The message isn’t wrong in spirit. But the change that they want won’t happen because the elite don’t have it in their play books. As far as I can interpret things, the primary change at hand is defunding the police. While the idea makes sense on paper, in practice I cannot see the elite ever truly doing what these protestors desire.

I’ve read some literature and ideas on how this should be handled. The essence is to get rid of the unions, which hold a great deal of power, de-militarize the police and break down the uses of police into separate scenario specific groups. Of course, there’s also increased accountability which includes less protections for police criminal actions, more transparency especially with regards to body camera footage, etc.

Again, I find the dream of the change to be impossible simply because of the connection between the elite and the police. The elite simply want an unthinking force that they can mobilize at will to protect their ideologies, system and property. Hence, the training of police leave them into unthinking, unfeeling, robotized war dogs. Perhaps, not all of them are like this but it’s hard to justify the behavior of a group that won’t obey laws that they are meant to uphold.

Second, even besides the police, you still have the national guard and other types of enforcement. And even if you did not have those, there would be private militarized defense. If you ask me, the elite’s dream is something along the lines of Robocop where there is no emotion and complete obedience with overrides only programmable by those that control them.

So that’s why I feel the philosophical idea of defunding the police by itself is impractical. It’s like how any crook handles things; once they discover that the plot is foiled, they simply seek out another opportunity, which in this case would probably be private militarized police.

Next, the other major impractical aspect of these protests are the actual methodologies. To me the way these protests are handled is literally the definition of insanity. In short, every day these people return to rally in a “peaceful” protests but nothing changes. All it does is deplete resources on both sides. But the elite won’t ever budge because they do not want to ever relinquish control. Yet their resources and wills are unlimited whereas the protestors are limited.

The other major flaw is that a lot of these protests are pretty pathetic in terms of organization. They’ve gotten better at handling certain aspects of riot squads like tear gas. But they do little beyond washing their eyes out, throwing back the gas, etc. I suppose the best way to put is that the only people that they are hurting are themselves.

Now, the better way of handling the situation is to gather a monstrous mass of people then charge at the riot squads. From what I’ve seen, the riot squads themselves will never surpass the number of protestors if the protestors form a sturdy line. But a single, hard paced charge could easily overtake the riot squad.

The next step is the critical one: just like in role playing games, you always loot the armor and weapons. Didn’t people watch The Dark Knight Rises? Call me corny but an organized group of armed people are going to make the elite run off. You keep iterating on this aspect until you become the armed militia. That’s how you run a coup.

And if you don’t want to risk ones life, organize a car rally. Get semi’s or large vehicles to use as battering rams. Being on foot against other law enforcement puts you on equal ground.

Also, don’t assault things that just damage your own community. I saw a library burnt down in a livestream tonight, which made no sense. Similarly, small businesses that have nothing to do with the core issues. Target the stock exchange, mansions, government official homes, etc. Those are the ones that you want listening and be frightened into submission.

Next, hold a trial by the people. French Revolution style was to behead the corrupt rulers. The difference is that you can publicize these acts with video now to demonstrate the seriousness of the situation. I can guarantee you that the elite will listen then. If not they’ll simply run away to other hideouts but at least they’ll be out of this country.

The post These Protests Don’t Make A Lot of Sense For Me appeared first on Kontroversial Keith.

Although there are various stories and scandals that are ever present erupting periodically from the tabloids, nothing seems as profound as this one (except for perhaps the pedophile charges). This one essentially shows the type of power people in Hollywood that run their own empire to say the least and how their wealth, connections, etc. have allowed them to stay afloat and almost get away with murder.

The closest keen insight into the actual dealings might be a scene from The Godfather where we see Tom Hagen approach one of the producers from a fictional Hollywood company in trying to muscle the guy. In one of the cut scenes, we see the so-called favors that this man provides a young, underage actress, suggesting pedophilia where the girl examines Hagen from behind a closed door mysteriously.

All these closed door dealings have been shuttered for years by power players in Hollywood as we’re now hearing how people like Matt Damon have attempted to stifle reporters from blowing the true nature of these stories. Even today, there was a story about Rose McGowan having her Twitter account shutdown by Twitter itself for instigating certain comments. This seems like nothing more than Hollywood muscling their way to censor her.

Now, this really isn’t a Hollywood only issue. Many other issues face similar situations. I know the Japanese entertainment industry does this with Avex being one of the more notorious institutions. And it’s not just women but young men seeking to build their careers by any means necessary, which means thrusting themselves for some sick minded producer or whatnot.

But that’s part of the problem with this level of corruption in the entertainment industry. Many of these hopefuls allow themselves to be preyed upon by the powerful just to get a career push. Some were probably just ruthless in the way they climbed to the top. Swimming With Sharks hints a bit at how the reverse role can occur where a woman with good looks can fuck her way to the top. And doubtlessly many people probably had to pull favors to get their scripts read or a key role.

Right now, many actresses (and actors to a degree) are calling for a change within Hollywood but not really specifying what exactly needs to change. The most obvious thing is providing some sort of sexual harassment protection for people. But the way humans are, this aspect will never change.

The real change that needs to be implemented is that Hollywood itself needs to be torn down and rebuilt up from scratch. Its culture stinks of extreme decadence where it has existed in its own bubble for far too long. Greed and vanity infiltrate Hollywood where it’s hard to respect what’s left these days. It’s quite obvious that the actual art of entertainment has been lost to the allure of fame and fortune.

So at the core the values of fame and fortune need to be gutted systematically. Get rid of these things as positive and cast them in a negative light. Make it so that people make far less money and these big wig producers, etc. work for the people rather than the other way around. Get rid of the circle jerking via awards ceremonies, red carpets and other ego inflating aspects. Return to the average where so-called stars get their anonymity back.

I can’t really feel sorry for the people involved here. I feel that there really isn’t any “good guys” nor true “bad guys.” It’s more like an epidemic caused by a dying and dated system. If Hollywood were to suddenly disappear off this world, I feel as though I wouldn’t really miss it. Sure, I may not see the next Game of Thrones season but outside of a useless distraction, there really isn’t much to miss.

Also, I feel that the average person in general really won’t care. The problems in Hollywood seem inflated because the people in Hollywood tend to inflate things. Most of us will never get close to any of these people and to be frank, none of these people have ever done a damn thing for us. They may argue they’ve created entertainment for us, but if we’re consuming it, then we’re helping them as we’ve provided their livelihood. This whole situation is a conscious choice that they’ve made and they must deal with it.

The only reason why I wanted to blog about this incident is that I feel that the situation is blown out of proportion. But it’s being forced down our throats like many other non-existent issues celebrities and Hollywood end up making us deal with. The average person just is trying to survive so why should we waste that much more trying to fight someone else’s battle?

Someone might argue, well their problem IS your problem. How? These greedy, vain people think of themselves too fucking highly. These are the same assholes that have Beverly Hills and voted against allowing a Metro to be placed through them since it would inconvenience their million dollar mansions. These are the same assholes who act as puppets through their sponsored overlords to be their mouth pieces in attempting to get us to think as they do.

These people don’t give a fucking crap about us. They seriously don’t unless you agree like some stupid sycophant with them. I’m not saying all of them are like this. Just the big people. I do feel the people struggling on the lower rungs are more like us and I don’t mind them as much. But for those that did make it, I doubt it was raw skill on average.

The post Harvey Weinstein/Hollywood Thoughts appeared first on Kontroversial Keith.

My favorite thus far has been the strawberry, raspberry, blackberry smoothie. I add almonds and a multi-vitamin on top. I started on non-fat milk but recently I bought almond milk and will start transitioning over once I’m done with my current milk. The thing that I really like so far is that I haven’t wasted anything. In the past, I would buy strawberries, milk, etc. and most of it would just sit in my refrigerator. Then I would forget about them and let them rot, wasting my money and effort.

However, I freeze most of my fruits and I find that the milk and yogurt go pretty fast. Freezing fruits provides two neat benefits of 1) preserving them a little longer; 2) giving a nice, natural, icy texture to the smoothie. So far I’ve been devouring packs of these things and it’s made me quite happy.

Another thing is that I’ve read on some of the positive health effects of these things. Lowering cholesterol, improving short term memory, fighting cancer, fighting diabetes, preventing inflammation of the joints, etc. I will say that I can definitely feel the difference. My brain feels more awake, my joints aren’t as achy, my wrists isn’t as riddled with arthritis in the morning and I have more energy throughout the day.

Next, my plan is to try a few new fruits. I did try an apple recipe. While it tasted okay, it made my stomach feel weird so I never finished it. Instead, I’m going to see what I can do by combining apples with other fruits, perhaps oranges, berries and/or peaches. Also, I’m looking into an orange smoothie recipe. I’m missing bananas but I wanted to see how a basic orange smoothie with perhaps a few other fruits might go first before diving into bananas. When I was younger, I had issues digesting bananas so I’m a little cautious. But if all goes well, I’ll try to keep an open mind and give bananas another go.

One other item I’ve purchased recently was kale. According to all my friends, kale is something you cannot taste. Some people do it for the fiber. But after doing some research, I’ve come to realize that kale is great because of how it’s nutrient dense. So it might be like almonds where you gain a lot without the problem of dealing with a weird taste. So when I have a chance tomorrow, I’m going to throw a few leaves in.

Throughout these past two weeks, I learned that the important thing is to figure out what works for me. The biggest trepidation was being consistent and finding a good routine to make this work out. I found that if I do this at a certain time and clean up immediately, then this routine works. But I’ve started to extend this routine to increasing a small workout regime. So I’ll try to have a small snack in the late afternoon to give myself some energy. If I’m not too tired, I’ll go downstairs to the little gym and do some cardio on the elliptical. Right now, I’m trying to do between 30-45 minutes of cardio. Below 30 minutes is too little while over 45 minutes end up tiring me out badly for the next day. So between that period is good. And I’m trying to increase the resistance so I sweat a little more, even though I can’t do as much. But it’s helping to vary the workout a little.

Another thing I’m doing is eating at this Greek place after hitting Trader Joe’s in picking up my organics and foods for the week. It’s nice because the food isn’t that expensive and I get a salad, humus and some decent meat. So I find it healthy enough while I pick up whatever is missing from my shopping list.

The ultimate story here is that I’m finding things to make this health thing work for me. I’m avoiding dealing with numbers whenever possible like losing XXX number of pounds or burning XXX amount of calories. Instead, I’m focused on how I feel. I’ve come to realize that I’m far from perfect but before I would mentally sabotage myself. For instance, if I couldn’t do 1 hour of cardio, I would think I’d suck. So if I didn’t feel as though I could do 1 hour of cardio, I would do nothing. And doing nothing is far worse than getting some cardio in and trying. Same thing with foods. I still eat bad but rather than mentally demolishing myself for eating bad at that point in time, I’ll just try to eat good a few more times that week. Also, if I feel something wrong with my body like my eye twitching or getting major eye strain, I’ll force myself to hit the gym. Doing exercise I’ve found definitely cures those issues.

All this summarizes to my goal of just finding that right balance. I’m never going to be a hardcore weight lifter or have a six pack. And I’m not going to eat perfect 100% of the time. But I can at least eat decent more often than not while doing some exercise to keep myself going. Add to doing a little writing, coding and things that make me feel productive for my personal life, then I feel as though I’m accomplishing something for myself and having that sense of balance.

The post Health: Little By Little appeared first on Kontroversial Keith.

The last few days I’ve slowly been doing small things to have a healthier lifestyle. It’s no secret that I’m someone who has trouble maintaining himself when it comes to staying on course with dieting and exercise. However, a friend encouraged me to blog about the journey. I figured maybe if I write on a daily basis that it will help motivate me to do something small just to improve myself.

The funny thing is that none of this was super conscious. It started on Saturday when I decided to finally get out of the house and have a simple Mediterranean dinner at Daphne’s. Sure, it’s not the most high end restaurant for this type of thing but they do have decent meats and provide a nice salad and humus, which for me is better than most things. But the center of my motivation for going was two parts. First, I had a really horrible week where my Friday everything just went to shit. Everything you could imagine turned into utter crap and chaos. So to “reward” myself, I did the second thing which was “treat” myself to a Carl’s Jr Double Western Combo meal with Dr Pepper and Fried Zucchini. Yeah, there’s veggies, it’s thus healthy! Of course, that “treat” turned out to be $13.

WTF?!?!?!

For fast fucking food?! What the hell is wrong with that industry?

On Saturday, I still felt like crap and my eye was twitching like mad because I have a genetic high blood pressure problem. It’s been bugging me for sometime and I really didn’t care. But I felt that on Friday I hit my lowest point mentally. Maybe not life-wise, but I just felt horrible. I can’t even remember most of Saturday outside of programming a bit. But later my concentration was sapped and I got hungry. So I figured I really needed to get out of my home. I didn’t want to spend a horrific amount on shit food again but most places are crowded, especially with Mother’s Day coming up. So I decided to make a little compromise and hit Daphne’s.

Just having a salad with something as simple as cucumbers, red onions, tomatoes, etc. along with decent meat and humus already made me feel better. I had parked my car next to the bank, checked out some cash and was thinking about hitting a donuts shop on the way home. Instead, I noticed that Trader Joe’s was still open so I figured I’d pick a thing or two up since I hadn’t been there for a while.

Once inside, I felt weird because I was the unhealthy nerd gamer rather than the motivated, more health conscious person I was years ago. But just being in a store like that with a more lively customer base and healthier ingredients internally put pressure on me to pick up a few decent items. A few items turned into two salads, some strawberries and some fish to start.

The thing you have to understand about me when it comes to certain items is that most foods I would buy like strawberries or salads would just end up in the trash. I have this mental problem where I need to get motivated to eat those things. Otherwise, they just kinda sit in my fridge until they rot. Then they go to waste and I end up feeling as though my money went down the drain, leading further into me not buying more fresh fruit and vegetables for a while and my life spirals down quite quickly from there.

So I started fighting with myself trying to figure out what to do. Then I remembered that my friend recently bought a Ninja Blender. He told me it was really easy to use and just having a fruit smoothie in the morning would give him energy. For a while now, I had really wanted to pick one up. But as usual, my typical indecision would lead to no results. This time I decided to commit. I asked him a few questions and made up my mind that I would go out and pick up a Ninja Blender at Best Buys the next day before Game of Thrones started.

I was nerve wracked because it would be quite a bit of money. However, my friend quickly convinced me that the numbers would add up in my favor. Making your own smoothies alone would save you in money going to Jamba Juice. So after spending sometime staring at the various blenders, I picked one up which I felt was a good starter and bought it. Okay, I’m all in guys.

While having lunch, I decided to figure out a few recipes. The blender had a couple but in all honesty, they all looked awful. So I perused a few websites and caught one with good reviews and decided to start easy. Baby steps people. Baby steps. I decided to use the strawberries I bought from the store and discovered a nice raspberry recipe that combined milk, vanilla yogurt, vanilla extract with the two other fruit ingredients. It couldn’t get any easier than that. But I needed something simple to build confidence in myself that A) this would taste great; B) I could do this consistently; C) I would get my money’s worth.

After getting another hint from my friend to freeze the fruit, I gave the recipe a try on Monday. Oh man, it was an instant hit! I was surprised at how easy everything was. I don’t know why I get so scared about things like this. I think it’s partly due because I have slight xenophobia, which I believe I inherited from my mom. It takes a long time before I feel comfortable in trying something new. But once I get hooked, I go all in. And baby, I am FOOKIN’ HOOKED!

Sure enough, just having the one instantly gave me a ton of energy. It tasted fantastic along the lines of a Jamba Juice. And I was just happy that it was stuff I put in. I don’t know how much that might mean to you, but for someone like me who trusts nothing and nobody, it’s huge. I can control whatever I want to put in! Vitamins, blueberries, no bananas, whatever. This all seems trivial but for someone like me with mental problems on these type of things, it’s a HUGE deal.

I also had my salad and fish for dinner and felt much better that night. Today, I made another smoothie for myself and had fish for lunch. Best of all I used up all my strawberries! No more waste! Just freezing them immediately provides two massive benefits: 1) you can store them longer and not worry about them rotting in your fridge; 2) they make the smoothies taste like ice cream for lack of a better term. How cool is that (pun intended)?

In addition, I grabbed some coffee and a bagel for a snack, which gave me a little more energy. But now, I was pretty pumped and decided to do something I’ve been meaning to do for a while: get back to the little gym downstairs. I only did 38 minutes of the elliptical on the lowest level of resistance, but I don’t remember the last time I went. Yet I realized I had to take advantage of that moment because I had the time and energy to make that first step. And again for a person like me, that first step is the hardest and the most important.

After that, I went back to get another round of Greek for dinner and picked up more groceries. I decided to expand my vocabulary of blending. Right now, I have a very simple goal: to increase the variety of fruits (and possibly vegetables) in my diet just so that I have a little more energy, a little more vitamins and decreased blood pressure. It’s simple in that it’s very achievable. But it’s a tough goal too because I have to remain vigilant and committed. I know being me that I’m bound to fail and fall off the wagon at some point. Maybe I’ll get sick. Maybe I’ll throw up. Maybe I won’t feel like getting more at the store or that a project comes up that consumes all my time. But it’s like the advice Ser Davos Seaworth gave Jon Snow on Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 3: “Good. Now, go out and fail again!”

I’m hoping that this small life change will percolate into other aspects of my life. I think just having this extra energy alone will improve my ability to concentrate and help the quality of my projects both at work and at home. Also, I’m hoping that it’ll motivate me to keep going out and force myself to get out of my place now and then so I can continue picking up groceries to make myself healthier. For some people this type of thing comes naturally. But for me it’s a challenge that I have to deal with on a daily basis. I can only be me and take the small steps while looking at that single day to be the best. But for me that is the best.

Also, thanks Baku!

The post Giving Healthier Lifestyle Blogging A Try appeared first on Kontroversial Keith.

For one, you have to accept that you simply cannot control every little aspect in your life. Some days the shit will hit the fan unexpectedly and there’s nothing you can do except accept and deal with it. That’s the first thing I’ve learned as an engineer. You can’t plan out things too far because you’ll create unrealistic expectations in your life that you cannot fulfill. There’s no amount of inspirational posts that you put on your Instagram that can defend you against that feeling of life fucking you over.

On top of that not meeting your own expectations can be insanely depressing. We all want to feel that we have control over our lives but the truth is that the world keeps moving in a single direction and none of us are super powers that can turn back time. So you have to face that reality.

On top of that being depressed is natural I feel. Everyone is going to deal with depression or at least the feeling of being low at some point in their life. And it’s not something you can compare between yourself and another person. Everyone’s low is personal because it’s partly what defines you. But don’t fear depression and sadness. Embrace it from time to time because it will happen. And don’t feel obligated not to feel sorry for yourself. No one else in this world honestly will unless they want something out of you.

The key is to not dwell on things here too long. Give yourself enough time to mourn whatever problem you have. But don’t stay in that period for too long. It’s a dangerous place and very hard to leave. On top of that, make sure you have good, positive friends around. Kick out the bad ones who make you feel like shit and just find the ones who really understand you and encourage you little by little in whatever way you feel comfortable. But move the fuck on at some point. Give yourself a deadline.

Sometimes part of the problem is feeling overwhelmed. I find the divide and conquer method to work best when I get that way. Make a task list and break it down into smaller pieces. That’s how many computer science problems are solved. We cannot handle huge, overwhelming problems, so we solve them in tinier, bite sized task. Completing a task give us a sense of accomplishment that motivates us to do better for ourselves. Don’t even try the hardest ones if you can’t do. But do something to move forward.

Now, let’s talk about concrete ways to balance things. First, you absolutely have to put your foot down when it comes to your life. Don’t be afraid of your peers and bosses. Your health, sanity and personal life exceed any type of stupid project people throw at you. If no one else can understand these aspects, then fuck them! Seriously, tell them to fuck off, get AIDS and die. They deserve it because these people don’t help society and are themselves causing the cancer.

Next, start doing small things to improve the basics in your life. You need some level of exercise and nourishment. You don’t always have to eat healthy, but make it a point to at least eat healthy a few times a week. Stop worrying about calorie counters. Instead, focus on the nutrients if it makes it easier for you. Whatever it takes to get you to that goal of living a little healthier do it.

For instance, I’m not a huge healthy person. I can eat healthy when I force myself. But getting in that habit and tricking myself are the most difficult things to do. So what I did was I went out and bought a blender. No joke. Cost $129 for a Ninja. Totally worth it. I know I needed more strawberries and raspberries in my diet for the anti-oxidants. But I often wasted them whenever I’d buy them so I stopped for a long time. Instead, with the blender, I can toss them into the freezer then make a fresh smoothie which is like getting a Jamba Juice. Better yet, I can choose whatever I want to put in it. That’s far better than Jamba Juice! I can add a multivitamin, etc. By doing it this way, I don’t have to worry about forcing myself to eat the fruit at a certain time along with swallowing the vitamin (I have a very hard time with this). Instead, I can make something that’s delicious with ingredients that I have 100% control over.

For exercise, it’s hard and I know it’s been a thorn in my side for a while. But one guy at my work takes jogs every day by the beach. He doesn’t care what other people think because he’s smart and eventually he gets his work done. Everyone recognizes that so they leave him alone. If your employer prevents you from getting exercise, you should call them out on trying to kill you. I’m dead serious. America has a huge issue of not protecting their workers. Engineers face this a lot because tech isn’t run by a union. So there’s little to truly protect us from ourselves.

Nonetheless, you still need to do something so you don’t fall over from lack of cardio or whatever. Do what my coworker does and pick a time to get out and take a walk. Humans weren’t meant just to sit in a chair all day long. We need to move but we also need to force ourselves to move and we need others to give us the freedom to move when we need to.

For myself, I’ve tried all types of workouts. Most times I found myself getting discouraged because a gym is too crowded or that I don’t feel good for one reason or another. What I’m going to try is going to my little workout room around a certain time but not over do it. Every article you read tells you not to over do your workout. Before I was trying to do too much. I’m not a professional so I really don’t need that level of effort. But getting some exercise in is better than nothing. So I’m thinking between 40-45 minutes of cardio is good for me. Less than 30 is too little and 60+ is overkill.

Obviously, keeping myself to this kind of schedule will be impossible. But I have to use the few opportunities given to me to make those efforts to try and do something. It’s really true what they say where you have to want these things in order to do it. No one wants to really be a fatty and sickly, but you have to also want to at least meet some kind of minimum standard for yourself. And that minimum stand for me is a careful sense of balance in my life between work, play and striving for self-improvement in my health and mind.

The post Trying to Find Balance in My Life appeared first on Kontroversial Keith.

I’m positive the vast majority of people have encountered numerous points in their life where they began to question their existence. People turn towards religion to try to make more sense of the world. Others turn to philosophy and science. For myself, I just question everything.

With the last decade’s uprising of reality TV shows, The Truman Show takes the idea and throws into high gear by connecting it and asking whether or not our own lives could be an epic reality show that has not been cancelled thus far. Similarly, South Park had an episode which revealed that the earth itself was just a comic reality show in the universe, hence why different species have been placed here.

Whenever I think about how things have gone in my life, I feel as though there are numerous parallels between myself and the character Jim Carrey plays. If suddenly a UFO appeared in my back yard and the producer of this “show” manifested, I wouldn’t be surprised at all. My reaction initially would be, “What took you so long to get here?” That whole thing made me think about a conversation that might take place with this so-called higher being.

Being: “You’re not surprised?”

Me: “Not at all. Your hints weren’t exactly subtle. I mean, I’m glad you didn’t drop a camera out of the sky because you would’ve blown your cover. Not to mention, why do the same gag twice?”

Being: “True. But the subtleness we retain because it’s part of the show; we want to keep the audience on the edge of their seat. Whenever there’s a possibility of discovery, rather than having the traditional piped in stock laughter, we added a stock gasp audio byte.”

Me: “Do you have a counter for that?”

Being: “Nah, but it would get old quickly. We thought about something similar where people could guess when you’d figure it all out and give away a prize. But as you can tell, our budget is pretty low.”

Me: “Wow. I’m glad I’m worth all the 99 cents you could muster. That all said, why now? Is this the whole ‘death’ thing? I mean, do I get to become part of the audience? Do I get my own space craft and have my prize after enduring this crap for so long?”

Being: “Ratings started to drop. They didn’t like the fact that you started to figure out how to be happy for yourself. They always liked watching you suffer so you could push yourself. Things have to feel epic on a normal scale, if that makes any sense. We could’ve just put up a bunch of physical obstacles for you to consistently trip over, but you don’t handle slapstick very well.”

Me: “Well, that kinda blows. It would’ve made things a LOT easier.”

Being: “As you well, know easier isn’t always the most entertaining. Especially profitable.”

Me: “Sheesh. I would’ve thought that you guys wouldn’t be about money. Is it all about money there too?”

Being: “How else do you think we created your system? Anyway, we aren’t that creative as you can see.”

Me: “So no hope either for whatever place you’re at?”

Being: “Don’t be so melodramatic. And you have the audacity to call Jim Carrey melodramatic!”

Me: “Ugh, I just want to get to this theoretical place called ‘paradise’ already! I figure for all the pain and suffering I’ve endured, I get something nice out of this, right? Or is this where the whole, ‘you must live life strictly by those rules you heard about from the gospel?'”

Being: “Oh that stuff? That’s more comic relief to see who really falls for shit like that. Come on. Do you really think we’re such nice folk for tossing you onto a shitty rock and letting you flap your wings on your own? I think it was Fred in accounting who came up with that joke. Ended up being a bet on how many people would fall for that gag.”

Me: “Wait. So how many people are in on this? How many people are just cast members?”

Being: “A mixture. Some are, some aren’t. You really thought you were the only one?”

Me: “Hard to say.”

Being: “Random factors make the show more interesting. We want enough control to guide you to the next possible plot twist, but enough randomness to keep our viewers interested. It’s an art and a bit of a science to be precise.”

Me: “Okay, so I guess you just threw all my hopes and dreams out the window. Do I get anything that’s not lame at least? Please say it’s not something stupid like a t-shirt.”

Being: “Well, that joke got old decades ago. For the gift, what’s your pick?”

Me: “You’ve known all this time what I wanted. I’ve well publicized every little bit. I figured you’d at least plant spyware in my systems.”

Being: “Oh, alright. A flying saucer with 500 people of your choosing and enough room to carry your house and all the compliments for an eternity supply of happiness. Are you satisfied finally?”

Me: “Squee!”

The post The Truman Show: A Conversation with A Higher Being appeared first on Kontroversial Keith.

My belief is that the message is not intentionally profound and just a subtle jab at the fast consuming appetite of gamers. However, at the same time, the demand of consumption is an overarching theme with the increase in access to information. Our lives currently have been sped up hundreds of times over as well as our stresses. But I don’t believe the quality of our lives have matched the death march we have entered.

A friend of mine recently told me that “her life couldn’t get much worse.” At first, because of various issues in moving to the states, I felt that something major happened like she got fired, divorced, kicked out of her home, etc. Then she revealed me that her pride was hurt because of how she had to start from scratch. I honestly wanted to troll her because I was outraged. When I looked at the past few months and 2012 for my life, I felt that things couldn’t get much worse. Mom having her stroke, switching jobs to a high pressured situation, uncle and grandmother passing away, numerous points in my life getting out of control and no end in sight for any of these things. And someone else complaining that they had to “start from scratch.”

When I look at places like Fukushima in Japan, I think of all the Japanese people who have no opportunities to escape. These are people who probably never had a thought to leave the country and wanted to spend a peaceful existence working on a farm or other occupations. After the radiation, many people in Fukushima were bullied and even treated like outsiders for something they had absolutely no control over. More than likely their children will feel the effects of the radiation in the coming years not to mention the loss of generations of work. But the saddest thing is that their own people turned a blind eye to them, shrugged their shoulders, gave them the finger and walked away.

I’m certain if they knew well in advance what their fate would be, they would have long gotten the fuck out of that place. If they had a chance to marry a foreigner and live a life elsewhere, simple logic dictates that more than likely they would have made that move to ensure a better life. But most probably don’t have that chance. And that’s from people in those zones. There’s many others in Japan, whom I believe will be effected in years to come. Not to mention how many Japanese lack the language skills and other abilities to potentially live abroad.

So starting from scratch doesn’t really sound that bad by comparison.

That all said, to me the mentality of all this reeks of the fast paced mindset. MTV, The Social Network, billionaire kids, etc. all have blinded us into this dystopian dream that we cannot achieve in trying to become something most of us never were destined to become. Everyone wants to be the rock star on stage with the world cheering at you. But how do you get there? You backstab all the assholes in your way, suck executives’ dicks until you’re purple, snort lines of coke to make your networks and take it in the ass even if you’re not gay. In short, you prostitute yourself for others to get ahead in this world.

In many ways, there’s no way around this method. But should we as a species engage in this death march? Are we moving at such a pace that despite technological advances, we have ignored each other to the point where we can nod at Darwin and say, “He da man?” Is Machiavelli correct in his work The Prince where he believes that fear rather than love should be what drives a kingdom?

My answer is look at yourself deep and hard and everything around you. Do yourself a favor and step outside of your body and mind and survey the world and the direction we’re heading. What’s the purpose of all this? Why are we in this unending dick measurement contest? What do I get out of it?

There will always be someone who will say “yes!” to the above questions. They will eventually rise above all of us and attempt to subjugate us because we helped make him or her and they managed to slither, stab and suck all the way to the top somehow. That’s fine because that’s how things are and more than likely something that won’t ever change due to our simplistic, animal nature.

However, the question I’m posing isn’t directed to those people. I’m focused on you who come here to read my mental meanderings and are hungering for answers in your own lives. The thing is for myself, I’m starting to recognize that you really require a self-loathing personality to become like that. Essentially, the litmus test is whether or not you’re willing to kill your mom. If you cannot go through sacrificing your mom, you’ll never make it. In short, you lack the kill instinct to do whatever it takes to get on top. You lack the cold blooded nature to become successful and be on top and stay on top.

When you come back to earth and start looking around you, look deep inside of yourself and see if you have that mean spirit. You’ll recognize it because you won’t feel anything. It’s complete emptiness. You’ll have no feelings whatsoever and that’s how you know you can survive. You lack the human weakness of guilt and doubt and realize that you really care about the people around you. But you feel confused by everything because of all the mixed messages around you.

This is why you need to stop and seriously reflect on things. Spend some time along in a park, away from everyone and everything. Get back to nature and enter into a forest where the only things around you are the soft whistling of trees, the chirping of birds, the trickling of a pond. Get away from the hecticness of postmodern life and the electronic noise and delve deep into your psyche. You need to in order to conjure up the correct answers for your own life.

“Slow down” isn’t just a message for people who are quick to consume content. It’s a far more vast revelation that we need to re-think our lives. For myself, it’s only when I met incredible tragedy in the past 13 years where I realize what’s most important to me. It’s not about being this rock star on stage. It’s about the things right in front of me and trying to get each moment from those things and turning them into something memorable for myself.

When I was younger, I was blinded by the rock star syndrome. Not exactly being a rock star but the idea of becoming this huge house hold name, being loved for my talents, stories, movies, websites, etc. I would go into these blind paths en route to my dreams. But I had no real plan. I had no idea how to pull any of this off. Also, I had no focus. All I knew was that I wanted the end point not everything in between. In short, I didn’t have what was necessary to make it.

But along the way, I got blindsided by my own fantasy world of super stardom. I had an invisible chip on my shoulder that only I could see and was looking for people to knock it over. However, I didn’t even advertise that chip so there was no one to really challenge me. All I had was this horrible voice in my head guiding my actions without a clear path. In the process, I feel that I messed up. I focused too much on money or lofty goals that were well beyond my reach. For instance, in Japan, I probably missed a lot of great relationship opportunities because I was looking in the wrong direction. Because I wasn’t happy that I wasn’t a superstar, my confidence was shot and I probably made a lot of people miserable around me by being too negative. Also, I spent far too much time on wasteful projects that led to nothing.

What I should have been doing was focusing on the quality of my life. Doing things like learning to cook, improving my Japanese, meeting hot girls, etc. Nope. Gotta become a billionaire. Gotta become the next Mark Zuckerberg. Instead, what did I get? A lot of stress, deaths in my family, no relationships, a belly and just general unhappiness.

That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy myself. But I think I could’ve spent more time on those things rather than trying to blindly build websites without focus or ignoring things around me, I’d probably be in a lot better position now emotionally at the very least.

If I were to bring this all back to Mist of Pandaria, my main thing is that I will enjoy it at my own pace. It’s one of the simple things in my life that I can continue to enjoy. I don’t need to do hard core raiding nor arenas because it’s not about measuring my dick size. I know how big it gets and how it feels when it gets big and that’s the most important thing for me.

The post World of Warcraft: Mist of Pandaria’s Philosophy, Reflections on Postmodern Society and My Own Life appeared first on Kontroversial Keith.

My belief is that the world and humans are by nature fascinated more with macro or large scale as opposed to the micro elements. Macro implies epic, vastness, empires, massive progress. However, I believe that such lofty thinking puts too much emphasis at such a level of abstraction that it ignores the tiny cracks that slowly whittle away at this superstructure notion of thought.

Going back to the article on Japan’s economics, I feel that based on conversations with numerous friends that there’s still quite a bit of problems that can subvert empirical models. For instance, many foreigners that I know are trying to leave Japan. The work environment, high layoffs, job moves, language barrier and radiation especially are all elements that are making Japan an extremely unattractive place to be. Once the foreigner workforce leaves Japan, other markets will begin to prosper and make Japan even more unattractive for the short term investor.

Another example is corporate structures and “too big to fail” systems like banks. Having worked at Citigroup in the past, I came to realize that companies like that end up having problems of progress because of all the regulations and internal bureaucracy. Citigroup’s original vision was akin to the portal concepts of the late 1990’s internet like Yahoo. The problems in attempting to grow to a monolithic structure is that Citigroup faced all the regulations from each business unit. So the banking aspect would be forced to be compliant equal to their equities side as a result of their Solomon Smith Barney acquisition. The net effect was the sheer tar pit engendered, unending levels of paper trails, nightmarish audits and a general lack of transparency at all levels. While the vision was ideal, in practice it was a disaster.

Next we come to countries like the US which is facing turmoil on numerous fronts. The biggest two issues are economics and ideologies. Within the US, there is an even greater fracturing as states themselves like California find unenviable problems attempting to govern their own budgets. Yet when you drill down to some of the lowest levels like handling someone with disability like my mom, the government demonstrates that it’s out of touch because people like my mom become just a number to them.

Yet we face this as individuals too. I’m certain many people out there prefer to look at life from the 10000 perch from an ivory tower. We like to plan long term, believing that some day we too will be the traditional rock star on stage with our babes, fancy cars, heroin parties and Walk of Fame moments. Of course, reality is that most of us never will accomplish any of that (although most probably will attempt to live like that and end up broke, dead or in jail).

This is why as a species we must move away from this train of thought. It’s deadly and impractical. We need to look at things in front of us, deal with those problems immediately and concentrate on what’s around us. If we don’t, we end up crashing into a bus that blindsides us from out of nowhere. I think Yoda said it wisest when he warned Luke Skywalker about his little futile expedition in trying to save his friends; more specifically how Luke needed to worry about everything right now and what’s in front of him rather than looking to the future. Of course, Luke got his hand cut off from being impulsive so Yoda was right after all.

But like what Yoda was saying, we need to look at things right here in front of us. Focus on smaller things with more details to really figure out better solutions. I’m a huge fan of Jean-Jaques Rousseau on his view of socialism. His belief was to focus on smaller communities as the intimacy between people would prevent hostility and create understanding. Large systems lack transparency because of the numerous levels of elements that clutter things. In turn, people quickly become confused or overwhelmed (this is why divide-and-conquer solutions are popular in programming)

I think if society starts focusing on the concrete problems in people’s daily lives as opposed to get rich pyramid schemes, which seem all too common, things will gradually improve. We need a stable system in place before we can start worrying about the future.

The post Why We Need to Move to Micro Thinking Rather Than Macro appeared first on Kontroversial Keith.

Still, I don’t think a lot of people understand why I haven’t gotten married or haven’t really pursued marriage. First, the people I have liked in the past got married and probably weren’t the best option for me. Second, I’ve seen a lot of marriages fail or have problems, including my own parents’. It’s given me huge warning signs that have made me extra cautious and forced me to not rush things. I feel as though most people end up getting married for the wrong reasons, sometimes (and primarily) because there’s a lot of unnecessary social pressure to do so. I mean, I have my own conspiracy theories of how governments put pressure via the media, especially in 1st world countries like America or Japan for people to get married and have families. Obviously, it’s a productivity and economic issue for the most part, but to me that’s not a great reason as an individual to force themselves to go out and get married.

Having seen so enough relationships and marriages fail, I concluded that most issues in a relationship occurs over money. Tensions always arise over money, which pretty much changes how people, who are normally in love, perceive each other over time. The same initial feelings are no longer shared over time when bills that cannot be paid, etc. start to creep up. So for myself, I felt that being financially stable is paramount prior to committing myself to a full time relationship.

Another thing is that I simply haven’t found anyone really worth my time and effort. That might sound a little egotistical but let me discuss this in detail. The idea of marriage is about commitment and is a partnership. Knowing full well in advance that the person you will marry most likely will stay with you the rest of your life means that you will somehow have to endure each other no matter what. It’s more than just a physical relationship too. It’s the mental and emotional aspects that people tend to forget.

For myself, I want a true soul mate. It’s rare finding that person who feels equally invested into you and vice versa. I consider myself somewhat “difficult” in that I am multifaceted and have certain complexities that require a great amount of patience to deal with. I have a maturity issue and have grown comfortable with my personality such that I slowly become less willing to compromise on aspects as I grow older.

Try telling that to someone you meet on the street and see how they’ll take it. It’s not easy. The other person has their issues too. They have their needs and wants and own complexities. As someone who can put themselves in other people’s shoes, I fully understand how someone might be hesitant to deal with a personality like mine, which is why I describe the thing I want most is a “soul mate.”

Of course, everyone has their fantasy partner. I mean, if Charlize Theron or Norika Fujiwara randomly walked up to me on the street and asked me to marry them, I wouldn’t hesitate. At the same time, there’s going to be a moment where we’ll probably clash. In my situation, I’d have everything to lose while they could just walk away and find someone else just as easily. So I have to be realistic to a degree as well.

The other thing about me is that outside of my mom’s issue, I’m comfortable being single. I often hear about my married friends and how much independence they give up. Certainly, I miss out on many aspects of marriage, but the independence thing is one I’d certainly have to give up. With the right person, I don’t think I’d have to worry about this aspect as much. I enjoy having freedom so the person who I’d marry I feel would want the same thing for themselves.

At any rate, I don’t take the idea of marriage lightly. Being in a relationship is one thing but it’s not to the level of commitment as marriage. The stakes are just too high to throw out the word so casually.

The post Marriage and Why I Haven’t Gone Through It appeared first on Kontroversial Keith.

My primary problem in the conspiracy theorists/theories is simply proof. When you read the theories, there’s just too many loopholes despite how interesting they may sound. The big one for me is idea of lizard people controlling us. If you watch enough videos on the subject, all too often you’ll encounter a silly image of the Bushes or other people of high power in a video tape recording showing “lizard-like eyes.” Often it’s the same video on repeat. Obviously, with the video editing software and Photoshop these days, anyone can doctor an image or video. It really takes more than a single silly frame to convince someone like me that these people are in fact “lizards.”

But it gets better. Nutcases like David Icke (whom I’m even embarrassed mentioning here) further rationalize that these beings are extra dimensional. So these videos only demonstrate periods where they reveal themselves. For anyone with any miniscule amount of common sense, you’ll see the red herring in this argument. It really is all based on faith in this case. Faith in a single individual’s belief system that we need to pay XXXX amount to get into a seminar.

However, where’s the real proof? If this was such a huge deal, why not do something realistic and grab around 10000 people, charge the Bush ranch and skin the guy? I’m not advocating murdering the former president, but how else is someone like a David Icke going to vindicate his premise? If we were being controlled by these beings, wouldn’t it make sense to create a mass rally and directly assault someone and bring them to justice? Why not show some balls and do something rather than setting up these useless conferences to show how bad cocaine affects the brain?

Next let’s talk about Satanism, the occult and UFOs in connection with the Illuminati. Much of the conspiracies centered around Satanism and the Illuminati. They attempt to connect certain figures like Aleister Crowley, Jack Parsons, the Church of Scientology, the Bavarian Illuminati, etc. with Satanic rituals. Some of the more infamous scenes in videos involve the Skull and Bones society at Yale initiating people, the nuclear bomb test, Bohemian Grove, etc. Also, they talk about the symbols, numerology and connection with rock music to hypnosis and other forms of Satanism.

However, something struck me the other night as I watched a rather long (and often redundant) youtube video on the subject matter. With regard to UFOs and alien beings, these people now are defining these extraterrestrials as “demons” on top of saying that UFOs are themselves living entities. While we might not ever find out the later aspect, the thing that made me suspicious is how the subject of UFOs and aliens went from something potentially scientific to something religious in nature.

Here’s what I think as I examine more and more of these conspiracy theories. There’s a small scale conspiracy behind them as well. The people behind them I believe are actually religious fanatics who are attempting to bend people’s wills towards their own agenda through scare tactics. The rhetoric, repeated nature of certain elements, use of religious iconography, etc. all are an attempt to pray upon our innate fears of the unknown. However, this smells like your typical zealot’s propensity for jingoism.

The thing to me at the end of the day is that you need proof. The problem with conspiracy theories is that they simply just remain theories. Fiction at best but still intangible and hence unbelievable. Stringing up video clips, taking historical moments out of context, etc. are actions anyone can do in order to create their own agenda to propagate for the masses.

But so what?

That’s the biggest thing for me. These people justify their own existence as “creating awareness.” However, I think it’s just a scam to get people to buy their books, listen to their radio, click on ads, etc. Websites devoted to these topics often are crude with tons of ads and a credit card payment option. So why would people who advocate moving away from a single currency system (e.g. credit cards) employ them on their site? It’s such a hypocrisy to me.

And the awareness thing is just not enough. What these people have done is accuse too many on an enormous scale of some extremely serious crimes. If that were the case, again why not rally hundreds of thousands of people to their cause and storm places like Washington or the Queen of England, etc.? Why simply sit behind a microphone and yell at people in the hope that they get attention for their silly cause? If it’s legality that they fear, then it’s all the more reason to do something radical on a mass scale. You have to become a martyr and demonstrate why a system is poorly conceived in order to fix it.

But again I think these people are all show. It’s just entertainment and profit for them. Now, don’t get me wrong. I like listening to them. It gives me some interesting ideas for my own fiction. But their logic is so flawed that it actually repels me from doing anything.

That said, I would like to say that I do believe there are conspiracies going on in the world but on a far smaller, more obvious and less structured scale. And the most obvious conspiracy is this: everyone alive has an agenda, which simply is to be on top. That’s what we’re built for, how Darwin would explain us. It doesn’t get any easier than that to understand. As a living species, we’ll do anything to propagate and maintain ourselves as the status quo.

So from a conspiracy point of view, it’s just business as usual. The people on top want money because that’s how society has accepted in terms of a system of control. So groups like the FDA, farmers, fast food industry, insurance, banks, pharmaceuticals, medical, nursing, etc. are all part of that ecosystem to maintain themselves. Just like the NRA, military, CIA, FBI, Homeland Security, TSA, Boeing, etc. are part of their own ecosystem to fund weapons.

The thing is that if you’re not part of any of these ecosystems, you’re essentially fucked. It’s because there’s no support center for you and you’re just being manipulated all the time. But no matter what if you a part of a system, you have to deal with it on some level.

This is where I want to get back into the whole conspiracy theory thing. In the video, they used JFK as the last “true” president in the US, who wasn’t pre-selected by this group. There’s one particular quote that stood out mentioning how people can “truly be free.” But what does that mean? That seems to be such a lie in itself.

So let’s put this into practical terms. Let’s talk about “true freedom.” Let’s say these conspiracy people are correct and we beat the living shit out of some lizards and extra dimensional beings such that they high tail it. Then what? Are we going to suddenly move back into a mud based society where we’re dancing and smoking pot (i.e. the 60’s hippy movement?) What happens when some jack ass fucks a girl I think is hot? By “true freedom” that implies I could go over and kill that asshole, right? If that happens, then wouldn’t the girl grab her gun guaranteed by our sense of “true freedom” and just blow my brains out for revenge? I mean this will go on and on and on.

True freedom to me is just anarchy. But as you can see if we allowed true anarchy to reign supreme, we probably wouldn’t last long as a species. Don’t give me some stupid hippy “but we should love one another” speech. As long as we have finite resources on this planet, we will remain competitive as a species. I can’t suddenly see the girl I want to fuck going, “Okay, I’ll open my legs for you now and fuck this marriage thing!” without some severe consequence.

People might go, “Well then we’ll have to define how to be civilized and we’ll just need to get some really smart people to figure out how to manage resources.” Well, isn’t that what governments, businesses and economists are for? And what about the people who have to cook the burgers, prepare the meat, kill the cows, manage the crops, etc. You’re telling me that people willingly at some point will just start handling that because it’s fun? No way, people are going to be on the streets fucking and smoking hash.

Let’s put it this way. Yes, there will always be intelligent people in this world who can and want to be above this primordial state. But at some level, we’re still this primitive species. That’s why we like entertainment. We enjoy the dumbass kids who jump off of roofs, split their ankles, get powerbombed on their necks, etc. because we’re fucked up. That’s the real truth. No one likes admitting that they’re fucked up because it’s a hard pill to swallow.

Here’s my belief beyond the small scale conspiracy thing. People just plain suck. The reason why we’re in a state of being is that we’re horribly managed and there’s just too many people that creates far too many variables to deal with. No single person has the correct answer to create the perfect society and that’s just how it is. However, everyone has their own vision of what that perfect society ought to be. That’s where the real conflict comes into play.

If you look at the pros vs cons regarding the so-called one world agenda that these conspiracy theorists propose, you have to really think hard if it’s such a bad thing. One currency? Hmmm…the problem that currencies in the world just don’t make sense and that values in every country differ so drastically? One government….well, if it guarantees certain rights to everyone is that so bad? How about the notion of so-called control over people? Well, let’s face it. We suck. So if we’re allowed to take control of our own destinies, do you think that most people will be in school studying night and day to create rockets to the moon?

So the bigger question is what about me? What about Keith? What is his stake in all of this? I simply don’t care. I don’t want to be part of either side. Both sides suck no matter what. I couldn’t care less what happens to people. I’d prefer to be part of the Illuminati and get a nice handshake, have beautiful women surrounding me, nice home, food all the time just to sell my neighbor and biological family to some slaughter house to feed the so-called lizard people. But I suppose if that were to have occurred, I wouldn’t be writing this and I’d be having sex with Charlize Theron and Norika Fujiwara in a three way on a nightly basis while plotting how to take guns away from some rednecks in Texas.

Seeing that hasn’t happened and probably won’t happen because I probably lack some gene, I’ll be content sitting in a dark room, watching videos, getting ideas for stories and jacking it.

The post Conspiracies, Illuminati and Bullshit appeared first on Kontroversial Keith.