Another Friday night, another AEW Dynamite review. Thought this show was stronger than last week’s but I did feel it still needs a lot of work.
- Christian Cage vs Angelico – Matt Hardy outsourced Angelico’s talents to try to get some revenge against Christian. Really this match just allows Angelico to wrestle on TV with a veteran who is willing to work and give back to the talent. Angelico showed good offense and it wasn’t just a spot show. Christian has good pacing for modern wrestling. Christian won decisively with his finisher and not unexpectedly, Hardy had Angelico’s partner, Jack Evans, assault Christian, which provided a distraction so Hardy could get a Twist of Fate on Christian. Jungleboy makes the save but again he’s in two programs which makes me believe he won’t win the title against Kenny.
- Cody Rhodes comes out for an interview with Arn Anderson and the introduction of Brock Anderson, Arn’s son. Neither Arn nor Brock get a single second to say a word, even though they got a nice appraisal. Arn looks very proud of his son and Brock looks eerily like Arn. QT Marshall comes out to interrupt the interview because Aaron Solow and QT will face Cody and Brock next week. QT just complains and I can’t stand him. Brock gets his chance to show some offense when QT takes a cheap shot against Arn, which causes a flood of referees to come out. This interview did nothing. Really wish that Arn could have spoken rather than Cody or at least have Cody only get in a small praise for Brock before letting Brock at least have a word or two. The pull apart was stupid because we didn’t get a chance to see Brock do anything special against QT to make us believe he has anything worth watching for next week. So just a massive waste of time.
- PAC, Penta El Zero Miedo, & Eddie Kingston vs. Young Bucks & Brandon Cutler – Cutler is a super jobber. You can’t take a goofball like him seriously in that stupid outfit. Match was the usual “you do your spots, I’ll do mine.” The Young Bucks remind me of an untalented version of Gino Hernandez and Gentleman Chris Adams back in their WCCW days; maybe they should do a hair vs hair match because they just look outright silly. Cutler jobs as expected leading to another post match beat down by Don’s boys as well as the Good Brothers coming in to help out. Frankie Kazarian makes the save. Guess, we’ll have yet another mega 4/5 way type of match in the future just to get as many people into a single match as possible. Also, for the record the Young Bucks have no clue how to wrestle as heels; they might have cheap tactics but their style doesn’t lend well to being heels. Worse yet because they are the tag team champions, being in this stupid 4/5 man feud means that we won’t see them defending their titles against another team while this goes on.
- The Pinnacle come out for an interview – Dax is a good interviewer. Cash should let Dax do all the talking. They met their major cuss word quota in. Too many people got their turn to talk. Why? This just rambled. Let Tully, Dax and MJF do all the talking. Not everyone should be given a microphone. Jericho, of course, interrupts (like every interview segment does for god knows what reason) then goes about destroying the Pinnacle’s limo with the help of the Inner Circle. Think about that. Some idiot (* cough * Tony Khan * cough *) spent money on a fucking Limo to be destroyed. What a fucking waste! I was legitimately upset over this. There’s people around this country who barely can afford to pay their rent, out of work, working multiple jobs and skipping meals because inflation is out of control while the price of food itself has skyrocketed to unreasonable levels. Then this jackoff decides hey lets spend money to destroy a limo because I can. What does this give him? I would’ve loved taking one of the sledgehammers and smashing his smug little face in. Even if his skull was caved in, I would’ve kept hammering until not even blood looked like blood. Fuck Tony Khan.
And for that matter, fuck those dumb ass fans in the arena for chanting “This is awesome!” This isn’t awesome. It’s a fucking waste of money. There’s a reason why COVID-19 had become such a blight in the world and idiots like these who just are too stupid to quarantine or mask are the enablers. Hell, because this is Florida, they enabled that prick of a governor into office. I really hope that events like these cause a massive spread and lead to more deaths in Florida and that AEW is forced to temporarily be shut down or sued as a result of negligence until they get someone with brains to manage that promotion. Shit like this pisses me off badly because it shows how little the people in charge value money, customers or anything really beyond their own egos.
- Sting and Darby Allin – Darby answers the Ethan Page/Scorpio Sky challenge. Darby wants Sting to stay home so he can prove something. Better yet Darby tells Sting he isn’t stupid. No, Darby is a straight out retard austistic boi. Trust me. In 5-10 years, that kid will be crippled or worse. The worst thing a face can do is look even dumber. If Page/Sky lose, then this whole thing will look pretty awful. If Allin loses and gets his ass seriously kicked, he’ll look like a super moron. No one wins. Truly horrific booking.
- Evil Uno vs Miro – TNT Title on the line. Miro is clearly the best thing in AEW at the moment. Just before Evil Uno gets a promo to actually have a voice rather than being the jobber going into this match (because we all know he isn’t winning). Most likely, Evil Uno got the match because he’s friends behind the scenes with Miro (check out the Among Us videos on Miro’s YouTube where Uno plays against Miro and other AEW people). It was a good promo because for a second, you almost could believe in Uno. But again, he’s like another version of Shark Boy with that stupid mask. Either way, this was the match of the night for me. Dark Order came out to give support, Miro broke their hearts even though they helped give Uno a lot of morale support. Best part was that Miro had removed the turnbuckle then bumped his head against it to temporarily get dazed which allowed Uno to seem to have a brief chance. Wasn’t exactly a squash but the match made sense. Miro is so good because he looks like a champ, wrestles like a champ and is unique compared to everyone else in AEW at the moment in what he does.
I think if/when Lana/CJ comes into AEW (which I think is very likely), which should be in about 3 months or so, Miro will have really established himself both as the TNT champion and solidifying his identity. If that’s the case, then she can still be by his side but not be a distraction while going to the women’s division.
- Andrade El Idolo video package. Andrade is going to be a mega star here based on how they’re presenting him thus far. People are saying he should do a drug cartel boss gimmick. Not sure if the “Face of Latinos” will be a good gimmick for him. Would’ve preferred him being just “The Idol” or “Idol of Latinos” instead. Charlotte must be super proud.
- Goofball, I mean Kenny Omega and Don Callis come out for an interview with Schiavone. Kenny Omega supposedly is in bad condition. Not surprising considering his age and his style. Jungleboy comes out to retort Omega. Honestly, I don’t want Jungleboy to win this quickly but Omega needs time off. He should re-invent himself so that he can have a longer career. Not sure if he’s that smart though.
Jungleboy appears very over here especially because he gets a tremendous response from his music. However, the question is whether or not outside of Florida, can Jungleboy still receive the same reactions? The company will be resuming touring in July in Texas and North Carolina. Will those regions share the same sentiment towards these wrestlers as the Florida based audience since the Florida based audience have effectively been trained to behave in a certain fashion?
Anyway, Young Bucks make a save when Jungleboy almost gets his submission finisher on Omega. So I’m guessing this is supposed to set up for a three way in the future? But Young Bucks are already involved with Kingston, Pac, etc. Why not let Jungleboy have this moment?
- Jade Cargrill gets a promo with a fake lawyer figure in Mark Sterling – Mark speaks business goof gibberish which means nothing except to try and make Jade seem like she’s high maintenance. They fuck up her image by saying she has a family to feed so she’s not exactly a heel there. The thing is that her husband is bigger than her from my understanding so why bother to wrestle? They explicitly talk about the catchphrase which is stupid because insider terminology should be kept to the insiders and makes Mark Sterling look like a bigger goof. Jade just comes across as someone I wouldn’t want to market because her so-called catchphrase isn’t cool and advertiser friendly given George Carlin’s Seven Words you’re not supposed to say on TV (although it really isn’t listed, you might as well include it here just because it doesn’t apply to a dog). At any rate, bad words are just an obvious desperate ploy to make someone sound cool but in reality doesn’t help the person except make the promotion seem uncreative and the talent lame.
- Scorpio Sky/Ethan Page promo – They used the word “catchphrase” again. Just stop it. Stop acting like jabronies trying to be cool by seeming smart. It just sounds cheap.
- Lance Archer vs Chandler Hopkins – Short squash. Why didn’t this belong to Dark or Elevation? Chandler is a nobody. If you’re doing a squash with a nobody, relegate it to Dark or Elevation where the unknowns can be seen. Waste of TV time. I suppose they needed to compromise Lance’s TV time because of the previous worthless promo squeezed in.
- The Wingmen get a promo – Why? They all look like jobbers especially JD Drake who looks like he works at Lowes. The other two outside of Nemeth look like they belong in a late 70s TV show as background staff. I guess Orange is working a new program. Why not relegate this promo to Dark? (Note: again more of why Lance’s match was just 40 seconds apparently)
- Nyla Rose vs Leyla Hirsch – I didn’t mind Leyla getting some TV time since this might be one of her first non-Dark/Elevation matches and she’s been slowly moving up. They replayed Nyla disrupting Britt Baker’s celebration. Honestly, Nyla should’ve just eaten all the burgers rather than tossed them. That would’ve been a sight. I still think having her challenge Britt is stupid. Only person that they should be building for a match against Britt (outside of the abused Hikaru Shida) is Thunder Rosa. If they’re trying to have Britt turn face, then it’s a real round about way of doing it.
Leyla tried to do a few high flying moves including a moonsault. Really shouldn’t be her gimmick. Also, looked to go for a super frankensteiner but Nyla caught her and gave her a super power bomb for the win. That one looked impressive and Leyla was small enough for Nyla to be able to do power moves and look like a beast. Match felt long mostly to give Leyla TV exposure and to work in front of a crowd while setting Nyla up for Britt Baker, which I really don’t agree with.
- Britt Baker gets a back stage interview with Tony Schiavone. Reba or whatever is prop for prop’s sake just like the nose was one for Matt Damon’s character in Ocean’s 13. Britt is over because she has nailed most of her character down as an arrogant person. But again is she supposed to be a face or heel? She kinda buried Shida unfortunately in their “feud”. You can’t even call it that because Shida had no chance without either a manager to speak for her and not given much opportunity outside of one decent title defense against Tay Conti. They were just warming Britt up to be overpushed since there really isn’t anyone else besides Serena Deeb in the division and Thunder Rosa that are established, consistent or good.
- Brian Cage/Powerhouse Hobbs vs Hangman Page/10 – Seriously, why does Cage bring that stupid FTW title around? Will he defend it? Is Page getting a push again since he got such a huge pop on the previous PPV? Taz joins commentary. I’m kinda hoping Team Taz breaks up so that Taz moves permanently on commentary. I like the tension in commentary between Jim Ross and the color people. Brian Cage does a standing moonsault press. Why? He’s big. Why does he need to do a standing moonsault press? Why not just a splash? People in AEW need to learn just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
Ricky Starks, of course, comes down to ring side with Hook. Again, stupid move. Hook gets TV time. You know what their presence means.
Cage is wrestling like a luchadore in this match. Why? He’s a big man. It looks silly. He does a head scissors and a 619. I hope that Hobbs doesn’t turn out to be like Cage. He’s got a good unique look but is still green. Belt gets thrown in Cage refuses again to use it, gets slapped by Starks, who seems like an MJF light in the making, then Cage goes after the two leaving Hobbs by himself.
Babyfaces get a weak looking win on Hobbs with Taz crying out about Cage abandoning his tag partner. This looked completely ass backwards since the baby faces needed Cage to leave. 10 got the pin fall to redeem the Dark Order after Miro made them look like chumps. So is 10 up next against Miro? I still think he’s a chump. Hangman Page might be the one to beat Miro for that TNT title. That said, I think Miro should keep it for a year at least. Or if he loses, immediately get into the world title picture.
Either way, slightly better paced but a lot of frustrating things going on here. They really don’t know how to get a big pop with the way people are used in all the interference and brawls. Also, their interviews just are all over the place. Miro should just keep doing whatever he’s doing because he is the best piece on the show. I’m slightly dreading the sit down between JR and Andrade next week. But at least they aren’t forcing him to wrestle this quickly. I prefer slow burns that really prepare people for guys coming in. Jericho is phat and needs to get off the egotrip while Tony Khan needs to learn the value of money. It really sickens me how they abuse their money.