Keith Watanabe * NET 2.0

i went home to LA this week to take care of some business. more importantly i was able to be with my mom for Mother's Day and take her out for dinner as well as see my father. i didn't realize that i haven't seen my father for over two years. so i forced myself to see him this weekend under all circumstances. i was very relieved to see him. i want to say happy but it's never a joy seeing someone who once had tons of life and love now crippled and helpless in bed. i can't even tell if he can recognize myself or mom anymore. it's so sad that a stroke can cause this much damage to a person that he can be become almost completely non-functional. but still i got to see him and hugged him. i won't ever forget the dream of seeing him piled outside in a little bundle, freezing. i swear i'll never let that ever happen to him. i'd prefer God to strike me down with a nuclear bomb than anything to ever happen again to my family. you hear that God? don't fuck with my family or i'll take you out once we meet! i wanted to stay by my dad's side for a long period. mom must've felt uncomfortable, not knowing what to say. i don't think she's ever going to be mentally the same and partly is living in the past in order to deal with the situation. but she did admit afterwards that she was happy i took her to see dad. i think it's just hard to be able to respond to someone who seems vaguely sentient at this point. right now, i really want to quit my job and go back to LA. i feel awful and wish i could do more for my family directly. on a positive note, i was able to get someone to assess my mom's roof. it turned out to be fairly reasonable (at least from my expectations). i have enough saved up. it's just a matter of consolidating my money, getting the contract in, and picking a date when it can be handled. i want to do it sooner than later. but if all goes well and LA has no more rains for the year, then i'm good and can set this all up around August. i really hope that will help my mom a little bit.