This Dynamite came from Fertitta Center in Houston, Texas. Pretty hot crowd but I found the show very mixed in terms of the ups and downs. Too much schizoid nonsensical booking again but I’ll go into detail later towards the conclusion of the show for my overall thoughts.
Jon Moxley/Eddie Kingston Enter
This part made zero sense. Suddenly, the camera man was on them from the entrance and they came through into the arena for a nice pop. All of a sudden 2.0 and Daniel Garcia attack them out of nowhere. So already we have a schmoz but with no explanation of what Moxley and Kingston were going to the ring. They weren’t scheduled for a match.
In turn, 2.0 and Daniel Garcia challenge Sting and Darby Allin to come out. This was stupid because they mentioned they were going to face each other. So why have that pre-match bullshit?
Sting/Darby Allin vs 2.0
This was a “Texas Tornado Match” which meant nothing because it was a nothing brawl that sucked because they simply walked through the stands up into some empty area to do a spot or two. The only real spot was Sting getting a table power bomb which he no sold, beat his chest then double Scorpion Death Dropped 2.0. Somewhere along the way Kingston had come out to take Garcia out so that 2.0 could face Sting and Darby by themselves.
Sting eventually got a double Scorpion Death Lock on both 2.0. While the Sting was super over to this crowd, I thought everything about this match stunk. I get that Sting can’t go anymore compared to Surfer Sting but it’s hard to say what the purpose behind any of this was. It was just a giant mess that did nothing for anyone.
Sammy Guevara’s Announcement
So Sammy proposes to his girlfriend. All I could think of was the old horrible segment with Uncle Elmer. But at least Jesse Ventura and Roddy Piper were around to make that segment entertaining. Tully Blanchard and Shawn Spears made a few inappropriate remarks regarding Sammy’s future bride. But now I’m getting mad just because the amount of nonsense is making me boil.
Sammy Guevara Vs. Shawn Spears
People had raved about this match on the internet but I thought it was stupid. Shawn kicked out of some crazy offense for no reason as did Sammy. I suppose Shawn did the job so that Sammy would look like a hero to his fiance. Again, this was a nothing match that accomplished nothing outside of having meaningless spots that continue to make dangerous moves seem worthless.
Christian Cage Segment
Christian doesn’t even get to say a word before Don Callis shows up. Christian calls Callis a carny piece of shit and wrestling sinks ever lower into lameness.
Dante Promo
Dante addresses his loss and says he’s going to learn from his mistakes. Shouldn’t he have received a win to a midcarder to show that he’s an up and comer rather than lose to Omega and the Bucks last week? He basically got buried because he has talent and anyone that gets momentum in this company who aren’t part of the EVPs’ friends list either wrestles on Dark perpetually in meaningless squashes or gets squashed eventually by the EVPs.
Dan Lambert Segment
This is a return segment after Lance Archer took him out. Lambert throws the best promo I’ve seen thus far in AEW. This by far was the ONLY segment I liked on this whole show and ONLY for his promo because he wasn’t incorrect since he’s playing Jim Cornette.
Then Lance Archer comes in and gets assaulted by Ethan Page and Scorpio Sky. Why? Dan Lambert brought his own backup. So why would he want the weak, fake looking wrestlers to do his dirty work? If someone read my epic story of how I wanted REAL fighters to come in and embarrass all the AEW talent, then they severely misconstrued how to execute the whole thing. I have no idea where this is leading and unless they turn this into a realistic war, I just won’t care.
Jericho Promo
Jericho talks a lot but says nothing. I skipped out because I was making some great pot roast.
Young Bucks Vs. Jurassic Express
I honestly didn’t pay much attention to this match. I was probably eating dinner and already had lost interest because of seeing a clip from Reddit showing what I predicted: a squash by the Young Bucks over Jurassic Express. I don’t care for the Young Bucks, the Elite suck, I want them off of AEW permanently. So whatever.
The after birth from this match was pathetic with Christian getting beaten up by Omega and his clowns. People think that Christian will put Omega over so that either Daniel Bryan and/or CM Punk will challenge Omega for the AEW World Title. At this stage, I really don’t care. The AEW World Title is a joke to me and I don’t enjoy watching Omega wrestle. I think he sucks and they should just take the belt off of him ASAP since all the people coming in are actually over and more talented not to mention either past their prime or getting up there in age.
Britt Baker and Jamie Hayter Interview
They talk a bit about Hayter’s history with Britt. Let me say this. I really enjoy Hayter’s British voice. It’s soothing and she talks well compared to the rest of the roster who whine and make it seem as though a drill through the ear is far more preferable. I don’t know how good Hayter is but I think I like her more than the bulk of the women’s roster. Either way, it seems like Britt is being positioned as a heel while Kris Statlander is the face. Honestly, I don’t think it’ll work out that way with the crowds.
Tony Schiavone and Big Show Promo
Of course, this doesn’t last long as QT Marshall IMMEDIATELY interrupts the Big Show of all people. I’ve given up all hope that most people in AEW can ever complete an interview segment without some form of interruption. The only thing this does is have the Big Show announce his return to the ring against QT Marshall. Man, I don’t even know what to think of all this. No matter what QT Marshall does, people just won’t care about him. He should stay backstage and never show his face anymore. This is a complete waste of time for the Big Show in his condition these days.
Jade Cargill Promo
So she’s facing Kiera Hogan whom they complimented on her Dark and Elevation recent performances. I’m not sure if Smart Mark or whoever this jabronie is will eventually try to recruit Kiera into a stable but I don’t care. This match will be a disaster. Kiera can work and the match with Hikaru Shida shows she has fire. But Jade is awful in the ring. She botches everything and they fucked her up so badly because all they did was make her do these stupid promos rather than giving her experience in the ring.
I said this before but they’re giving her the female Goldberg treatment. I hate when someone like this who might look good physically has little natural ability in the ring. The last match I saw her was awful and she botched everything. Here’s someone who should be jobbing left and right just to get experience rather than beating everyone and having her ego fed unnecessarily.
I feel bad for Kiera because she just left Impact. But I guess the money is far better with AEW. But the girls in AEW mostly suck so if she’s being jobbed left and right, then it’s just a bad deal.
The Elite Segment
Ugh more of these jack offs. The main thing here was the announcement that The Bucks would face the winner of a tag team title tournament in a cage. I guess the Bucks will lose there but I really don’t care. This show really was trying my endurance with all the stupid interview segments. AEW should be called All Talk Wrestling because they don’t shut up. EVER.
Ricky Starks Segment
Again, I couldn’t give a shit about anyone involved here. Brian Cage is awful and they’re trying to shove him down everyone’s throats as a baby face. What about him makes for a good baby face? The guy has the personality of a wooden spoon.
Lucha Bros and Andrade
For gods sake wrestle already Andrade! I’m honestly absolutely fucking fed up with these segments! There was no redeeming value here whatsoever.
Penelope Ford Vs. Thunder Rosa
This was another meaningless squash match that belonged on Dark or Elevation. Thunder Rosa only squashes her opponents and they never challenge her. Penelope Ford isn’t great but at least physically is attractive. But she’s stuck on her own and just wandering around aimlessly. But they need to feed Thunder Rosa right? Poor Penelope got her finishers just turned meaningless by Thunder Rosa. So she might as well just stay on Dark for the rest of her AEW career.
Other garbage came on that I won’t talk about just yet.
Jericho vs MJF
I suppose I should mention the two stipulations. 1) No music is to be played; 2) No Judas Effect is allowed for Chris Jericho. So what did they do here? Yup, the crowd sung that stupid song. I think Chris Jericho cares more about the crowd singing his dumb ass song than his remaining career in wrestling.
This match was whatever. End had MJF throw a super weak looking Judas Effect (more like a blind collision) leading to him getting an armbar on Jericho. By doing this, Jericho could just lie on the ground, squinting to avoid taking a bump and tap out. So again, Jericho cares more about his stupid rock career (if you can call it that) than his wrestling career. At least with The Rock, he became one of the top paid actors in Hollywood.
Final Thoughts
Truthfully, I hated this show so much that I thought about not watching it and not doing a review. But I figured I was already waiting for dinner to be made and needed to vent after watching this dog shit of a show.
I think listening to nails scratching a chalkboard was far more pleasant than watching this crap. It was worse than the LA Marathon in forcing me to endure the never ending talking segments and horrible matches. I saw a bunch of online reviewers give 3+ stars to some of these atrocities.
Then you have the garbage with the Elite. At this point, I just want to fast forward anything involving them. They think they are the draw but I think they’re more like a morbid curiosity for the truly masochistic because they aren’t interesting people. They’re basically these useless fucks that managed to sneak into Tony Khan’s ear and persuade him that they represented real wrestling.
However, anything they touch, they bury. And the only give key positions to their buddies. Look at 2.0. Sure, they look better than their time in NXT but that’s because they’re of the same mentality as the Bucks. Why aren’t the real stars wrestling? Why are the Elite and Orange Cassidy and his gang getting so much air time?
Then there’s the upcoming matches. Stuff like Moxley vs Daniel Garcia or Brock Anderson vs Malakai Black. Really? These green jobbers going against main eventers? Shouldn’t Moxley be facing Malakai? Or what about keeping these matches on Dark and Elevation so that no one can see how rotten they’ll be. Even the announcers are down playing Brock’s chances. How does putting him in a situation like that help the guy?
Right now, I’m only watching to see CM Punk and Daniel Bryan making their debut as well as whomever AEW can grab. But these matches are wretched and they don’t entice me at all. The people they see as main event talent or TV worthy are awful and create more bad matches. They hot shot all their matches to the point where there is no build and everything feels short term, except for keeping Omega and the Bucks over.
Maybe I could suffer through the bad jobber matches that they keep pushing. But the interview segments just kill it for me. The nonstop talking which made me hate the so-called Attitude Era along with constant run ins, lack of order, rules and realism being tossed out the window really make me hate this stuff. I don’t look forward to anyone because the booking is backwards and doesn’t give me much anticipation for the elevation of people. Like poor Dante getting drilled to death then suddenly making a promo and justifying himself learning more in the future is just story telling in reverse.
What’s sadder is that their Dark shows are more meaningful at this stage in my view than Dynamite. Dynamite and Rampage it looks like are just being used as nonstop talking segments. I hate the idea that everyone single person needs a friggin’ angle. So they feel the absolute need to justify things in the most convoluted manners. It’s just frustrating.
At any rate, I’ll wait to see how Punk and Bryan turn out. At this point, I think they’ll just get a few pops, the ratings may improve by .1 then all the hype will die down because people will realize both guys are old, cannot go at the same level as people want with all their injuries and issues, and best of all the terrible booking that will inevitably bury them. But hey they’ll be cashing huge paychecks so fuck it, right?