of trying to help my family out any longer. i think it's impossible to try to change a situation where the people involved in the situation refuse to change. there's only so much one can do before it becomes a waste of time. i've told my mom so many times what to do and what not to do. yet she refuses to listen. i don't want to deal with her anymore. everyone here seems to have alienated me. i want to return to japan so badly because i want to start (mostly) from scratch. many of my friends are there still and i try to maintain contact as much as possible. i feel closer to japan more than ever. tonight i even went to Hakata Ramen (Shisen Gumi) because i needed to be in contact with something japanese. the world of america is no longer a viable place for me to be. i feel too sad to even try anymore here.
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