Whelp, I’m back to doing another review. Partly, I’m doing this just to get my brain working on something because productively recently I’ve been in a terrible rut. Second, there actually were a few things worth talking about on this show and I didn’t find the majority of what I saw too offensive. In fact, a few things were at least good if not great.
Jey Uso and Paul Heyman in Ring Promo
Jey came down to the ring with his fanfare but did not get much in until Paul Heyman almost immediately come out. So Main Event Paul Heyman waddles down to ringside looking in a ghastly orange hue. He goes off on Jey on being accused of all the nefarious things leading up to joining with Seth and Bron. Heyman blows up and defends himself in screaming he was in the right this time. Honestly, I thought with all that layers of chins and the sheer amount of sweat this guy was producing, Heyman could’ve had a stroke here. In fact, maybe even Jey thought the same thing because he responded with, “Are you okay?”
Now, the funny part really was when Jey asked Heyman, “What has this to do with me?” And this is one of those things where I wonder just how caught up Heyman was in his little promo that he forgot to connect any of it to Jey initially. I mean, as far as I could remember since watching the Bloondline story, Jey never really got on Heyman’s case and started to focus on his own thing after Survivor Series and winning the Royal Rumble. So in a way, it seemed as though Heyman forgot the one critical missing piece potentially in this segment and Jey had to remind him. Of course, Heyman did recover and return his soliloquy back to Jey in how Seth wanted to challenge Jey for a title shot, telling Jey that he could pick his death warrant. Then Jey chose that night, of course, so there’s a huge main event brewing.
Of course, the announcers mention that Jey was suckered here and led right into Heyman’s trap. To reinforce this point in the least subtle way possible, Heyman slinks back to Seth’s dressing area where Seth and Bron await and mentions how Seth was right about Jey. As Seth goes to prepare and continues admiring himself, Heyman further attempts to describe the situation to Bron. Bron’s eyes light up as though he were masturbating with ketchup. Okay, maybe not that bad but you get the point. Someone on reddit pointed out how the WWE’s story telling now is so awful they need to explicitly spell out everything to the audience and my reply is pretty much. But you have to think that the audience is mostly composed of the lowest common denominator so they’re targeting cretins with less intelligence than an amoeba.
Penta vs JD McDonagh
The rest of the Judgment Day sans Liv, Raquel and Dominick are at ringside to run distractions. They actually did a little bit of traditional wrestling for a few minutes before it became the typical gaggle of flips and counters. But I wish they did more of that traditional wrestling because it was refreshing especially in seeing both of these guys do something you normally don’t see from them. Tons of interference eventually from Finn and Carlito but the ref caught Finn and tried to toss them out. However, Chad Gable shows up and tries to interfere but gets kicked in the nose for his trouble. Penta got back inside and JD made a recovery, hitting his head move which should’ve earned him the pin. But he went for a moonsault and missed which allowed Penta to score the pin with his Mexican Destroyer. Honestly, I wish JD had won here just because there was so much interference that it made no sense for Penta to win when it was a 4 on 1 situation. And JD needed a big upset win to re-establish himself after the injury.
Austin Theory vs Sheamus
Prior to this match Grayson Waller and Adam argued about Grayson’s opponent with poor Theory showing up and taking the match on behalf of Grayson without knowing whom his opponent would be. Match ended up being Sheamus and Theory got embarrassed again with Grayson being of little use. They’re doing a very slow burn for a potential Theory turn but apparently Theory wasn’t happy with Grayson’s involvement (or lack thereof). We still don’t know if Theory’s mysterious social media post really meant anything at this stage but unless he turns soon, it seems he’s just going to get buried on his way out.
Becky Lynch and Lyra Valkyria Promo
Becky storms out indignant about the disrespect and she asks the audience that she sucks when it was not audible at all. But the one thing that Becky does well is promos and controlling the audience the way she wants. So even though the audience this week wasn’t giving her the response initially, she forced them to move in that direction. Lyra comes out to counter and admittedly does cut a decent promo. She’s still generic to me but at least what she said was good and how she said it. Eventually, Becky got fed up and tried to clock Lyra but Lyra dodged and they got into a brawl. The brawl wasn’t bad and they seemed to try to make it look good compared to others in this position. Slower blows so that they looked like they could connect. Becky tried to go for her finisher again but Lyra ducked and his hers instead.
I mean, effectively, this is what Charlotte vs Tiffany should have been but Becky is a far better promo than Charlotte and it seems that Lyra is better than Tiffany by far. By the way, Tiffany still can’t cut promos so I’m guessing that Becky has been coaching Lyra quite effectively.
IYO SKY vs Roxanne Perez
This was a non-title match but the idea was that if Roxanne could beat Iyo, she would earn a future title shot. I’m firmly behind Roxanne at this stage. She’s really won me over. I like her expressions and selling. Roxanne went after Iyo’s leg and Iyo would sell here and there but she’s honestly not good at that because she’s inconsistent. She’s like a much worse version of Manami Toyota because Iyo wants to pop up fast and do her moves rather than focus on the story. The ending had a variety of roll ups for which Iyo won the exchange. Afterwards, Roxanne shook Iyo’s hand then left the ring where Giulia showed up and started the beatdown. Roxanne beamed with glee and the pair did a nice beatdown. I’m not exactly happy about Giulia wrestling Iyo because I think Giulia needs to get away from other Japanese women wrestlers so she’s forced to speak more English and get out of her comfort zone but I can’t think of many people she should be feuding with at this stage.
Otis vs Rusev
The early part was like an old school match with actual lock ups. There were a few tests of strength but more or less this was a Rusev squash match. I didn’t mind because I’m enjoying Rusev especially when he takes out the jabronies like Otis. Tozawa came in and stupidly challenged Rusev. Tozawa actually spoke (or screamed) in English in challenging Rusev and I kept thinking, “He sounds better than almost all the other Japanese wrestlers when it comes to English. When did this happen?” Problem is that Tozawa is the lowest guy on the totem pole but he does serve a purpose which is the guy you can toss around when some big dude needs to look impressive. Anyway, Rusev beat Otis up some more but I guess they’re trying to sell that his gimmick is making people better by bringing out this odd potential in them. Sounds stupid and complex but I think they should just keep it simple and make him beat the crap out of people. That suits him best.
Gunter vs Pat McAfee Face Off
Unfortunately, we’re going to see McAfee wrestle against Gunter this weekend. But I will give credit where credit is due. McAfee does a really good promo. If he wasn’t this dumb jock type MAGA fucker, I would actually enjoy his promo. But that along with his shitty commentary make me hate him. Not to mention I like Gunther. He’s just in limbo at the moment because everyone else is involved in something to either push Seth, Bron or Jey to the moon. People feel that this weekend’s match should be a squash and I agree.
Jey Uso vs Seth Rollins
This wasn’t a bad match. Not a great match but people were into this. It started off a bit slow but picked up in the end especially when neither could pin the other with their bigger moves. Sami came down to help Jey out in dealing with Bron but Bron hid and took Sami out with a spear. Eventually, CM Punk made his way out with a chair that cost Seth the title but let him win via DQ. Seth had a nice oh shit look on his face once Punk’s music hit. The show ended with Heyman, Seth and Bron retreating back to the locker area while Sami and Punk stood tall with Jey in the background recovering.
Not shown on TV was a quick attack by Logan Paul on Jey. Punk and Sami did try to help their friend but Logan took off before anyone could get a hold of him.
Final Thoughts
This wasn’t a bad show. Things felt like they were moving forward nicely. I wasn’t interested in the matches themselves but the stories being produced. I think getting Seth involved in the world title picture again was a great move since it elevates Jey assuming that he’ll beat Logan. We aren’t sure where Logan stands as of now or if he’ll join Seth’s group. He might just be doing his own thing since he has his own schedule. Punk coming out to help Sami and Jey make an interesting alliance. No Roman again except mentioned in name only but I’m guessing we won’t see him until Summer Slam.
I still am not a fan of Iyo Sky but I am intrigued about Roxanne and Giulia immediately being cast into the women’s title picture. I’m not entirely sold on Lyra even though she’s been doing a better job on the mic against Becky, but I really credit Becky more than anything. It’s like they learned their lesson from Charlotte vs Tiffany but have the right people doing this type of deal the proper way. I’m curious which direction Rusev will move towards because he’s mostly re-establishing himself. He ought to be a major player no matter what but I don’t know where they can position him at this moment.
On the bright side, I wasn’t bored. I liked what I saw and there was enough to digest that makes me want to see Smackdown this week. Last week’s Smackdown was dreadful and I didn’t even bother trying to do more than catch clips. But I am a little more hopeful at this moment.
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