We’re a week away from Wrestlemania weekend which means the card is almost set, the stories are drawing to a head and we need more advertisement for the Hall of Fame, Wrestlemania, finger pointing at the Sign and other silliness to get to the destination. This show was broadcast from Seattle, Washington but I wouldn’t say this crowd was that hot.
Randy Orton Opening Segment
Nick Aldis opened with Randy Orton where Randy talked about his need to be on the Wrestlemania card. His desperation is so bad he even dared Nick Aldis to step in the ring with him. It’s a weird segment where Nick wants to get respect from Randy, Randy says he does respect Nick but it’s a tongue twister because they seem to want to do too much and try to make sense of the past as well as justify Randy’s RKO on Nick and cool off Kevin Owens as a result of his neck injury.
Then Solo Sikoa and Tama Tonga come out to jaw jack with Randy and name drop Jacob Fatu for eventually beating LA Knight down the road at WM for the US Title. Randy needing a fight demands the pair of Samoans to fight him in the ring. Of course, because it’s two on one, Randy becomes overwhelmed which brings out LA Knight because they name dropped him. LA Knight gets the mic to pump up a match where he gets to tag with Randy and face Solo and Tama later. Nice idea since it pairs LA Knight with Randy to move him slightly higher on the card and prepares him for his match with Jacob.
Women’s Tag Team Gauntlet for a Tag Team Title Shot at WM
I didn’t name the teams in the header because there just was too many. But I’ll do it in bullet points here:
- Bayley and Lyra Valkyria
- Shayna Baszler and Zoey Stark
- Natalya and Maxxine Dupri
- Kayden Carter and Katana Chance
- Michin and B-Fab
- Alba Fyre and Piper Niven
This was a lengthy squash match where you knew Lyra’s team would win because she’s the one getting the big singles push. Liv Morgan and Raquel Rodriguez are sitting at ringside to react (like those shitty YouTube reaction videos). Anyway, most of the teams here are hacked together except for Carter/Chance and Niven/Fyre. You could even argue that Fyre/Niven were hacked together because they’re mostly support accessories for Chelsea Greene’s bad comedy.
Fortunately, the “matches” themselves weren’t long in themselves. Maybe each team got anywhere between 2-5 minutes in because Lyra and Bayley were going the longest. Lyra scored the bulk of the victories for her team and Bayley I believe only got one pin. Bayley obviously was the coordinator in these matches since most of these teams had someone green on them. Heck, even Natalya made a cameo here and did nothing except look bustier and thicker compared to her anorexic goofy partner. I think the main purpose besides getting Lyra to beat a bunch of nobodies, they wanted to showcase the greener girls to get them more air time and experience.
That said, I’m unconvinced of Lyra at this point. I think the WWE are sending up a bunch of green people from NXT too quickly and none of them are impressive. With Bayley, no matter how hard she tries, she’s just meh at this point because she’s starting the down slope of her career. As far as WM is concerned, there’s no good reason for Lyra to hold the tag team belts when she already has the IC belt and Bayley isn’t going to get more over than she already is at this stage. So that’s just a throw away match.
On a side note, the announcers talked about the Tiffany Stratton and Charlotte Flair “viral clip” where some “fan” apparently filmed the two in the parking lot fighting. Actually, it was Charlotte attacking Tiffany. It was so hard to see that I originally thought one of the participants was Liv Morgan and I read that it wasn’t just me. Well, at least they’re moving into the physical violence phase between these two because neither can cut a promo to save this train wreck of a “feud.”
Damian Priest and Drew McIntyre Confrontation
So the idea here was that both men were supposed to meet in the ring and perform some verbiage to address their rivalry. Instead, as Damian sauntered towards the ring, Drew came out of nowhere and knocked him silly. Drew bounced Priest’s head against a ring side screen before officials pulled him off. With his “hey look” type of arrogant pose, Drew slid into the ring while officials dragged the stunned Priest away to the back. Drew then hyped up his fight and himself where he revealed his eye was healed.
Then Priest fought his way against the tide of officials back towards the ring and managed to get in a few blows as Drew slipped under the ropes. However, Drew took over and gave Priest a Future Shock on the metal steps where it looked as though he took a harder hit than Priest. Somewhere in there, Drew hit his head and busted his scalp open because he kept checking his hand and there was a line of blood. So that infuriates Drew where he picked up the steps and pounded it on Priest’s head. Priest had that wide, glossy eyed appearance which was funny as fuck as Drew told him off.
Honestly, Priest is a goof. He doesn’t do much for me and really all of this is Drew. Priest really needs to be shoved back down to the midcard to feud against Solo Sikoa, LA Knight, Jacob Fatu, etc. for the US title at this point. He’s just not good in any of this and he exhibits no personality while his matches are mediocre. On the other hand, Drew is one of the top heels in the company. He needs to get away from Priest, beat the fuck out of him at WM then go after Cody Rhodes. That’s the real money match down the line.
Rey Fenix vs Berto
Berto talked smack against Fenix the previous week in not being impressed by Fenix. So they have this match. I paid attention because I’m very curious how Fenix will be handled in the WWE. Let me say this: he’s so much fucking better here than in AEW. Even if I’m not a fan of lucha these days, the way the WWE is producing Fenix here is miles better because he’s not just going 100 miles an hour. There was a good ebb and flow here. I don’t really pay attention to guys like Berto but I did like him here. This match didn’t go long, again it showcased enough of Fenix for me not to be sick of him, it actually made me impressed with Berto and I’m now piqued at what else Fenix will do.
Of course, the mini angle afterwards was Santos Escobar telling Berto to shake Fenix’s hand because he’s far more impressed with Fenix than his own guys. Berto begrudgingly does so but eventually that leaves just Escobar with Fenix to hype Fenix up. What’s good here is a slow build of Fenix where he’s building himself up against lower rung guys, getting those wins in, showcasing one or two impressive spots and looking good. I don’t know or particularly care about the Escobar aspect but I’m sure it might lead to Fenix telling him to fuck off for the babyface pop and possibly Penta and Fenix teaming up. But I’ll wait for that to happen. It’s just not something I’m overly excited about at this point. But I will continue to monitor Fenix as he develops in the WWE.
Roxanne Perez and Tiffany Stratton Backstage Segment
This wasn’t a long segment but I needed to write about it because it shows just how crappy Tiffany Stratton is to me. It’s obvious that the WWE is slowly transitioning Roxanne Perez to being a part of the main roster from NXT. So they have Tiffany Stratton come out and the two have a bad bitch argument. Roxanne actually is a better persona and promo than Tiffany but Tiffany changes back to being her bitchy self. From what I read, both worked against one another in NXT so it feels they were revisiting their beef, which is probably why Tiffany acted like a total cunt here.
That said, with the Charlotte Flair feud and coming off of her title win from Nia Jax as well as that awful tag team of her and Trish Stratus (awful because of what she named them), Tiffany has zero clue how to portray herself in front of a camera. I think she’s actually a conceited bitch who cares more about doing Instagram photos and posing with the title than being a good wrestler. I’m hoping the WWE sees this as well because they’ve got a lost cause here who didn’t really learn and was pushed to the moon based on her ability to pull off a moonsault rather than understand wrestling. Either way, Nick Aldis (whose door they were next to) comes out after hearing both women complain loudly and sets up a match for later.
CM Punk and Heyman Friendship Video Recap
This is a weird, out of place video that did some history of Punk and Heyman’s friendship that dated back from Punk’s OVW days in the mid 2000s. From what I read, this video might be hinting at Paul turning on Punk at WM. I still think Brock Lesnar will come back when Seth, Punk and Roman surround Heyman at some point in going, “WTF?” (which again makes Heyman the centerpiece in all of this) for which Lesnar’s music will play and clear house. I hope I’m dead wrong about that because Lesnar, despite being a big name and having an impressive past, is fucking old and it’s time for the WWE to move past him because they’ve got better people on top and Lesnar really wouldn’t add anything (unless the WWE just wants to justify paying him). That said, whether Lesnar returns or not, the idea of Heyman turning on Punk might be a thing because people were talking about how Punk turned on Heyman at some point so this might be revenge.
Zelina Vega vs. Chelsea Green
Earlier, Chelsea had been banging on her Hervice’s (ugh….) dressing room door in pleading that she was having a match with Zelina. Zelina comes out and makes fun of Chelsea while Chelsea’s minions fail to respond. Ugh…just more bad comedy.
Afterwards, there’s an almost non-match. While very little happened, the main point is that Chelsea got preoccupied on the outside which allowed Zelina to get a count out victory. I guess you gotta give poor Zelina a bone once in a while. I’m sure this is going to setup some US title match with Zelina and Chelsea. That said, let me say that Chelsea is awful. Death gimmick that no one can take seriously. I’m sure there are the “ironic” fans that love Chelsea but she either never wins, can’t win on her own, doesn’t look like she’s capable of winning and is more about the reactions than trying to be taken seriously. Quite frankly, I think Zelina SHOULD beat Chelsea for the US title just because poor Zelina is more credible than Chelsea and deserves a consolation prize for all those years of just sticking around at this point. At least, Zelina is more serious right now whereas Chelsea is in that goofball stage where she’s given a title for no good reason but no wins to make her believable.
Naomi / Jade Cargill Hype Video
This wasn’t horrific. I think most people liked Naomi. She got out an annoying evil cackle but she pointed out that Jade is an opportunist. Jade’s viewpoint was about her having aura and not being a rookie anymore (really?) and she ends with her closing signature line. I think the Powers-That-Be in the WWE realized what a disaster the split screen interview segment was between Charlotte and Tiffany and decided to make Naomi and Jade go through a heavily edited version to promote their match. Now, in all likelihood, Naomi probably could’ve pulled off her half of the split screen portion. She’s been decent on the interviews since her turn. Jade though…she does need to be produced. I still like her but like Tiffany she exudes arrogance especially when she uses words like “aura” and “star” then describing herself no longer as a rookie. I mean she’s been out and her last singles match she lost. So there’s a lot that needed to be worked out on her side.
I think if they did the split screen thing, Jade could’ve worked herself up into a shoot or not be able to come up with things on the fly. So as long as she’s being heavily controlled in these situations, it’s hard to take her as seriously.
Cody Rhodes in Ring Segment
This was such a weird promo. I get what he was trying to say but the words he used to get there felt like they would go over most people’s heads. He had all the titles out and didn’t really make use of any except the one he carries around to put over the idea of the legacy of titles. I mean this promo just meandered all over the place without really saying anything concrete. I read on one reddit how Cody still is a shit promo and this was a prime example. He fucking even called his father a babyface. Goddamn. Why do that?
This promo reminded me of the end of this one episode of Game of Thrones season 6, episode 6 called Blood of My Blood. The end scene had Daenerys recover a HUGE Drogon and return to the conquered Dothraki army and give this “motivating” speech to follow her. That whole ending just fell flat for me because it was lame. I mean, effectively Daenerys was cutting a supposedly babyface promo against Westeros. And while the Dothraki NPCs were going to cheer (the equivalent of piped cheers), her words felt more like a tweener’s. And yes, Daenerys at that point in the show, had her loyal cult following but if you examined her rhetoric, she wasn’t always the white meat babyface compared to say Jon Snow. A lot of Daenerys’ words were very heelish and she more like Tiffany Stratton (not even Charlotte Flair) where Daenerys was a one trick pony. Instead of just doing moonsaults and acrobatics, Daenerys’ hat trick was her dragons. She eventually would pick up a sword out of desperation but she was no warrior. And her most trusted advisor ended up jobbing on her behalf. So go figure….
Tiffany Stratton vs Roxanne Perez
Holy crap is this women’s day? Anyway, these two have a match. It isn’t bad and I didn’t ever see their NXT stuff. I was curious to see more of Roxanne Perez than Stratton since my knowledge of Perez is limited. Stratton did hit a few power moves, the crowd mostly liked her but she’s not getting major pops for everything. She did get a major pop for the Tiffy Time moonsault but the WWE crowds are effectively trained monkeys. For Roxanne ate a pin. Hopefully, she’s not going to be a jobber on the main roster because I think she has more talent than Tiffy by far.
Afterwards, Charlotte comes back out to attack Tiffany and I’m dying of laughter. Poor Perez becomes an invisible after thought while Charlotte beats the fuck out of Tiffany. Officials come out to try and separate Charlotte with Wade Barrett telling her that she’s going to get fired. Honestly, I prefer Charlotte in all of this because I find Tiffany annoying and honestly not very competent as their top woman down the road.
So let me say this. I think Roxanne Perez should have won the Royal Rumble and not Charlotte. Since the main event is going to be Punk / Roman / Seth and the sub event Gunther / Jey, no one would’ve really given a fuck about the women’s title match. I think it was risky putting the title on Tiffany and that the crowd mostly got behind her because they actually hate Nia. However, Tiffany is just proving that she’s missing a lot and no one is sitting her down to help her figure out what she really needs to stay on top.
If Roxanne Perez won the RR and went on to face Tiffany, the match would feel to be on more equal grounds. Also, I think Tiffy’s naturally bitchy personality would have worked better against Perez and they would’ve been able to take their act to the main stage. The main positives about Tiffany and Roxanne are age and not being as injured and broken down compared to the rest of female roster. And Roxanne would’ve been a fresh face that if the WWE needed to take a chance could at least be built up for a main event slot that people could take seriously.
That said, I think the WWE should take the belt off of Tiffany so that Charlotte can have her eventually match with Jade. Beyond that, the whole women’s scene currently is a disaster in the WWE.
Randy Orton and LA Knight vs Solo Sikoa and Tama Tonga
Not an offensive match but it got the job done which is to give Randy something to do, give more visibility to Solo, push LA Knight closer to the top and have Jacob come in and do his post match on LA Knight. Randy and Solo ended up battling to the back so that LA Knight could hit his finisher on Tonga. But Solo had given LA Knight his thumb and LA Knight was selling it which allowed Jacob to come in and do his schtick. Crowd loves Jacob and I’m almost sure they’ll put the US title on Jacob. If they don’t, the only reason is that Solo fucks up in interfering in the match to complete Jacob’s face turn and give LA Knight the extended US title reign. But if LA Knight does retain while Jacob feuds with Solo, I don’t know whom they’d setup next as a major opponent for LA Knight. I still think Damian Priest should be pushed down and be in this mix somewhere because he’s not main event material.
Final Thoughts
Not a terribly offensive show. A few developments here and there but nothing that still gets me excited for WM coming up. The big thing is that John Cena will return next week which is good because that Cody promo sucked ass and they have no heat beyond what Cena is bringing. The most interesting story line remains Punk / Roman / Seth because Heyman is probably writing that and put himself in the middle but the rest of WM is bland to me.
The only other match that has me morbidly curious is Charlotte vs Tiffany. Honestly, I think that match will suck. Some people I think want it to see it devolve into a shoot but Tiffany can’t wrestle from what I’ve seen. I’d be more interested in Charlotte embarrassing Tiffany in the match itself but I doubt Tiffany is going to know what’s going on. It’ll probably be mostly a squash with Charlotte dominating unless Tiffany gets bad advice and something happens. That said, I’m kinda hoping for more Tiffany segments because those are atrocious but again in a morbid fashion. The faster they take that title off of her and demote her to a lower level the better.
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