Coming from the Gas South Arena in Duluth, GA, this was going to be a kind of homecoming for Cody Rhodes. But given his reactions in recent months, one would wonder if his return really would be considered a homecoming or an awakening? Also, Jim Ross was out as a result of his chemo treatment which allowed other guests announcers to attend the booth. But everyone did wish Jim a speedy recovery, including myself.

Bryan Danielson vs. Alan “Five” Angels

Prior to the match starting Hangman Adam Page was announced as the first guest announcer. In his case, Tony Khan provided the old stipulation of “if he touches the other wrestler, he gets suspended,” schtick which is stupid when you don’t really do anything useful with it. But I’ll return to that aspect after the match.

Alan got some offense in but I wouldn’t say he took Bryan to the limit. This match didn’t last long and Bryan was in full heel mode where he becomes more aggressive by the day. Also, noted is that Alan no longer is wearing the stupid mask so he doesn’t look as generic as before. Now, he’s just in a group with three generic looking bald bearded men. Might as well be Storm Troopers. Either way, I didn’t care because none of the Dark Order jobber guys are particularly interesting nor are they good wrestlers by any stretch of the imagination. More like a bunch of cult figures for a limited audience that find them endearing.

At any rate, Bryan made Alan tap out and got on the stick with Tony Schiavone in the ring. He basically said he broke Alan’s MCL and insulted in the audience in saying they wouldn’t know what an MCL was. Then he called out Adam Page in insulting him by calling him coward shit, which brought the hot headed cowboy towards the ring.

John Silver intercepted Page and told him that while Page couldn’t touch Bryan because of the stipulation, he could. Of course, that led Bryan to get in both men’s faces where he denigrated Silver’s stature as being a nothing and teased a conflict with Page. But nothing happened that was remotely close to triggering the stipulation so it made that whole thing seem silly.  Of course, part of this is so that John Silver can get his match with Bryan even though we all know he’ll be doing the job.

Miro Promo

They had Miro wandering around in a white screen, which seemed stupid. But he delivered a promo where he said he found a new answer. In reality, he’s off filming something and probably recovering from that leg injury that they showed at the PPV so they probably had him send this in at the last moment just to keep him on TV. The white background was so cheap looking that it reminded me of an early 90s garage band video with no production value. Miro couldn’t even find a broom closet where he was?

CM Punk vs. Lee Moriarty

MJF came out earlier to do commentary in replacing Page. I was somewhat intrigued by this match because Lee Moriarty actually is pretty good and he took CM Punk to his limit. They’re playing up the story that CM Punk isn’t “hanging with the young guys” and “winning by the skin of his teeth” which was one of the criticisms of Punk’s matches in AEW since he isn’t doing a million flips but actually adding realism to his matches because he’s one of the few wrestlers who sells properly.

Some people were upset that this match had no story going into it but from what I read, Lee Moriarty is a big fan of Punk and I’m guessing that the stuff Dante Martin and Lee Moriarty did in their tag match really impressed Punk to having him ask Moriarty for this match. They did the old Malenko/Guerrero rollup/counter sequence at one point and it looked sharp. Punk also hit a Frankensteiner off the top rope. Moriarty reversed a Pepsi Plunge into one of his own and got a near 3 count. However, Punk managed to lift Moriarty on his back and gave him the GTS for the pin.

Afterwards, MJF got up to talk smack about Punk for which Punk retorted. They got in each others’ faces but MJF had Wardlow come out. I think what they could’ve done is have Moriarty tag with Punk in a subsequent week where they face Shawn Spears and Wardlow. Then Punk puts Spears to sleep while Moriarty gets the pin. That way, Moriarty gets a little shine by being with Punk besides just jobbing to Punk and they can get a little mileage from this match since it probably would have belonged on Dark or Elevation (and Punk don’t do those shows).

Britt Baker Backstage Interview

Baker’s group got some therapy to calm themselves down after their losses. But they announced that Jamie Hayter will face Riho next week where Riho will be able to challenge for the title if she beats Hayter. Honestly, this is so moronic. How does someone arbitrarily make up a stipulation like that? This is the dumb shit that the booker of the year needs to fix in making their shows more realistic rather than an out control insane asylum. It’s a minor detail but the wrestlers shouldn’t be the ones adding stipulations.

Adam Cole Segment

For no good reason, Adam Cole comes to the broadcast booth supposedly to be the next guest announcer. As Orange Cassidy comes out for what one may assume will be for a match, the two get into it. Orange does his stupid gimmick as the Bucks come out and they trade the stupid kick blows. It’s such a waste of time. Eventually, they triple kick Cassidy and Yuta and Chuck intercept and I don’t care because this whole thing was stupid. I mean, it’s not like Cassidy had an opponent. What was he going to do? Well, maybe the Bucks and the Best Friends now will be stuck in an endless feud. Just take Adam Cole out of this.

Tony Neese Video Package

Neese gives a little promo on why he’s going to take Sammy Guevara’s TNT title. Since it seems that the Lambert/ATT vs Inner Circle story is dead (thank god), Guevara hopefully will be free to defend the TNT title and make it mean something. Don’t think Tony Neese is the one who will grab that title though. Would be good if Adam Cole frees himself from the Bucks and chases Guevara.

Wardlow vs. AC Adams

This was a jobber filler match. Spears afterward came in to deliver a few gratuitous chair shots to Adams. I kinda wish Punk ran out here because then maybe it would connect things to what he is doing.

Death Triangle Backstage Segment

Rey Fenix is notably absent and it’s reported due to travel issues. Is this guy just really unreliable? Anyway, Pac is sporting an eye patch and will be replacing Rey Fenix for the 2/3 falls match against FTR on Rampage. People are speculating he’ll join Malakai Black and sport that weird eye after having been misted. We’ll see.

Gunn Club vs. Sting / Darby Allin

This was one of the better matches that night. Sting was super over here and they played up him not wrestling in George for over a decade. Darby Allin is insane. The tope he hit on Austin crumpled him on the floor like a folded up accordion. Eventually, he hit his flipping stunner that allowed Sting to catch Colton for the Scorpion Death Drop. That honestly was a damn cool combo move for these two. Sting got a massive pop for the win, which gave the Gunn Club their first loss.

One thing I will give AEW props for is letting the legends do their own thing. Sting can’t do all the stuff from his ’89 days or his feud with Vader, but he is being used right in getting his spots in, getting some nice wins but not damaging and helping to elevate Darby along the way. And the Billy vs Sting stuff was interesting because of both men’s status in the business.

Jericho Backstage Segment

Alex Marvez is there so you know what that means! It’s interruption time. Jericho tries to deflect the obvious criticism of him leeching…I mean latching onto Kingston’s popularity by talking about 2.0 and not helping Kingston. So, of course, that brings out 2.0 with Daniel Garcia who give Chris a beat down. No Eddie Kingston for a save. Maybe he’s still eating that cake.

Taz Segment

Taz goes orgasmic at how Team Taz is in the battle royal and has a Scott Steiner math chance of winning. Lio Rush comes out to confront Taz about being a fighter etc while Taz tells him to retire again. That brings out Dante Martin who smirks with Team Taz. I like Taz just doing commentary. But having him do commentary and managing his group feels off strange just because it’s disruptive.

Kris Statlander vs. Ruby Soho

This was another semi-quarter finals match for the TBS title position. Both women got chants to start but they went into more mat wrestling that took the audience out of it. I didn’t mind this because they were trying to setup bigger spots for later and eventually got the audience back into the match. There were a few interesting points in the first half of the match where both women were going to use hard strikes but pulled back out of respect for one another.

After the commercial break though, both women were hitting bigger moves and I liked it because they started to get the audience back. It felt like good wrestling where you built up towards harder hitting moves rather than having no flow. Ruby hit a crazy poison rana followed by another rana for a 2 count. She tried to hit her low kick but got it blocked. Statlander would eventually try for her crazy piledriver but Ruby slipped out for a tight rollup for the pin.

For me this was the match of the night. Very good wrestling match. They shook hands with Statlander being disappointed. Then Vicky Guerrero came out to talk smack to Statlander as Nyla Rose attacked Ruby as they will be the next set of opponents. Statlander made the save but Nyla did some damage so the question going into their next match is how will that effect Ruby. I still think the finals will be Ruby vs Thunder Rosa. While I can’t guess what the ending will be, I do think maybe whatever Nyla does will factor into that match. But this might’ve been Ruby’s best match since arriving in AEW.

Andrade El Idolo vs. Cody Rhodes

So they called this an Atlanta street fight. Translation: garbage match. They literally had a garbage can tossed at one point in this match. It went all around the arena and wasn’t something I cared to follow. The crowd chanted for tables, which Andrade teased but denied early on then later grabbed one regardless. He got a hip toss into the table for his trouble.

The big spot everyone was talking about came when Cody’s whore…I mean Brandy ran to the ring disguised then with a giant smile on her face put lighter fluid on another table followed up by torching the thing. And here we go with the indy-rific spot. So they took forever to setup a reverse suplex spot off the top rope so that Cody would be the one taking the brunt of the damage. He even caught fire a bit but turned over so that he could make the pin while his wife outside continued to stand around with a giant smile that probably was because she was on TV again for god knows what reason.

This match was such a clusterfuck that my respect continues to drop for Cody and Andrade every time I see them in the ring. There was no reason to have this match and even less of a reason to have that stupid fire spot. I cringe anytime I see unnecessary fire spots in the middle of the ring because of the hazard potential especially after the Great White disaster in Rhode Island.

People are speculating that this was a test for Cody going heel while others said that this was a desperation move by Cody to try to get a big pop. I’m still waiting to see how this will all pan out. The thing is that he was in his hometown and got that mixed reaction. I think once Brandy hit the ring it pretty much was assured he would get a negative reaction because no one wants to see her around.

What I do know is that Cody is a fucking idiot and his wife has even less brains than him for not attempting to convince him otherwise in contriving this spot. If you watch CM Punk and Bryan Danielson’s matches, they aren’t desperate in doing stupid things to try to put themselves over. Bryan fully accepted his heel turn and knows how to work it because he’s smart enough to realize he can have fun with it. And Punk doesn’t resort to cheap tactics to get what he’s doing over.

Cody seems like someone who is desperate for attention and badly in need of validation. So he’ll pull stupid shit out like this because he thinks it’ll garner the respect of the fans. The type of respect he wants will not be the type he gets in these situations. It just makes him look like a goof and a glorified stunt man that lowers him to the same level as the Bucks or Omega.

And Brandy is just….the way I describe people like her is that some people earn what they do. Others have tricked themselves into believing they are that person and deserve the things they are given. I still think she’s just a succubus from South Park.

The one spot I forgot to mention in this degenerate, forgettable embarrassment of a match was Arn Anderson slipping on the stage and falling over. I like Arn Anderson and I worry about his health but goddamn that was the funniest shit. It was even funnier because Andrade’s pee-on came out to assault Arn, which is what initiated him backing up and stumbling. Then the pee-on grabbed his hand to pull him up only to wail on him some more. Oh god, the hilarity. All I could think about was how bad that made Arn look and that this could have been avoided if they didn’t try to start the match OUTSIDE OF THE FUCKING RING. Just morons thinking something will look cool only for everything to fall apart.

Final Thoughts

What a weird show. The first half of AEW tends to be the better stuff. But I really enjoyed Ruby Soho vs Kris Statlander. The so-called main event was more of a botched series of things that was definition of a car crash analogy.

But too many jobbers for a big TV program. The Dark Order just are bad and uninteresting, Wardlow powerbombing a jobber endlessly just to remind people he exist on TV, the stupid Orange Cassidy skit with the Best Goofs and just having these weird ebbs and flows between shows does not make for compelling TV. The AEW fans think that Alan Angles vs Bryan Danielson is great but it’s not ratings grabber stuff. They endlessly tease matches without delivering making segments fall flat like Page vs Bryan. You don’t even get to see Jon Silver who says that he can fight Bryan that very night. So why should the jobber come out?

They really just need to work on their setups. Things get tossed in at the last second. But some things have no relevance to anything. So these segments come off just like “okay, it’s your turn to be on TV.” These shows have no build and feel like some drugged out schizoid with bad ADHD is writing everything. But I think we know that from the weeks leading to this point.

Now, there’s another topic I wanted to address where I read how Big Swole did not renew her contract. I read she had medical issues which probably played into this but I can’t tell if that also caused her matches to stink. So this is not a huge loss. Along those lines, I read that a good number of AEW contracts is coming up. At this point, it might be a good time to review the people who should not get a renewal:

• Angelico – Hasn’t been doing anything of note. Just a goof with a goofy gimmick and looked like he would make a better kite than a wrestler.
• Alex Reynolds – One of the few Dark Order members that doesn’t look like some generic bad headed bearded guy. Unfortunately, despite that he still does nothing to stand out.
• Brian Cage – Sorry, just not a good wrestler. He can do fancy moves and has a good physique but his matches stink.
• Brandon Cutler – Keep him in a backstage role. Keep him the fuck away from the front of a camera.
• Chuck Taylor – Just a flabby guy who has a nondescript personality and is hanging around another goof.
• Jack Evans – Might as well get rid of them both. He can do fancy moves but botches them and can’t structure a good match
• Joey Janela – Time to get back to the indies.
• Kip Sabian – When was the last time you ever saw this guy?
• Marko Stunt – Same as above but when was the last time you wanted to see this guy?
• Michael Nakazawa – Beyond useless. Let him just be a translator.
• Luther – Let’s be honest here. If he wasn’t friends with Jericho, he wouldn’t be around. Maybe this time around his status will change.
• Serpentico – Get rid of him along with Luther as a package
• Sonny Kiss – Nothing against what this person does but there’s just no appeal in his/her current booking.
• Trent? – Nice that they keep paying a guy who has been out forever. But I don’t think this person has done anything of note.
• Abadon – Awful gimmick. My first choice as the channel changer.
• Bunny – Just not good. If you have to keep the Butcher and the Blade, then just use her as a valet. If it were up to me, I’d toss all three (Butcher is just too inconsistent).
• Rebel – Don’t let her wrestle. Please, for god’s sake, don’t let her wrestle. She’s fine as Britt’s flunky but that’s it.
• Penelope Ford – I assume if they can Kip Sabian, Penelope Ford won’t be far behind. She’s got one upside which is her age. But her matches are terrible and she’s just too damn skinny just like the Bunny. Maybe I wouldn’t mind these two if there was a tag division and they needed jobber heels. But that’s about it.
• Yuka Sakazaki – Doesn’t belong here. Too small, unconvincing and can’t pick up her opponents. Seen too many botches from her and there’s really no place for her. Also, with Mia Yim, Ember Moon and Taya Valkyrie on the market, you wouldn’t have to worry about international visas and inconsistencies.

I’m not trying to be harsh here. I’m just thinking that this is like any growing company. You get rid of the first bad wave of people, retain the high performers and ditch what wasn’t working. All the ROH and WWE releases allow for a better bunch of picks so these other people hopefully can use what they learn, go back to the indies and/or find another spot where they can get better training.

 

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