Where to Go From Here?

Now that I’ve been betrayed and injured like Michael Corleone from the Godfather series, I need to figure out where my life turns from here. In some ways, it feels like freedom because I’ll never have to worry about that issue again. I can find someone new to obsess over. A friend of mine at UCI after breaking up with his girlfriend once told me it’s the same feeling as taking that final wipe of your butt after making a big shit in the toilet. I couldn’t agree more.

However, it also feels like floating in the middle of the ocean (minus any sharks or other dangerous animals). At the moment, I can’t see any islands nor signs of life. I’m not in endangerment kinda like being on a cruise ship that has an indefinite amount of supplies and I’m the only person aboard. It sucks in some ways because I have no idea which direction to steer this ship. But I do know that I can go anywhere I want at this stage without worries.

Life-wise, I’ve recently taken a decent job and I enjoy the environment thus far. It feels weird though because I can’t tell if it’ll go big or not in truth. I think the guys at work are great and that the business model has definite footing. But I’m someone who has his share of doubts, especially after going through two recessions. On the other hand, my last two companies went IPO on the same day so it could be that the 3rd time is the charm.

The other thing is that Reina getting married might be an indication of the sacrifice of something important for me to obtain an even better thing in my life. I’ve always felt that life is all about balance; it’s all about give and take. My life tends to beĀ  more about giving than receiving (or taking) so I’m still waiting for that fateful day that I can proudly declare on my facebook/twitter profiles that I’m rich finally.

Of course, I’ve said this to myself previously and ended up empty handed. In that sense, trying to discern meaning from nothing is similar to all those Rapture hopefuls that spent their life savings on a non-existent event.

That still doesn’t answer how I should move on in terms of relationships or where to turn. Almost all the girls/women I like are in relationships (refer to the previous video post to see my response to that). Norika Fujiwara smartly got out of her relationship with that boneheaded asscrack comedianĀ  husband. So is she the one?

I don’t know. Actually, I don’t know how to feel right now. I’m totally drained today. I want to hit the gym to burn off my angst, but I can’t even tell if I’m angry, sad or what.

Rapture on 5/21/2011 for Me: Reina Miyauchi from MAX Gets Married :(

For the average person on this earth, Rapture (aka 5/21/2011) was a rather uneventful day. People went on their business or were awaiting for a cataclysmic event to occur. There certainly was an eruption from a volcano in Iceland, but it only affected a small section of the world.

However, for one small person (i.e. me), the event did occur. I truly believe the event only occurred for my eyes to see and understand. That event was that Reina Miyauchi from MAX had gotten married. I read it at around midnight. I don’t believe that this was a coincidence and it definitely affects me deeply.

If you don’t know about my “relationship” with Reina, it’s that I’ve been obsessed with her for 15 years now. She was the one I’ve written stories about, included her as the main character in almost all my writings after college and probably spent way too much time and money making myself into a fool in defending her and obsessing over her as well as missing numerous opportunities to get into relationships because she was the ultimate person I would’ve taken with me to the grave if given a choice.

Reina, you hurt me deeply. You’ve betrayed me because you’re blind. Judgment has indeed been passed. If you’re smart, abort the child, tell that husband to fuck off if he knows what’s good for him and repent. I’m currently listening to evil, satanic music in the hopes that another earthquake occurs in Japan. If it does, then you should at least be aware that it’s your fault for being a stupid whore.

Here’s to you betrayer:

The New KeithWatanabe.net is Alive

My old blog site is still up as an archive of my 7 or so years blogging. However, I’ve decided to retire the code because of the difficulty of maintaining that code base (especially considering that wordpress seems to be a better fit). So this will be the home to the newer version and be more community friendly so people can easily post comments and contribute in the future.

My current plan for the site is that I have no plan. As always, I prefer to do things on the fly and simply share my thoughts and feelings with the world. I hope that the information provided herein will be useful and/or entertaining to others. In the meantime, strap yourselves in because my mouth is NEVER short of cutting (edge) words.