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Game of Thrones: Silicon Valley Character Cross Over

Sometimes at night when you’re wide awake and trying to put yourself to sleep, you get really odd questions that pop in your head, which are influenced by various youtube videos you might watch in passing time to ease your insomnia. For myself, I sometimes might toss in a video about Game of Thrones such as a past Comic Con. One thing I noticed about most Comic Con type of videos is that the vast majority of the audience ask the worst and most banal questions to the cast. So I decided to ask a hypothetical question on this blog that I found more focused and interesting: which Game of Thrones main cast characters would do well if they were tossed into a Silicon Valley TV show-like setting?

The parameters for this situation is that each character would be able to bring over a single backpack worth of items from their home world and that they must be a primary character (not necessarily a viewpoint character) and cannot be completely unnatural like a White Walker. Bran Stark can be allowed despite having Green Seer and Worging powers similar to Jon Snow and other Stark family members. Not to mention that without them, this question can become somewhat dull.

My own answer ended up going like this:

Samwell Tarly

Of everyone in the show, I figured that Samwell’s bookish interest would actually turn into a massive plus in a modern setting. While there still exist bullying everywhere, if he were put in say San Francisco or somewhere in the states with reasonable education, I can easily see him excelling in school, becoming valedictorian and attending a spot like a Stanford, MIT, Cal Berkeley, etc. and eventually building his own app that might eventually take off and turn him into a rockstar programmer worth billions up in the Valley.

Yet like his persona in the world of Game of Thrones, Samwell probably would be easily manipulated and bullied by marketing people, vulture capitalists and lawyers and would still require a good side kick to help guide him through the harsh climate of corporate America en route to building a highly successful company.

Tyrion Lannister

Tyrion has a little more street smarts than Samwell but his main problem in a modern setting might be hubris. It’s hard to say where Tyrion might end up in the Valley because I see him as less hands on when it comes to programming and more of a potential leader. While height still helps determine ones success, it isn’t a weakness in the PC era of American life and there will not be any limits imposed on his physical stature that his mind cannot easily overcome.

One thought is that either Tyrion would become a CEO to say Samwell’s corporation, a well known litigator or possibly a business development type that knows how to handle money and people, thus managing operations and possibly the finances for the company (especially as the former Hand of the King and Master of Coin). His sharp wit will allow him to pick things up quickly where sheer academics might not be readily available.

Lastly, given the parameters of being able to pull some of his fortune over, he could convert gold from his family’s vault into a large fortune since real gold still has global value. So another aspect is that he could also become a major angel investor into Samwell’s business.

Cersei Lannister

Cersei still has her looks going for her so in the environment of Silicon Valley she has the potential to use her “other weapons” to her advantage. As a woman, she might still not have as much power as she’d like but definitely far more equality than what she was given in her previous existence. Pulling some of her fortune from her family’s vault will allow her to maintain a relatively high life style and she either will become a socialite or an investor/partner with a major firm.

She may encounter issues though in lacking personal drive to learn on her own compared to Samwell and Tyrion. Because she has a very entitled mentality, she would most likely use up her wealth quickly and not recover. So to maintain her position, she will find the highest paid CEOs and try to get into their beds. In that situation, she would have it very easy for the most part but probably end up with someone possessing a few hundred million, not really the three comma club member type.

Jon Snow

Because he knows nothing I predict that he might end up as a cop or in the military. However, he’ll find out quickly that neither have much honor even compared to the Night’s Watch. After unsuccessfully serving the military, Jon Snow returns to attend vocational school where he learns the trade of a plumber. Samwell will eventually just hire him as a routine security guard.

Sansa Stark

Does not belong in Silicon Valley and moves to Hollywood where her princess mentality, etiquette, ruthless mind manipulation, youth and beauty easily turn her into a super star for Disney. Gradually, Miley Cyrus gets booted from the entertainment industry and Sansa ends up taking her place.

Daenerys Targaryen

She does NOT get to bring her dragons because they’re too big and do not meet the rules. But she does get to cross over into the world. While her accumulated wealth as a queen does bring her some comfort level, she has a difficult time understanding that she really is no queen on earth and gets laughed out of Silicon Valley.

However, she does have a strong heart and ends up going back to school where she attends Stanford University and studies real political science. At first, she’s determined to become a politician in the senate but decides that politics at that level really aren’t her bread and butter. Instead, she becomes a project manager and grows into the role of COO (chief operations officer) in Sam’s corporation.

The thing is that all the engineers find her demands to be quite oppressive and rebel in the constant late nights, leading to a high turn over rate and a short term outsourcing dilemma. Sam decides that Dany really isn’t a good fit in project management and simply makes her head of HR where she finally discovers her niche in creating policies for equality, does a great job increasing the number of female engineers as well as overall work place diversity and boosts morale in generating a more family friendly environment with excellent daycare for mothers with children, paid meals, unlimited PTO, massages and RPG raid night on WoW.

Ser Davos Seaworth

Despite being mostly illiterate, Ser Davos is highly motivated and with help from Dany, he receives proper night courses to get his AA degree. Eventually, he gains aptitude for data centers and servers because it’s all hands-on work and involves security.

When Sam moves all his applications into the cloud, Ser Davos switches to become the DevOps manager. Usually, people end up finding him sleeping by his monitor or playing Hearthstone on his iPad.

Jamie Lannister

Jamie and Cersei end up different zones. Jamie discovers Wikipedia and learns the biological hazards of incests, which makes him sick to his stomach. After that he stays far away from Cersei and ends up blocking her number.

Without his right hand and lacking duties to a king, Jamie ends up becoming a bartender when someone helps give him a robotic arm and another person shows him the trade. He ends up working at a TGIF near Sam’s corporation where he serves discounted drinks to Sam’s employees. Also, he ends up falling in love with a very nerdy girl and they end up living a very humble life in an overpriced one bedroom studio with the girl being an Android developer of an obscure application and he sticks with his daily routine.

Arya Stark

She calms down considerably and is placed into a foster home. She still gets into fights but learns discipline once a very kind family take her in. Although she continues to have tendencies of wildness, she becomes enthralled with hacking systems. Over time, she becomes a security expert and is hired by Sam to provide ethical hacking for his systems.

Ramsay Snow

Doesn’t last very long and is caught by the police after trying to mug and rape a woman in daily light. Not realizing that his father and his forces protected him for the most part, Ramsay does very poorly in prison and is sentenced to life.

Hodor

Becomes a vocalist of a death metal band that tours Eastern Europe. They do very well and their stuff is downloaded off youtube to the point that they beat that Psi guy.

Bran Stak

Never got out of the tree.

Brienne of Tarth

Joins the US military and becomes a high ranking officer. Does very well for herself before retiring and eventually joining NASA and becoming an astronaut.

Theon Greyjoy

They sew it back on! But his mind is gone and he ends up going homeless while chanting reek on the streets of Berkeley. On a positive note, he shares a LOT of pot with all the people on South side so don’t feel so bad for his ending. In truth, he goes quite happy and painlessly.

Lord Varys

Ends up working for the KGB, NSA, FBI, CIA, Yakuza, Italian/Sicilian/Jewish mafias and various other government agencies. Realizes that he was just better off working as a network engineer at Facebook.

Littlefinger

While chaos still can be a ladder, the ladder just is too big for him in this world and his chaos is just too small. South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone end up hiring him to replace Trey for Professor Chaos when Trey gets a case of bronchitis.

Melisandre

Has a horrible time adjusting to the world. There are no more visions in the fire, making her feel purposeless. Discovers me. We have shadow babies that seek out everyone on my list. I win.

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