My Remaining Reasons to Get Married

I’m truly ambivalent of being in a relationship and single at different times. Being single is great on the one hand for me because I don’t have any obligations to anyone except myself. I’m so used to being alone that I’ve kinda given up on the thought of getting into a relationship again. I mean, if I suddenly lost my job then it wouldn’t matter as I have no one but myself to feed. And in that sense, I don’t have to worry much because I’m not a huge eater (I was living off one meal a day at one point).

However, at the moment I’ve been in crunch mode. Not my first nor certainly my last. If my work would ask me to do weekends, there’s not a lot of excuses that I can make. Married people though can get out of things with the kid or wife is sick excuse. This situation along with other reasons got me thinking about this post where I wanted to discuss my remaining motivations to get married.

With regards to work, there’s a huge pragmatic aspect to getting married. Naturally, having a family does allow some tax breaks. Of course, I would be sharing that income, but that’s besides the point. At least, on paper, my take home pay does improve somewhat. And as mentioned above, the wife (if I ever get one) can always pull me away from my job and I can grovel to my superior.

Yet there’s another aspect for me that’s important, which is dinner. I tend to eat poorly when I go home. I think if I had a wife, I imagine that she would be responsible for cooking. If not, at least I won’t be the sole person handling the decision making process for food. And anyone who knows me well would realize that I have an impossible time perpetually making a decision on what to eat.

Another thing is that I may or may not have to worry as much about physical fitness. I figure one of two things can happen: 1) the wife will force me to eat better and we hit the gym; 2) the wife will not care and I can forget for the rest of my life to worry about such things. More than likely, the situation will end up being something in the middle. But I think at least the stress in the back of my mind of not going to the gym as often as I need or losing motivation ought to subside somewhat.

Having an activity partner. I got ditched on a Vegas trip recently and ended up squandering one night’s room. I seriously doubt that if I were married this problem would ever occur again. Similarly, I wouldn’t ever have to worry about traveling by myself and can actually go more interesting places. Right now, I rarely leave my home outside of occasionally seeing a friend or two or going to work.

Having someone to talk to at night. I cannot converse with my mom any longer. I get better reactions talking to my sink. And even though I have friends, I can’t confide every little thing with them. Hopefully, if I get married, the wife will be a person who has no problem understanding (and wanting to understand) me. Maybe some of my so-called sanity problems that people perceive about me might dissolve over time.

Having someone to help me out once in a while. At home, I feel like I get almost no help. Although I live with my mom, she does little to nothing in terms of maintaining the house. It’s frustrating because previously we had a large fight about the whole home ownership issue. Yet she felt the house was hers so I decided to let her deal with most of the problems. That said, it’s rough living in such filth. I lose so much motivation when I’m here and just prefer staying in my room whenever I have my private time. I rarely clean up except when things become extreme. I’m not saying I want a completely enslaved wife, but at least someone who can lend a hand once in a while.

For me it’s not just about having sex or a kid for looking like a normal person’s sake. I think the second to last point is one of the most important to me. Finding that type though has been impossible and I feel as though there’s not a lot of hope left for me.

Druid at 79; Cataclysm Coming Up!

Feeling rather ill this weekend, I did little again outside of working on my druid. I managed to really push her, landing at 79. Hopefully, if I have enough time tomorrow (or this week), I’ll get her up to 80 fairly quickly. Then it’ll be on to Mount Hyjal.

I want her at 85 quickly so I can continue to work on her Inscription skills as well as having someone with the capability to find Volatile Life. Afterwards I can continue to level either my hunter or my shaman (maybe even my warlock).

That all said, I’ve been interested in seeing how other feral druids DPS rotation is handled. One thing I’ve noticed is that there’s little information on solo feral druid DPS rotation with the current patch. Most of the information is geared towards raid bosses or situations where you have a tank. The reason for my interests is that cats supposedly have a complex rotation. But I think that rotation is more for bosses. From a solo perspective, it seems a lot easier.

As a solo feral druid, I have two methods: prowl (always when out of a fight), pounce (when it’s on cooldown), ravage, rake, feral fire (which stacks 3x), mangle x5 and any remaining energy goes to rip. When pounce is on cooldown, my next method is prowl, ravage (from behind), rake, feral fire, mangle, tiger fury, then mangle x4 and rip. Usually, between kills, I alternate in letting the cooldowns between pounce and tiger fury wear off so that I can start up again. Also, I have a macro that turns on my cool downs such as berserking, berserk, trinkets and whatnot. Right now, I think it’s busted because there might be some excessive abilities that get prevented as a result of some other ability on global cooldown.

I did read one comment on wowhead lamenting when people use mangle as the premier combo point builder as opposed to shred. Because shred requires you to be behind your enemy, I think for solo feral druids it’s impossible to use unless there’s an easy way to paralyze a mob so that you can build combo points. Realistically though, shred seems to be the combo point generator only in boss fights or where you have a tank managing the direction of the mobs for you.

At any rate, I am looking very much to yet another level 85 toon coming up. I can’t wait for her to be able to make relics and darkmoon cards for my toons.

PMI == BS

I just took a mega survey that supposedly was to help my friend. Originally, I thought that I would be simply writing a recommendation. Instead, I took a buzzword compliant mega form that made the SATs seem like a pre-school exam.

After reading through all the various terms, I wanted to thoroughly shove my head in a toilet filled with murk because that certainly would be cleaner than the garbage spewed by that institute. I mean, seriously, is project management that difficult? Is this the reason why large organizations fail? That is, because there’s so much BS created through this discipline that it forces companies to a halt?

I do see the validity of a project management type of role in large organizations to help prioritize and manage resources within a company. However, I think that the extent demonstrated in that survey is overkill. The survey honestly sounded like someone with way too much time on their hands decided to take this idea and make it into an overburdening discipline.

To me project management is like playing war/strategy games like Starcraft or Command and Conquer. Given some resources, you have an objective you need to complete with those resources. Perhaps, the only complexity that might be involved is the human factor of getting people to do actual work. But no amount of academics can ever prepare you for the incalculable number of personalities that emerge in the work place. And no amount of training can ever prepare one for the way these personalities can react to each other and the manager.

For software at least, I find this subject matter pretty irrelevant. I think software projects are more prone to succeed if you have software people working on them, including the project managers. I think it’s pretty rare to find non-software people being able to succeed in heavy technical environments unless they’re willing to delve into the tech side in creating that bridge. And certainly you don’t want to throw a n00b PM into a monstrous software project if they lack any technical background.

But it is kinda scary from my point of view where the whole PMP/PMI thing is being shown as this academic discipline. It’s just not realistic. Reminds me of the movie Aliens where they had the incompetent lieutenant Gorman who flew 38 simulated combat drops, but only 2 real ones (including the doomed one). If you go strictly by the book, you end up with a snafu like Gorman, lacking the ability to compensate because you don’t have the necessary experience to handle difficult scenarios. And god help you if you’re in a different cultural environment (happened on a project that I was on in Japan).

At any rate, this is a major reason why traditi0nally MBA programs wanted students to have at minimum 5 years of working experience. I think PMPs should definitely have something similar (not sure if they do; but if they don’t they better change that aspect immediately!)

Long, Productive Week

This week was truly brutal. The first two days I was living off of Redbulls (despite my exigency not to down those things anymore) as I had things I needed to accomplish. I only managed to hit the gym once this week as I just felt physically burnt out. From Friday, I started getting a slight sore throat and thisĀ  weekend I just felt physically atrocious.

That said, there has been glimpses of a light at the end of the tunnel.

One thing is that we won a nice award over at Launch, receiving the “Most Likely to Succeed” trophy. It’s not our first and we’re still in the finals for the Stevies. The president gave us some great stories when he returned for our all-hands pow-wow and I just felt really pumped in hearing the positive reception to our product.

I do believe that the next two months will probably see some blood shed in terms of hours and clearing towards the home stretch. However, all things considered I do think it’s worth the effort. Part of why I’m so high is simply that what I do has high visibility in the company so I can directly impact the bottom line. Sure, we’re still a start up so naturally everything people do in the company contributes.

However, I feel certain that this is where I need to be. I’m not lost in a mess of established cliques trying to vie for recognition with upper management. Instead, I can help establish the foundation and achieve bragging rights for whatever I do.

As a result, I feel extremely motivated and am willing to put forth the necessary effort to help move things along. I think my 12+ years of experience in the industry is starting to really pay off as I can contribute in a positive fashion. Add to the fact that I enjoy the environment and what I’m doing, it makes things less painful compared to prior situations where my existence had no meaning.

I’m very much looking forward to putting my stuff out into production and seeing the reactions of our customers and future customers. I think that the product can only get better.

Down the line, the other thing I’m looking forward to is the company growing. It’ll probably be a while before we make some major growth (maybe a few months). But when the engineering side (especially my group) expands, I think it’s going to be a lot of fun.

How the World May End

There was a really cool video shown from NASA about the sun having a monstrous solar flare today. While supposedly we were lucky in being out of harms way, one has to wonder if our luck will run out some day. Of course, considering recent talk about the so-called end of the world predictions, seeing something like this somewhat reifies an otherwise ludicrous pronouncement, making the situation reminiscent about an old Saturday Night Live gag where a prophetic quiz taker repeatedly answered “meteor” (for which, his opponent got crushed, thus allowing him victory by default).

Obviously, one day the earth that we know will be consumed by the conflagration of our illustrious neighbor. There’s not a lot people can do about that, but supposedly that true dooms day is way off in the future (unless some alien is secretly planting a reactive device in the sun that can cause it to erupt). When most people ponder such an event, they probably wallow in sorrow (except for the hardcore religious people who feel that something divine will eventually save them in some unidentified, abstract fashion). For myself, I couldn’t care less.

The whole idea of the world ending draws little to no sympathy from me. One, no one knows for certain how it will end. Second, no one for certain knows when it will end. For me, it doesn’t matter. The only thing I can hope for is a swift end to consciousness such that my pain receptors instantly dull upon that moment of non-existence.

But I do feel that most people would mourn the fact of loss. Loss of what? Memory? Culture? Civilization? Materials? Relationships? Sure, I would feel bad for a few things that would go missing. My giraffe and innocent stuffed animals. My chart of 50-100 women that are listed on my secret file that I would ask the aliens for my upcoming UFO to allow to accompany me. My home and my mom. Maybe some friends.

However, to mourn over the entire civilization as it exist today is utterly arrogant. Call me harsh but I honestly feel most people are here by accident and lack of planning. It’s why people are constantly resource constrained. That guy sitting over there takes up a percentage of your food, water, income, etc. and acts as a general impediment. I can become more specific than that.

Going through the drive through at Jack-n-the-Box (I never learn…), I encountered two utterly incompetent workers. They completely gave me the wrong change on two occasions, relying on the cash register to properly guide them. Then the guy didn’t even bother to ask whether I wanted any condiments, which is pretty standard. More than likely he was either new to the job or stressed out as a result of the guy in front of me (it looked like he got his order screwed up as well), but that didn’t give me much confidence in humanity. The woman, who I assume was the manager, didn’t fare much better. It’s not like this hasn’t happened before. In these situations, my saying is “Well, there’s a reason you work there.”

Regardless, I’m utterly certain down the line this type of job will some day be completely automated, removing the necessity for human intervention at least at the fast food chain level. That said, somehow the way society works is that it’s currently designed to put these people, who lack skills or competence and probably ended up as an accident in this world, to use somehow because we need taxes, certain elements of labor, etc. That said, I feel that it’s completely unnecessary (probably as upper management probably thinks software people like me are absolutely unnecessary…more on that in a minute).

Similarly, I found this link online about a woman who complained about her treatment at a theater. I won’t summarize it but my general feeling is that after reading the article and listening to the recording, I concluded that I absolutely hate people. Things like this make me really hate people. I didn’t feel that the woman nor the theater were any better than the other.

Going back to my situation about how upper management (not necessarily my company but George Carlin’s so-called “Owners”) probably sees me as a slow, useless, incompetent software guy, well those people are equally sad. My justification for why I’d like to not be classified with the Jack-n-the-Box duo is that I actually try to contribute something useful to society in some way, whether its through how I attempt to help friends out, software development, writings, money donations, etc. I’d like to think of myself as someone that is not an obstacle on the critical path, but someone that can hopefully enhance this world by a tiny bit in a positive direction (minus my rants). I truly hope those “Owners” do not lump me in with the rest of these people.

I could probably point out hundreds of instances easily of similar situations. But rather than providing myself a case for committing suicide through utter depression, I will say that the notion of feeling sorrow for the end of civilization as we know it doesn’t cross my mind for one second. In fact, I kinda embrace it. Start from a clean slate if there’s enough smart cookies that manage to figure out how to get off this rock in time to avoid total destruction. Then those that were smart enough can hopefully utilize history to avoid repeating all these mistakes (although the idea of rebuilding would be pretty damn hard considering that more than likely all the resources beforehand are probably gone, unless you do something like that 2012 movie where you build large arks to preserve wild life, etc.)

Again, if the world ends like that, I’m only hoping that the aliens that people supposedly have seen have identified me as a positive member of society and are willing to let me board their craft and choose around 100 people (or so). I think the number really is around 500, but the 100 people are my, uh, special list, if you know what I mean šŸ˜‰

World of Warcraft: Movin’ on Up

I just got my druid to level 68 and moved her to Northrend in the Borean Tundra. Her inscription is now at 361 and I plan to do a few round wandering around the area to do some gathering. Although I predict the next few days to be somewhat busy, I’m hoping that this weekend I’ll be able to get her to Dragonblight as well as some green gear.

I must admit that the two heirloom pieces have been a tremendous boon. While I cannot enchant them, the fact that I never have to deal with picking up chest nor shoulder pieces is great. Not to mention that accelerated leveling from the 25% experience bonus (including my guild’s +5% bonus).

Since I’m no longer free these days, it’ll take me a little longer to level her up. Perhaps two weeks. But pretty much my focus will be completely on her. The end goal is to get her to 85 as soon as possible so I can work on the highest inscription capabilities. That in itself means creating relics and the epic trinkets. Also, my other goal is to have someone dedicated to obtaining volatile life.

On a side note, I found it interesting that my hunter was able to sell off his old leatherworking materials. I didn’t earn as much gold as I would’ve during the Wrath of the Lich King patch, but it was nice to clear some room and make some change.

Of course, I can’t wait until my shaman and warlock hit high numbers for their levels so I can dominate the professions market. That’ll come in due time once my druid caps at 85 šŸ™‚

World of Warcraft: I Learned Today….

I’m such a bonehead. I never knew this until today that you could create enchantments using scrolls. But I suspected that you could otherwise enchanters would be even more valuable as a sought after class on servers. For myself, this is great news because it provides a great deal of incentive for me to level up my shaman, who is my enchanter, fast. Already, he’s at level 60 with an enchanting skill of 350.

However, there are two major stumbling blocks: 6 more large prismatic shards and 1 primal might. The primal might will probably be the most difficult thing to obtain. I figured that the large prismatic shards can be created through disenchanting goods that my paladin blacksmith makes. But primal might won’t be so easy because it requires an alchemist to transmute various primals into the primal might. Ugh.

What that means for me is leveling up my warlock in the near future so he can handle the transmutes. But I kinda want to avoid that at the moment because I’m currently working on my druid.

Currently, I’ve managed to push my Death Knight’s Jewelrycrafting skill to 525 and am now just doing dailies to acquire the tokens. My goal is to obtain the other iLevel 346 recipes as my other toons level up towards 85. From there, as I had mentioned, I managed to forge my shaman to level 60. He’s done a few introductory quests to Outlands, but I’m placing him on hold temporarily while my druid starts her run to 85. Before going into my druid, I will briefly mention that my old hunter has joined the rest of the group so I’m slowly working him to 85. He’s already at 82 and close to finishing the entire Mount Hyjal quest chain. I’m working slowly on him as I’m having him quest with my friend’s Paladin.

So really the main story at the moment boils back to my druid. Now that she’s out of what I call the “hazing zone” (i.e. Hellfire Peninsula), I’m having her concentrate on hitting 68. Already, she’s obtained GM in both herbalism and Inscription. So I’m having her just grab as many herbs along the way as possible, making glyphs to level up her Inscription skill. She’s getting close to finishing Zangermarsh, which may put her slightly below level 67. But I’m certain that if she tackles Nagrand next, I won’t have to get her to quest anywhere else (if not, I’ll probably have her do Blade Edge Mountains). I’m mostly racing her to level 85 so she can max out her Inscription and start crafting ilevel 346 relics and the Darkmoon Cards as well as making her my primary herbalism farmer. My death knight will have to wait a little while even after obtaining the recipe for the tanking ring before he will be able to craft it, since volatile life is impossible to obtain without a high level herbalist.

Later on, when my warlock maxes out his alchemy skill, I think I might ditch his herbalism for tailoring. No point in having multiple gathering classes and waste profession slots.

World of Warcraft: Hitting A Wall of Professions

Once you have an 85 level toon, it’s very easy to have stuff trickle down to your other toons. In my case, I’ve been supporting my shaman’s tailoring and enchanting skills through my paladin. I managed to accumulate a great deal of frostweave cloth that was sitting and collecting dust in his bank account and I desperately needed to move it out. So after finally levelingĀ  my death knight to 85, I am now able to concentrate on other toons, namely my shaman and druid.

I want to give my shaman priority at the moment because he’s got a very high level tailoring skill for his level. Already, he’s making frostweave bolts and helped clean up my bank account. However, he’s still level 56 thus preventing him from doing some of the cooler tailoring patterns like making frostweave bags. This is quite frustrating but simply tells me that I need to push my shaman hard for a while so I can get him to level 65 and above quickly.

At this stage, he’s in the final leg of pre-BC questing. I will be sending him to the Blasted Lands as soon as I can. Unfortunately, at level 56 he cannot make use of the portal. In turn, I’ll have to take some time to walk him through, which can be annoying (I did this with my druid previously and she got nailed a few times near an Alliance town in Duskwood). I’m hoping that the Blasted Lands will provide enough XP on top of the 5% guild bonus and his 20% BoA bonuses to allow him to hit 60.

Once I’m done there, I’ll send him to the wonderful Hellfire Peninsula. The great thing is that he already has two flying mounts, including one flying carpet. So it’s a matter of getting through the Peninsula.

Eventually, I’d like to work on my warlock and rogue again. My friends are leveling up their toons and soon will catch up. Afterwards, I’ll take these two out again. I’ll have to spend a day or two on my rogue’s gathering professions though since I’ve neglected them for a while. One of my long term goals is to make her a pure gathering class and freeing my hunter’s skinning for something more productive like engineering.

World of Warcraft: Moving on Up!

Finally, I managed to have my death knight hit level 85 today. That’s my second 85 next to my paladin. I’ve halted questing temporarily in the Twilight Highlands and will start having him focus on mining ore. That will allow my paladin eventually to ditch his mining and switch to enchanting down the road. Along with that, my death knight’s jewelry crafting skill is nearly maxed out and will take about 5 more days to reach the limit. I’ll probably use the time in between to grab more ore so that I have enough materials as I do dailies.

In the meantime, I’ve started to work on my shaman again. He’s important as he possesses fairly high level tailoring and enchanting skills. My goal is to get him to at least level 65 as quickly as possible so I can continue to work on those two skills, particularly tailoring as it’ll provide for larger bags. Of course, I hope to continue with my druid sometime too since she’s focused on Inscription. I’m trying to make it a point not to spend much money when possible and instead be self-sufficient, thereby avoiding the auction house for things like glyphs, bags, and other equipment that I can make myself (epics are a different story altogether).

Sometime cool I discovered was Tol Borad. I had my paladin do the dailies there and even the BG. Very fun zerg fest style BG. After scoring some honor, I learned that I can convert it to justice points. This works out nicely as I can buy the higher level superior items and get item level 346 for any remaining gear. In the future then, I’ll might be able to do some raids.

In addition, I moved my hunter from my old server over finally. I’ll probably get rid of my troll hunter and draeni paladin. Then I can create my last two missing classes in the warrior and priest. Not a big fan of either class, but I simply want all classes maxed out eventually. By then I should have all professions and then some. I have no idea what to do when I max out my professions. Maybe just take some gathering classes.

Where to Go From Here?

Now that I’ve been betrayed and injured like Michael Corleone from the Godfather series, I need to figure out where my life turns from here. In some ways, it feels like freedom because I’ll never have to worry about that issue again. I can find someone new to obsess over. A friend of mine at UCI after breaking up with his girlfriend once told me it’s the same feeling as taking that final wipe of your butt after making a big shit in the toilet. I couldn’t agree more.

However, it also feels like floating in the middle of the ocean (minus any sharks or other dangerous animals). At the moment, I can’t see any islands nor signs of life. I’m not in endangerment kinda like being on a cruise ship that has an indefinite amount of supplies and I’m the only person aboard. It sucks in some ways because I have no idea which direction to steer this ship. But I do know that I can go anywhere I want at this stage without worries.

Life-wise, I’ve recently taken a decent job and I enjoy the environment thus far. It feels weird though because I can’t tell if it’ll go big or not in truth. I think the guys at work are great and that the business model has definite footing. But I’m someone who has his share of doubts, especially after going through two recessions. On the other hand, my last two companies went IPO on the same day so it could be that the 3rd time is the charm.

The other thing is that Reina getting married might be an indication of the sacrifice of something important for me to obtain an even better thing in my life. I’ve always felt that life is all about balance; it’s all about give and take. My life tends to beĀ  more about giving than receiving (or taking) so I’m still waiting for that fateful day that I can proudly declare on my facebook/twitter profiles that I’m rich finally.

Of course, I’ve said this to myself previously and ended up empty handed. In that sense, trying to discern meaning from nothing is similar to all those Rapture hopefuls that spent their life savings on a non-existent event.

That still doesn’t answer how I should move on in terms of relationships or where to turn. Almost all the girls/women I like are in relationships (refer to the previous video post to see my response to that). Norika Fujiwara smartly got out of her relationship with that boneheaded asscrack comedianĀ  husband. So is she the one?

I don’t know. Actually, I don’t know how to feel right now. I’m totally drained today. I want to hit the gym to burn off my angst, but I can’t even tell if I’m angry, sad or what.