in this movie (probably not just as part of the plot) When they go back home, they hallucinate (actually not from drugs) that some person is inside and Han attacks nothing. Susan goes bad melodrama with him and they sleep on the floor.
Then a Japanese dude shows up. A confusing conversation occurs between Han and the Japanese dude (actually Kosugi Sho) and they fight. To be honest, Kosugi Sho’s fight is probably the only thing worth watching in this trainwreck. He uses a katana (how’d he get that there?) and some nunchucks type of weapons. Unfortunately, he jobs out to this Roomba charisma sucking, talentless shmuck. Anytime, Han goes on offense here it’s done with multiple takes and bad camera effects to make him look like he can do anything credible. Worse yet he makes insufferable Bruce Lee noises where you only could pray that Bruce Lee would suddenly manifest from the ground and beat the living fuck out this turdball for daring to be anything like him.
They go to the race track to search for someone I don’t care about because I’ve lost track of any details and Susan gets kidnapped yet again. You would think that by now Susan might take a hint and either fly to the opposite side of the country, detach himself from this loser and/or call the police. But I guess that’s why she has the lowly job of a waitress. I shouldn’t say that because we did get Sarah Conner, who had a similar disposition but ended up becoming a super bad ass leader of the freedom resistance against Skynet. It just goes to show in the hands of amateurs, some people in charge should really just be working in a diner rather than making films.
More fights continue along as Han seeks out Susan and rescues her. He goes to some gym where a big fat guy and him get into it. It sucks and just looks like a jobber match on some indy pro-wrestling show with no fans so I tune out. The tie the fat guy out and go to some remote, desert location. Their camper is parked there and Han runs to investigate it where some cowboy called Mark comes out with a rifle.
At this point, I’m screaming for this idiot to shoot Han. I’m really rooting for the bad guys to end this painful endeavor as I’m bored, frustrated beyond belief and wanting something different to occur. Instead, Han leaps in the sky and flies behind the fat guy, threatening to kill the fat guy if Mark does anything. So this is probably the only interesting twist in the story, if you want to call it that where Mark just shoots the blob dead. It’s so shocking even Han is surprised by this. And Susan melodramatically turns her head.
In the worst dubbing of a cowboy accent, Mark says something along the lines of “Now, hand over the drugs or I’ll kiuuuelll you.” It’s so bad I couldn’t stop laughing. Han and Mark have a little fight where Mark is aiming at both Han and Susan. The gun gets knocked out of his hands so they race to grab it. Mark picks up the gun and Han leaps to the sky again and deliver a shitty looking kick to the face but not in time to prevent Mark from pulling the trigger and killing Susan. Mark gets emotional over Susan’s demise then takes one of the cars in a road rage up the sand dunes where a bunch of drugs and money are buried. This ignorant putz taste the powder even though it’s pretty obvious it’s an illicit substance.
Suddenly, a guy in a trench coat appears. It’s none other than the man in the picture that Han was carrying around. Of course, he’s the ultimate bad guy in all of this and explains his machinations like every villain does, which still makes no sense to me because of how convoluted and bad this movie has been. That leads to the final boss fight where he actually beats the fuck out of Han. Han is nearly knocked unconscious and he’s about to pummel him with a stone but gets shot as Korean Cancer Man shows up in the nick of time along with the police. Han gets scared and hightails it as the surround the area. The black cop at the station gives the Korean Cancer Man a handshake and tell Han that he was under surveillance by the FBI the entire time. They offer him a medal but Han is too depressed over Susan’s death to accept.
But what a shit show. There is no doubt in my mind that this is the absolute bottom of the barrel when it comes to any martial arts film ever produced. Han doesn’t even look remotely like Bruce Lee and the plot has nothing to do with someone coming out of a grave beyond the few frames shot at the beginning of the movie. The only thing relevant with regards to the title about anyone fighting from death is the ultimate bad guy.
The plot itself is barely coherent and it almost seems as though things were being written on the fly. I’ve read how one review on IMDB described this as low budget, but I call this no budget. I’m certain that all of the LA shots were done gorilla style as there’s no way in hell the so-called production company could’ve afforded a permit. I mean if Chang Cheh and the Shaw Brothers couldn’t get one for Fu Sheng for The Chinatown Kid, what hope does this low class studio have?
One of the funnier things that came to me as I’m watching this is how the movie was filmed in LA (apparently) with a moderate sized non-Asian cast. Yet it was still dubbed. So I’m wondering how the actors without the dubbing would’ve sounded in the first place. A good chunk of the dialog makes The Room almost sound like Chaucer or Shakespeare while the “acting” was competitive to a play put on by kindergartners.
But watching this is more effective than taking propofol. The only way I was able to barrel through to the end was by putting on a few Mahjong games to demonstrate the sheer struggle to stay awake as this menace to society played on my side screen. The first time I made a major pause and saw that I was only 8 minutes in, I knew I would have an extended night ahead of me. By the 30 minute mark, I honestly thought about tapping out as the penultimate version of a sleeper hold had taken grasp of me (or perhaps this was more like a chokehold because I could barely breathe in between shouting and getting knocked unconscious).
Now, one would ask, why would you even bother attempting to put yourself through torture worse than waterboarding? The answer is quite simple: I have this masochistic need to endure the Bruceploitation genre. Most times, these Bruce Lee impersonator type of movies are at the least entertaining. Bruce Li, for instance, is someone I considered a worthy successor to Bruce Lee and made a few decent films that were very watchable while Dragon Lee is someone I would consider a guilty pleasure because he’s highly entertaining for his mannerisms.
With Bruce Lee Fights Back from the Grave, it’s more of the novelty of having said I’ve seen it to figure out where it belongs in the genre. It is one of those curiosities that exist because some jackass decided to cut in a few shots at the beginning then attaching Bruce Lee as part of the title to export this piece of garbage outside of Korea. Apparently, the alternate titles suggest a different movie where it’s also called Visitor of America. The problem is that the movie has no context for anything and it merely stumbles its way towards an ending. You don’t really get invested into the characters because they’re either bland, stupid or annoying (or all three). And the movie does a poor job of introducing people such as the main character whose name isn’t shown until 20 or so minutes in.
That all said, there’s absolutely zero reason to check out this movie outside of morbid curiosity. This movie has zero significance in the scheme of things but merely demonstrates how a bad movie can be exported using a few cheap tricks to make people think it has any relevance at all especially to Bruce Lee.
