Pokemon Go: Why I Uninstalled This Game Immediately


I won’t lie and say that I didn’t want to be part of the whole hype train burgeoning around the Pokemon Go craze when it first started. However, it took me at least three days of logging on and off before I could even register because of the server instability. Once I managed to bypass that load of crock, I was less than impressed by this nonsensical piece of garbage.

First, that UI with the balls and trying to catch pokemon all around you just is terrible. Maybe I’m getting too old for some tech but there’s no real tutorials the minute you launch the game. You’re given access to your camera which turns on inexplicably so that you can find these little bastards hidden around you. Now, anytime something requires access to my phone’s camera, I immediately get super paranoid. Not only that but it’s a horrible drain on the battery.

The stupid music in the background did no favors in trying to win me over neither. Just max level blaring garbage. I can’t imagine what it would be like if someone were at a store, installing the game for the first time then loading it up. I figure that a lot of people would just look at you like you’re a freak and want to toss your phone under a running car.

But the real kicker for me was when that email leak happened. I already was uncomfortable about the level of required access just to play a fucking game. Location? Camera? Email? What the hell? It became pretty apparent what was going on the minute the email leak occurred because that automatically told me how the game would be funded down the road.

I think when people heard about the leak, Niantic pretty much was forced to patch that up out of fear of people eventually discovering what their true intent was. But considering how many servers issues and bugs there were from day one, their PR probably chalked that one up to just another unintended issue.

However, as the server issues were slowly fixed and streamers and friends alike began singing praises over this shitty game, I kinda felt guilty that I passed judgment so quickly. Was I wrong?

NOPE!

After a little digging, I found out through a friend that the company originally published another game called Ingress that had more features but nowhere near the success of this game. Pokemon Go looked to be a stripped down version with just the IP slapped on for appeal. But that other game Ingress was an oddity in itself because it was supposed to be some augmented reality game.

However, I think that the camera usage and location tracking along with how you’d give your email out was meant to be a way to spy on you. Yes, I am just that paranoid. But look where this company came from: Alphabet, aka Google, aka we’re desperate to spy on you so we can continue having support by the governments. The people involved in this company were the ones who made Google Maps. I don’t think there’s a lot of coincidence in the way things are lining up here.

You’re essentially helping to give up your privacy by turning your camera on and providing people with finite geolocations so that businesses get some level of aid. That’s fucking stupid. Fuck these businesses. It’s almost blackmail.

I love how all these people justify the game as being a way for kids to get out and walk around too. Instead, I think of it as just another way for people to be even more annoying with their crappy mobile devices. It’s no surprise seeing some contenders for Darwin Awards pop up when people are too enslaved to their devices and this cancerous creation.

I suppose my issue is that I never experienced the Pokemon craze growing up. The people who thrive on this game are all these early 30-something types, claiming how this game brought back their youth. My memory of Pokemon was twofold: 1) kids going into epileptic fits from the hallucinogenic eyebeams 2) Chinpokemon. Not ironically, life mimics art again and the South Park guys correctly predicted this stage of brainwashing with this game.

That said, it seems that the craze for this game is slowly dying out. Like most games, the hype for this last roughly a few weeks at best. Once a few people started figuring out exploits and Niantic and Twitch began issuing out fixes/bans, it pretty much spelled the end of fun for such a retarded game.

My only interest in the game in the first place was to examine it as a form of augmented reality. However, the only “augmentation” being received was seeing a stupid animated character hop around while you threw virtual balls at it. But I suppose people are easily amused for a few minutes these days. Google/Niantic made their money back and are probably hard at work taking all the free data stupid users provided them in figuring out new ways to advertise and whittle down our privacy. For myself, I’m staying far away from anything Pokemon related just because South Park correctly had warned me.

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