I came across this term a little while back. There's some interesting entries by the person talking about the situation. I guess I was enthralled by the article because I know quite a few Japanese people here who are like that. The male ones I'm not too disappointed in because they're the ones that probably struggle a lot more in saving up their income for a place of their own. But it's the female ones that really bother me the most.
What disturbs me about the female ones is their lifestyle and expectations. In one article I read, the author talked about the problems of marriage with these women. In particular, these women end up having high expectations for their male counterpart. Because these women don't typically worry about rent and other necessities in life, they tend to purchase high quality, name brand goods. When it comes to their marriage partner, they worry that unless they find someone with an extraordinary amount of cash, they'd end up risking a good deal of their income. Furthermore, these women also worry about doing things like housework and even cooking. So they end up delaying marriage for a number of years, especially ones who know they are good looking, in the hope of finding that perfect someone.
In my experience, what I've seen are these spoiled brats that simply don't appreciate a damn. They take things for granted and expect people to give them things, especially the better looking ones. Ironically, they do somewhat realize that there's a billion good looking gals in Tokyo, but still tend to make their requirements high.
As they grow older though up until about 35 (these days), those requirements just shoot up the roof. In some ways, I can't blame them because age and experience teach you a lot about yourself and what you want. However, I can't stand the overprotective attitudes that these people have when it comes to the details and even trying to branch out.
It's funny because the younger ones, from what I understand, are the most open minded. Say betwen 18-22, the younger women aren't as detail oriented in their requirements analysis of guys. Instead, they care about just finding someone who loves them. How funny is that? But from about 25-30, you get more girls who are career minded these days and so relationships tend to be harder, unless you're amazing. But after 30, women go through this bizarre mental phase, kinda like Freud's neuroticism, where everything adds up to simply confusion. Probably the women between the ages of 30-35 right have it most difficult because of the change in social structure in Japan, with women now no longer facing pressure of getting married at the age of 25 (but instead 35) while still struggling for their sense of identity here in Japan.
The women over 35 are probably the best marriage aged types I've seen. They seem to collectively just say "Fuck it!" and kill any notion of requirements. Even starting a family is somewhat dubious because there's these odd little packets of info floating around that say Japanese women can't have kids over 35 (which I'm calling horseshit science that's unfounded and probably being sent out as political control by the government to retain some semblance of conformity) Some of my friends asked me why I like older women here. The reason is simple: less requirements to worry about. Funny thing too is that I notice a lot of my guy friends have ended up dating or marrying older women here. Coincidence? I think not.
To rectify this problem here in Japan, I think there needs to be a few things done by the government and the families:
- Increase the wage of people in the workforce in Tokyo. For one of the most expensive places in the world, people here earn pathetic incomes, unless you're some old geezer middle management bozo.
- Companies need to help their employees for housing here. One of the things that I admired prior to living in Japan was how some companies would offer dormitories for their employees. Since living here, I've only heard of a few companies that do this. Some companies do provide some pre-tax breaks for housing allowances, but this is not a standard in Japan. The government should provide tax break incentives for companies that participate in giving some sort of housing allowance or dormitory for their employees.
- Do something about the outrageous cost of living in Tokyo. Kill the whole key money issue. The landlords make tons of money and don't need a dime more for what they're getting. Create more affordable housing in central Tokyo. Or encourage/force more businesses to move away from central Tokyo.
- Families should be able to kick their kids out. Yes, I just said that. It's perfectly legal in America to kick your kids out when they reach the age of 18. The great thing is that it forces kids to be very independent. One major reason why I moved out here was to become completely independent from my parents and learn how to survive on my own. As a result, I've learned to appreciate everything my parents have done for me and I no longer take things for granted. I think if kids were kicked out, they wouldn't spend their fortunes on frivolous, materialism and focus on necessities and hopefully make them appreciate other people a lot more rather than just money, looks, etc.
One thing that I wish that this would address is the inequality between those whose families live in different regions of Japan and those whose families live in Tokyo. I have some friends who are from places like Fukuoka, Osaka, Kobe, and Okinawa that struggle living in Tokyo because the cost of living is incredibly high. The main reason why they come out here is that the job market tends to be better with higher paying jobs and sometimes more prestigious positions than in those other areas. However, sometimes these people are forced to live far from their work and live off of simple bento and perhaps even not eating during downturn periods. While I admire those people who truly seek independence and a career, it makes me sick sometimes to think that others barely appreciate what their parents give them.
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