Keith Watanabe * NET 2.0

of course, i mentioned the incident or temporary victory at work. afterwards, i was able to sneak out and hit the train early so i could see my new "Moe" out in Chiba. i got lucky today in catching the express, so what would've been a 50 minute ride out to Kaihinmakuhari was condensed to a nice 20 minute ride. so i got a few extra minutes to spend with "Moe" or my Hermes. we wandered around a bit trying to find a nice restaurant. prior to that i secured some tickets to the Da Vinci Code; turned out that wouldn't be necessary, but more on that later. we ended up at an Italian spot on the other side of the station, opposite of where the theater was located. the food was so-so, with the cream mushroom pasta being the best thing around (note to self: need to take her to a better spot sometime!!!!) it was nice starting out this way; however, i kept tripping up in what to say. i have a bad tendency to not say what i'd like to say during dinner. i truly need a private spot to get my feelings out. however, i said a few complimentary words which were gracefully accepted. despite this, i still have doubt about myself and her position. are we just friends? will some point of fruition come out of this for me? only a few more dates, patience, and perserverance will tell. i think my favorite two lines i gave her was, "Your companionship is invaluable" and "There is no price to be put being with you." I have a million more, but it's all about timing, which tends to go against me. We hit the movie and I felt nervous the entire time. i commented about her ring on her finger which was very gorgeous. i wanted to just take her hand, especially during some of the more shocking scenes to quell her anxieties. yet my own trepidations paralyzed my movement and self-doubt gripped me as if i were a quadraplegic. although i was into the movie, i was more into her and my head spun just by being around her presence. afterwards, i wanted to badly tell her each moment looking into her eyes was like taking a knife and stabbing it into my heart. it was that painful because her beauty would literally suck the breath from me, as if being shot into the vacuum of space. i didn't want to fuck up again, but i am Densha Otoko and I have found my real Hermes. i wanted to find my resolve in all this; today went well and it's rare for such a thing to happen. then when the stars line up like that, you really want to grab hold of something because you don't know how long a moment like that would last before karma and other factors of chaos would invade your life. although i was able to receive a pair of hugs from her, that's not what i truly sought and what i wanted to parlay. destitute of my destiny, i returned hoping not to miss the train and yet hoping that the train would miss me before i could step foot into the station. of course, i made it as i am typing here, but my courage was left once again back in Kaihinmakuhari. I am once again your real Densha Otoko. Please help me find the courage once again to propose to my Hermes.