Keith Watanabe * NET 2.0

so many people have been villainizing Chris Benoit, his so-called drug abuse, etc.  today, i'm sitting in my chair, dreading to go to work tomorrow, but yet realizing why people might do these things.  my father was doing stuff too, i'm somewhat ashamed to say.  however, finally i can sympathize with these people. i'm not condoning drugs but i was thinking to myself how one could trick him or herself in entering a different reality.

i drink occasionally to forget what a crappy week i'd have.  and lately i've been having some really crappy weeks.  obviously, i can't simply have a beer when i go to work because my asian-ness would be an automatic giveaway for my stupor.  however, i can imagine doing something that would not outwardly giveaway my intoxicated state and yet still allow me to escape reality for a small period. 

unfortunately, this is not a true solution to the problem.  the problem lies in the work environment and how shitty it is.  the world isn't  pretty so  people turn to alternative realities to paint a better picture, or mentally escape from the ugliness around them.  there's no such thing as a fast forward button on our lives to make a week or day pass by faster.  instead, we have to endure second-by-second each excruciating moment in an unbearable environment just so we can survive.

i kinda feel bad that my father had to go to this level, but i at least somewhat understood why he turned to them.