Harvey Weinstein/Hollywood Thoughts

The hot topic in Hollywood is the aftermath of Harvey Weinstein getting removed from his own company as a result of sexual harassment charges covering over a decade (maybe even more). From this incident, much more of Hollywood’s dirty laundry has slowly been uncovered where other stars, directors, producers, etc. connected with Weinstein are either fessing up or becoming connected and complicit as part of these charges. Many women in Hollywood (as well as the more supportive men) are advocating changes within the industry specifically for this conduct but I feel that the issues are far deeper.

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Health: Little By Little

Since starting on my smoothie journey, I have to admit to becoming 100% addicted to it. Right now, I need to have a smoothie every day. I try to make one in the morning or at least after lunch. That provides a fair amount of energy and I can drink it throughout the day. Usually, it’s good for 1 1/2 servings which means morning breakfast and possibly evening snack. I’m trying to add new ingredients and am looking into a few alternative recipes.

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Giving Healthier Lifestyle Blogging A Try

My attempt at a slightly healthier lifestyle. Babysteps

A photo posted by Keith Watanabe (@keithyw1975) on

The last few days I’ve slowly been doing small things to have a healthier lifestyle. It’s no secret that I’m someone who has trouble maintaining himself when it comes to staying on course with dieting and exercise. However, a friend encouraged me to blog about the journey. I figured maybe if I write on a daily basis that it will help motivate me to do something small just to improve myself.

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Trying to Find Balance in My Life

As an engineer living in a city with fairly bad public transportation and an ever increasing expense situation, I find it difficult to maintain myself as years pass. These days there’s little to no protection for employees in truth and the economy has become unstable. So if you get a project that causes you to work ridiculous hours, you’re screwed. How can one deal with such a problem? Find balance in your life.

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The Truman Show: A Conversation with A Higher Being

I didn’t know about The Truman Show for years but discovered it this past year after watching a few conspiracy videos on the Illuminati (yes, I find the subject matter fascinating but I don’t take everything at face value thankfully). What drew me to The Truman Show though was the idea of questioning our own existence as it relates to coincidence. In short, why are we here?

I’m positive the vast majority of people have encountered numerous points in their life where they began to question their existence. People turn towards religion to try to make more sense of the world. Others turn to philosophy and science. For myself, I just question everything.

With the last decade’s uprising of reality TV shows, The Truman Show takes the idea and throws into high gear by connecting it and asking whether or not our own lives could be an epic reality show that has not been cancelled thus far. Similarly, South Park had an episode which revealed that the earth itself was just a comic reality show in the universe, hence why different species have been placed here.

Whenever I think about how things have gone in my life, I feel as though there are numerous parallels between myself and the character Jim Carrey plays. If suddenly a UFO appeared in my back yard and the producer of this “show” manifested, I wouldn’t be surprised at all. My reaction initially would be, “What took you so long to get here?” That whole thing made me think about a conversation that might take place with this so-called higher being.

Being: “You’re not surprised?”

Me: “Not at all. Your hints weren’t exactly subtle. I mean, I’m glad you didn’t drop a camera out of the sky because you would’ve blown your cover. Not to mention, why do the same gag twice?”

Being: “True. But the subtleness we retain because it’s part of the show; we want to keep the audience on the edge of their seat. Whenever there’s a possibility of discovery, rather than having the traditional piped in stock laughter, we added a stock gasp audio byte.”

Me: “Do you have a counter for that?”

Being: “Nah, but it would get old quickly. We thought about something similar where people could guess when you’d figure it all out and give away a prize. But as you can tell, our budget is pretty low.”

Me: “Wow. I’m glad I’m worth all the 99 cents you could muster. That all said, why now? Is this the whole ‘death’ thing? I mean, do I get to become part of the audience? Do I get my own space craft and have my prize after enduring this crap for so long?”

Being: “Ratings started to drop. They didn’t like the fact that you started to figure out how to be happy for yourself. They always liked watching you suffer so you could push yourself. Things have to feel epic on a normal scale, if that makes any sense. We could’ve just put up a bunch of physical obstacles for you to consistently trip over, but you don’t handle slapstick very well.”

Me: “Well, that kinda blows. It would’ve made things a LOT easier.”

Being: “As you well, know easier isn’t always the most entertaining. Especially profitable.”

Me: “Sheesh. I would’ve thought that you guys wouldn’t be about money. Is it all about money there too?”

Being: “How else do you think we created your system? Anyway, we aren’t that creative as you can see.”

Me: “So no hope either for whatever place you’re at?”

Being: “Don’t be so melodramatic. And you have the audacity to call Jim Carrey melodramatic!”

Me: “Ugh, I just want to get to this theoretical place called ‘paradise’ already! I figure for all the pain and suffering I’ve endured, I get something nice out of this, right? Or is this where the whole, ‘you must live life strictly by those rules you heard about from the gospel?'”

Being: “Oh that stuff? That’s more comic relief to see who really falls for shit like that. Come on. Do you really think we’re such nice folk for tossing you onto a shitty rock and letting you flap your wings on your own? I think it was Fred in accounting who came up with that joke. Ended up being a bet on how many people would fall for that gag.”

Me: “Wait. So how many people are in on this? How many people are just cast members?”

Being: “A mixture. Some are, some aren’t. You really thought you were the only one?”

Me: “Hard to say.”

Being: “Random factors make the show more interesting. We want enough control to guide you to the next possible plot twist, but enough randomness to keep our viewers interested. It’s an art and a bit of a science to be precise.”

Me: “Okay, so I guess you just threw all my hopes and dreams out the window. Do I get anything that’s not lame at least? Please say it’s not something stupid like a t-shirt.”

Being: “Well, that joke got old decades ago. For the gift, what’s your pick?”

Me: “You’ve known all this time what I wanted. I’ve well publicized every little bit. I figured you’d at least plant spyware in my systems.”

Being: “Oh, alright. A flying saucer with 500 people of your choosing and enough room to carry your house and all the compliments for an eternity supply of happiness. Are you satisfied finally?”

Me: “Squee!”

World of Warcraft: Mist of Pandaria’s Philosophy, Reflections on Postmodern Society and My Own Life

“Slow down” and “enjoy life” is the constant message you’ll hear from the Pandaren folk in World of Warcraft. The oddball conspiracy theorists (including that personality quirk inside of my head) might be quick to point out that this is some Illuminati/government/elistists tactic to pacify the gaming masses. Or is it a reflection upon how the gamers and society as a whole need to look upon themselves and the last few decades and really re-examine ourselves?

My belief is that the message is not intentionally profound and just a subtle jab at the fast consuming appetite of gamers. However, at the same time, the demand of consumption is an overarching theme with the increase in access to information. Our lives currently have been sped up hundreds of times over as well as our stresses. But I don’t believe the quality of our lives have matched the death march we have entered.

A friend of mine recently told me that “her life couldn’t get much worse.” At first, because of various issues in moving to the states, I felt that something major happened like she got fired, divorced, kicked out of her home, etc. Then she revealed me that her pride was hurt because of how she had to start from scratch. I honestly wanted to troll her because I was outraged. When I looked at the past few months and 2012 for my life, I felt that things couldn’t get much worse. Mom having her stroke, switching jobs to a high pressured situation, uncle and grandmother passing away, numerous points in my life getting out of control and no end in sight for any of these things. And someone else complaining that they had to “start from scratch.”

When I look at places like Fukushima in Japan, I think of all the Japanese people who have no opportunities to escape. These are people who probably never had a thought to leave the country and wanted to spend a peaceful existence working on a farm or other occupations. After the radiation, many people in Fukushima were bullied and even treated like outsiders for something they had absolutely no control over. More than likely their children will feel the effects of the radiation in the coming years not to mention the loss of generations of work. But the saddest thing is that their own people turned a blind eye to them, shrugged their shoulders, gave them the finger and walked away.

I’m certain if they knew well in advance what their fate would be, they would have long gotten the fuck out of that place. If they had a chance to marry a foreigner and live a life elsewhere, simple logic dictates that more than likely they would have made that move to ensure a better life. But most probably don’t have that chance. And that’s from people in those zones. There’s many others in Japan, whom I believe will be effected in years to come. Not to mention how many Japanese lack the language skills and other abilities to potentially live abroad.

So starting from scratch doesn’t really sound that bad by comparison.

That all said, to me the mentality of all this reeks of the fast paced mindset. MTV, The Social Network, billionaire kids, etc. all have blinded us into this dystopian dream that we cannot achieve in trying to become something most of us never were destined to become. Everyone wants to be the rock star on stage with the world cheering at you. But how do you get there? You backstab all the assholes in your way, suck executives’ dicks until you’re purple, snort lines of coke to make your networks and take it in the ass even if you’re not gay. In short, you prostitute yourself for others to get ahead in this world.

In many ways, there’s no way around this method. But should we as a species engage in this death march? Are we moving at such a pace that despite technological advances, we have ignored each other to the point where we can nod at Darwin and say, “He da man?” Is Machiavelli correct in his work The Prince where he believes that fear rather than love should be what drives a kingdom?

My answer is look at yourself deep and hard and everything around you. Do yourself a favor and step outside of your body and mind and survey the world and the direction we’re heading. What’s the purpose of all this? Why are we in this unending dick measurement contest? What do I get out of it?

There will always be someone who will say “yes!” to the above questions. They will eventually rise above all of us and attempt to subjugate us because we helped make him or her and they managed to slither, stab and suck all the way to the top somehow. That’s fine because that’s how things are and more than likely something that won’t ever change due to our simplistic, animal nature.

However, the question I’m posing isn’t directed to those people. I’m focused on you who come here to read my mental meanderings and are hungering for answers in your own lives. The thing is for myself, I’m starting to recognize that you really require a self-loathing personality to become like that. Essentially, the litmus test is whether or not you’re willing to kill your mom. If you cannot go through sacrificing your mom, you’ll never make it. In short, you lack the kill instinct to do whatever it takes to get on top. You lack the cold blooded nature to become successful and be on top and stay on top.

When you come back to earth and start looking around you, look deep inside of yourself and see if you have that mean spirit. You’ll recognize it because you won’t feel anything. It’s complete emptiness. You’ll have no feelings whatsoever and that’s how you know you can survive. You lack the human weakness of guilt and doubt and realize that you really care about the people around you. But you feel confused by everything because of all the mixed messages around you.

This is why you need to stop and seriously reflect on things. Spend some time along in a park, away from everyone and everything. Get back to nature and enter into a forest where the only things around you are the soft whistling of trees, the chirping of birds, the trickling of a pond. Get away from the hecticness of postmodern life and the electronic noise and delve deep into your psyche. You need to in order to conjure up the correct answers for your own life.

“Slow down” isn’t just a message for people who are quick to consume content. It’s a far more vast revelation that we need to re-think our lives. For myself, it’s only when I met incredible tragedy in the past 13 years where I realize what’s most important to me. It’s not about being this rock star on stage. It’s about the things right in front of me and trying to get each moment from those things and turning them into something memorable for myself.

When I was younger, I was blinded by the rock star syndrome. Not exactly being a rock star but the idea of becoming this huge house hold name, being loved for my talents, stories, movies, websites, etc. I would go into these blind paths en route to my dreams. But I had no real plan. I had no idea how to pull any of this off. Also, I had no focus. All I knew was that I wanted the end point not everything in between. In short, I didn’t have what was necessary to make it.

But along the way, I got blindsided by my own fantasy world of super stardom. I had an invisible chip on my shoulder that only I could see and was looking for people to knock it over. However, I didn’t even advertise that chip so there was no one to really challenge me. All I had was this horrible voice in my head guiding my actions without a clear path. In the process, I feel that I messed up. I focused too much on money or lofty goals that were well beyond my reach. For instance, in Japan, I probably missed a lot of great relationship opportunities because I was looking in the wrong direction. Because I wasn’t happy that I wasn’t a superstar, my confidence was shot and I probably made a lot of people miserable around me by being too negative. Also, I spent far too much time on wasteful projects that led to nothing.

What I should have been doing was focusing on the quality of my life. Doing things like learning to cook, improving my Japanese, meeting hot girls, etc. Nope. Gotta become a billionaire. Gotta become the next Mark Zuckerberg. Instead, what did I get? A lot of stress, deaths in my family, no relationships, a belly and just general unhappiness.

That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy myself. But I think I could’ve spent more time on those things rather than trying to blindly build websites without focus or ignoring things around me, I’d probably be in a lot better position now emotionally at the very least.

If I were to bring this all back to Mist of Pandaria, my main thing is that I will enjoy it at my own pace. It’s one of the simple things in my life that I can continue to enjoy. I don’t need to do hard core raiding nor arenas because it’s not about measuring my dick size. I know how big it gets and how it feels when it gets big and that’s the most important thing for me.

Why We Need to Move to Micro Thinking Rather Than Macro

Something hit me the other day when a friend of mine sent me an article about the way Japan’s economic situation in reality is better than people feel. The article in question was more of an economics one and uses numbers to paint a rosy picture. However, the article itself is flawed in its approach by using data and looking at long term projections rather than anecdotal aspects. As a result, I feel that this type of thinking, viewing “big picture” elements is actually hurting the world and people. This is why I believe we need to move from the “big picture” thinking, or macro elements, to micro elements, which is geared towards individuals and very concrete depictions of reality.

My belief is that the world and humans are by nature fascinated more with macro or large scale as opposed to the micro elements. Macro implies epic, vastness, empires, massive progress. However, I believe that such lofty thinking puts too much emphasis at such a level of abstraction that it ignores the tiny cracks that slowly whittle away at this superstructure notion of thought.

Going back to the article on Japan’s economics, I feel that based on conversations with numerous friends that there’s still quite a bit of problems that can subvert empirical models. For instance, many foreigners that I know are trying to leave Japan. The work environment, high layoffs, job moves, language barrier and radiation especially are all elements that are making Japan an extremely unattractive place to be. Once the foreigner workforce leaves Japan, other markets will begin to prosper and make Japan even more unattractive for the short term investor.

Another example is corporate structures and “too big to fail” systems like banks. Having worked at Citigroup in the past, I came to realize that companies like that end up having problems of progress because of all the regulations and internal bureaucracy. Citigroup’s original vision was akin to the portal concepts of the late 1990’s internet like Yahoo. The problems in attempting to grow to a monolithic structure is that Citigroup faced all the regulations from each business unit. So the banking aspect would be forced to be compliant equal to their equities side as a result of their Solomon Smith Barney acquisition. The net effect was the sheer tar pit engendered, unending levels of paper trails, nightmarish audits and a general lack of transparency at all levels. While the vision was ideal, in practice it was a disaster.

Next we come to countries like the US which is facing turmoil on numerous fronts. The biggest two issues are economics and ideologies. Within the US, there is an even greater fracturing as states themselves like California find unenviable problems attempting to govern their own budgets. Yet when you drill down to some of the lowest levels like handling someone with disability like my mom, the government demonstrates that it’s out of touch because people like my mom become just a number to them.

Yet we face this as individuals too. I’m certain many people out there prefer to look at life from the 10000 perch from an ivory tower. We like to plan long term, believing that some day we too will be the traditional rock star on stage with our babes, fancy cars, heroin parties and Walk of Fame moments. Of course, reality is that most of us never will accomplish any of that (although most probably will attempt to live like that and end up broke, dead or in jail).

This is why as a species we must move away from this train of thought. It’s deadly and impractical. We need to look at things in front of us, deal with those problems immediately and concentrate on what’s around us. If we don’t, we end up crashing into a bus that blindsides us from out of nowhere. I think Yoda said it wisest when he warned Luke Skywalker about his little futile expedition in trying to save his friends; more specifically how Luke needed to worry about everything right now and what’s in front of him rather than looking to the future. Of course, Luke got his hand cut off from being impulsive so Yoda was right after all.

But like what Yoda was saying, we need to look at things right here in front of us. Focus on smaller things with more details to really figure out better solutions. I’m a huge fan of Jean-Jaques Rousseau on his view of socialism. His belief was to focus on smaller communities as the intimacy between people would prevent hostility and create understanding. Large systems lack transparency because of the numerous levels of elements that clutter things. In turn, people quickly become confused or overwhelmed (this is why divide-and-conquer solutions are popular in programming)

I think if society starts focusing on the concrete problems in people’s daily lives as opposed to get rich pyramid schemes, which seem all too common, things will gradually improve. We need a stable system in place before we can start worrying about the future.

Marriage and Why I Haven’t Gone Through It

I’m going to turn 38 this coming week and yet I have no one special in my life as a partner. Some people will tell me that I need to find someone soon or that I face the consequence of being single the rest of my life. Others have told me that when I’m ready, I’ll be ready and will manage to find someone.

Still, I don’t think a lot of people understand why I haven’t gotten married or haven’t really pursued marriage. First, the people I have liked in the past got married and probably weren’t the best option for me. Second, I’ve seen a lot of marriages fail or have problems, including my own parents’. It’s given me huge warning signs that have made me extra cautious and forced me to not rush things. I feel as though most people end up getting married for the wrong reasons, sometimes (and primarily) because there’s a lot of unnecessary social pressure to do so. I mean, I have my own conspiracy theories of how governments put pressure via the media, especially in 1st world countries like America or Japan for people to get married and have families. Obviously, it’s a productivity and economic issue for the most part, but to me that’s not a great reason as an individual to force themselves to go out and get married.

Having seen so enough relationships and marriages fail, I concluded that most issues in a relationship occurs over money. Tensions always arise over money, which pretty much changes how people, who are normally in love, perceive each other over time. The same initial feelings are no longer shared over time when bills that cannot be paid, etc. start to creep up. So for myself, I felt that being financially stable is paramount prior to committing myself to a full time relationship.

Another thing is that I simply haven’t found anyone really worth my time and effort. That might sound a little egotistical but let me discuss this in detail. The idea of marriage is about commitment and is a partnership. Knowing full well in advance that the person you will marry most likely will stay with you the rest of your life means that you will somehow have to endure each other no matter what. It’s more than just a physical relationship too. It’s the mental and emotional aspects that people tend to forget.

For myself, I want a true soul mate. It’s rare finding that person who feels equally invested into you and vice versa. I consider myself somewhat “difficult” in that I am multifaceted and have certain complexities that require a great amount of patience to deal with. I have a maturity issue and have grown comfortable with my personality such that I slowly become less willing to compromise on aspects as I grow older.

Try telling that to someone you meet on the street and see how they’ll take it. It’s not easy. The other person has their issues too. They have their needs and wants and own complexities. As someone who can put themselves in other people’s shoes, I fully understand how someone might be hesitant to deal with a personality like mine, which is why I describe the thing I want most is a “soul mate.”

Of course, everyone has their fantasy partner. I mean, if Charlize Theron or Norika Fujiwara randomly walked up to me on the street and asked me to marry them, I wouldn’t hesitate. At the same time, there’s going to be a moment where we’ll probably clash. In my situation, I’d have everything to lose while they could just walk away and find someone else just as easily. So I have to be realistic to a degree as well.

The other thing about me is that outside of my mom’s issue, I’m comfortable being single. I often hear about my married friends and how much independence they give up. Certainly, I miss out on many aspects of marriage, but the independence thing is one I’d certainly have to give up. With the right person, I don’t think I’d have to worry about this aspect as much. I enjoy having freedom so the person who I’d marry I feel would want the same thing for themselves.

At any rate, I don’t take the idea of marriage lightly. Being in a relationship is one thing but it’s not to the level of commitment as marriage. The stakes are just too high to throw out the word so casually.

Conspiracies, Illuminati and Bullshit

I have a fascination with conspiracy theories as it relates to fictional ideas for good storytelling. I have a huge problem though with conspiracy theories when it comes to facts and what the authors of many documentaries want on their agenda. Today, I wanted to share my thoughts on that aspect as it relates to the so-called Illuminati and why I think that it’s utter bullshit.

My primary problem in the conspiracy theorists/theories is simply proof. When you read the theories, there’s just too many loopholes despite how interesting they may sound. The big one for me is idea of lizard people controlling us. If you watch enough videos on the subject, all too often you’ll encounter a silly image of the Bushes or other people of high power in a video tape recording showing “lizard-like eyes.” Often it’s the same video on repeat. Obviously, with the video editing software and Photoshop these days, anyone can doctor an image or video. It really takes more than a single silly frame to convince someone like me that these people are in fact “lizards.”

But it gets better. Nutcases like David Icke (whom I’m even embarrassed mentioning here) further rationalize that these beings are extra dimensional. So these videos only demonstrate periods where they reveal themselves. For anyone with any miniscule amount of common sense, you’ll see the red herring in this argument. It really is all based on faith in this case. Faith in a single individual’s belief system that we need to pay XXXX amount to get into a seminar.

However, where’s the real proof? If this was such a huge deal, why not do something realistic and grab around 10000 people, charge the Bush ranch and skin the guy? I’m not advocating murdering the former president, but how else is someone like a David Icke going to vindicate his premise? If we were being controlled by these beings, wouldn’t it make sense to create a mass rally and directly assault someone and bring them to justice? Why not show some balls and do something rather than setting up these useless conferences to show how bad cocaine affects the brain?

Next let’s talk about Satanism, the occult and UFOs in connection with the Illuminati. Much of the conspiracies centered around Satanism and the Illuminati. They attempt to connect certain figures like Aleister Crowley, Jack Parsons, the Church of Scientology, the Bavarian Illuminati, etc. with Satanic rituals. Some of the more infamous scenes in videos involve the Skull and Bones society at Yale initiating people, the nuclear bomb test, Bohemian Grove, etc. Also, they talk about the symbols, numerology and connection with rock music to hypnosis and other forms of Satanism.

However, something struck me the other night as I watched a rather long (and often redundant) youtube video on the subject matter. With regard to UFOs and alien beings, these people now are defining these extraterrestrials as “demons” on top of saying that UFOs are themselves living entities. While we might not ever find out the later aspect, the thing that made me suspicious is how the subject of UFOs and aliens went from something potentially scientific to something religious in nature.

Here’s what I think as I examine more and more of these conspiracy theories. There’s a small scale conspiracy behind them as well. The people behind them I believe are actually religious fanatics who are attempting to bend people’s wills towards their own agenda through scare tactics. The rhetoric, repeated nature of certain elements, use of religious iconography, etc. all are an attempt to pray upon our innate fears of the unknown. However, this smells like your typical zealot’s propensity for jingoism.

The thing to me at the end of the day is that you need proof. The problem with conspiracy theories is that they simply just remain theories. Fiction at best but still intangible and hence unbelievable. Stringing up video clips, taking historical moments out of context, etc. are actions anyone can do in order to create their own agenda to propagate for the masses.

But so what?

That’s the biggest thing for me. These people justify their own existence as “creating awareness.” However, I think it’s just a scam to get people to buy their books, listen to their radio, click on ads, etc. Websites devoted to these topics often are crude with tons of ads and a credit card payment option. So why would people who advocate moving away from a single currency system (e.g. credit cards) employ them on their site? It’s such a hypocrisy to me.

And the awareness thing is just not enough. What these people have done is accuse too many on an enormous scale of some extremely serious crimes. If that were the case, again why not rally hundreds of thousands of people to their cause and storm places like Washington or the Queen of England, etc.? Why simply sit behind a microphone and yell at people in the hope that they get attention for their silly cause? If it’s legality that they fear, then it’s all the more reason to do something radical on a mass scale. You have to become a martyr and demonstrate why a system is poorly conceived in order to fix it.

But again I think these people are all show. It’s just entertainment and profit for them. Now, don’t get me wrong. I like listening to them. It gives me some interesting ideas for my own fiction. But their logic is so flawed that it actually repels me from doing anything.

That said, I would like to say that I do believe there are conspiracies going on in the world but on a far smaller, more obvious and less structured scale. And the most obvious conspiracy is this: everyone alive has an agenda, which simply is to be on top. That’s what we’re built for, how Darwin would explain us. It doesn’t get any easier than that to understand. As a living species, we’ll do anything to propagate and maintain ourselves as the status quo.

So from a conspiracy point of view, it’s just business as usual. The people on top want money because that’s how society has accepted in terms of a system of control. So groups like the FDA, farmers, fast food industry, insurance, banks, pharmaceuticals, medical, nursing, etc. are all part of that ecosystem to maintain themselves. Just like the NRA, military, CIA, FBI, Homeland Security, TSA, Boeing, etc. are part of their own ecosystem to fund weapons.

The thing is that if you’re not part of any of these ecosystems, you’re essentially fucked. It’s because there’s no support center for you and you’re just being manipulated all the time. But no matter what if you a part of a system, you have to deal with it on some level.

This is where I want to get back into the whole conspiracy theory thing. In the video, they used JFK as the last “true” president in the US, who wasn’t pre-selected by this group. There’s one particular quote that stood out mentioning how people can “truly be free.” But what does that mean? That seems to be such a lie in itself.

So let’s put this into practical terms. Let’s talk about “true freedom.” Let’s say these conspiracy people are correct and we beat the living shit out of some lizards and extra dimensional beings such that they high tail it. Then what? Are we going to suddenly move back into a mud based society where we’re dancing and smoking pot (i.e. the 60’s hippy movement?) What happens when some jack ass fucks a girl I think is hot? By “true freedom” that implies I could go over and kill that asshole, right? If that happens, then wouldn’t the girl grab her gun guaranteed by our sense of “true freedom” and just blow my brains out for revenge? I mean this will go on and on and on.

True freedom to me is just anarchy. But as you can see if we allowed true anarchy to reign supreme, we probably wouldn’t last long as a species. Don’t give me some stupid hippy “but we should love one another” speech. As long as we have finite resources on this planet, we will remain competitive as a species. I can’t suddenly see the girl I want to fuck going, “Okay, I’ll open my legs for you now and fuck this marriage thing!” without some severe consequence.

People might go, “Well then we’ll have to define how to be civilized and we’ll just need to get some really smart people to figure out how to manage resources.” Well, isn’t that what governments, businesses and economists are for? And what about the people who have to cook the burgers, prepare the meat, kill the cows, manage the crops, etc. You’re telling me that people willingly at some point will just start handling that because it’s fun? No way, people are going to be on the streets fucking and smoking hash.

Let’s put it this way. Yes, there will always be intelligent people in this world who can and want to be above this primordial state. But at some level, we’re still this primitive species. That’s why we like entertainment. We enjoy the dumbass kids who jump off of roofs, split their ankles, get powerbombed on their necks, etc. because we’re fucked up. That’s the real truth. No one likes admitting that they’re fucked up because it’s a hard pill to swallow.

Here’s my belief beyond the small scale conspiracy thing. People just plain suck. The reason why we’re in a state of being is that we’re horribly managed and there’s just too many people that creates far too many variables to deal with. No single person has the correct answer to create the perfect society and that’s just how it is. However, everyone has their own vision of what that perfect society ought to be. That’s where the real conflict comes into play.

If you look at the pros vs cons regarding the so-called one world agenda that these conspiracy theorists propose, you have to really think hard if it’s such a bad thing. One currency? Hmmm…the problem that currencies in the world just don’t make sense and that values in every country differ so drastically? One government….well, if it guarantees certain rights to everyone is that so bad? How about the notion of so-called control over people? Well, let’s face it. We suck. So if we’re allowed to take control of our own destinies, do you think that most people will be in school studying night and day to create rockets to the moon?

So the bigger question is what about me? What about Keith? What is his stake in all of this? I simply don’t care. I don’t want to be part of either side. Both sides suck no matter what. I couldn’t care less what happens to people. I’d prefer to be part of the Illuminati and get a nice handshake, have beautiful women surrounding me, nice home, food all the time just to sell my neighbor and biological family to some slaughter house to feed the so-called lizard people. But I suppose if that were to have occurred, I wouldn’t be writing this and I’d be having sex with Charlize Theron and Norika Fujiwara in a three way on a nightly basis while plotting how to take guns away from some rednecks in Texas.

Seeing that hasn’t happened and probably won’t happen because I probably lack some gene, I’ll be content sitting in a dark room, watching videos, getting ideas for stories and jacking it.

 

 

12-21-2012: The Great Disappointment

It’s a week now with 12-21-2012 having come and gone. Apparently, we all physically survived the imminent end of the Mayan Calendar, what people for the last few years had been predicting as the apocalypse. Once again, prophecies were not fulfilled. Despite all of this hoopla, many people were lured into the belief that the physical end of days were actually upon us.

Why is that?

I believe that the truth lies in that our world sucks. Plain and simple. Just like people wanted “change” when Obama first got elected president, people wanted something to happen. Anything. People will always believe what they want to hear or see. But they still want this utopian/dystopian fantasy to manifest because our world sucks.

All the interpretations of what apocalypse meant had varied so drastically. For instance, the classic interpretation was that some mysterious planet X (also called Nebiru) would show up out of nowhere and wipe us out. Some say that Nebiru also caused the dinosaurs’ extinction. People conjectured that our lack of funds in having more eyes in the sky would prevent us from seeing Nebiru showing up.

Other interpretations were that some alien race would appear on our doorstep and annihilate us or take control. Something like Stargate the movie. Maybe they would conjure a black hole or wormhole that would guide a meteor or earth-like planet to show up.

Of course, we also saw the movie 2012’s vision where catastrophe would strike as a result of the earth going through tsunamis, earthquakes, etc. While there have been catastrophes in recent years, it seems more like the norm but not as a result of a particular date.

At any rate, there were many who used the event to celebrate. Of course, once the smoke cleared the other interpretations of that date began propagating. Now, it was more just simple mathematical error or the arrival of a new calendar. Either way, it’s all hokey pokey nonsense, business as usual.

When I talked briefly with my friend about the situation, he then brought up another event for 2013 that’s now predicted via a computer. So here we go again. Placing our bets on a particular day. What happens when once again that day comes and goes? What does this all prove?

For me, it proves that humans just rationalize what they want to because we’re all miserable. We put all our faith in ideologies and irrational constructs by taking coincidences and putting them together as opposed just recognizing/admitting that things suck and we just have to accept the cards dealt in front of us.

Personally, I wanted to look at the event differently. Everyone has some sort of doubts, myself included. You want to take certain mental precautions in case something does happen. In my case, I felt that in knowing the actual day when the world was supposed to end, I decided to treat myself a little better. Maybe enjoy a few things I normally wouldn’t because I tend to worry too much about the future. In short, I decided to live for the present.

Is just living for the present the only way to live? Of course not. You do want to plan for some things like having children, a family, buying a home, your retirement, etc. At the same time, you can’t predict the future. You never know when some great piece of fortune can strike you one day or misfortune hits you the next. My life is a perfect example of this constant battle.

Yet this whole experience just reinforced what I’ve had a hard time learning over the past few years. You can’t dream the future up and feel entitled that it should happen for you. You have to look what’s right in front of you and deal with that. It’s a hard pill to swallow especially if you’re like me (someone who is a hopeless romantic).

So from now on, I’m just going to do what I’ve been doing with most of the Big Media: ignore it. It’s just noise that makes for speculation and entertainment. Unfortunately, it’s negative entertainment or what I call anxiety entertainment.