Keith Watanabe * NET 2.0

my family issues are so grieving that i think i should just move far away and start from scratch. my mom seems so miserable and i want to help, but i'm losing sight of the point in all of this. she won't do anything and lets her problems overwhelm her. again she called into the doctor to receive help, but it's to avoid yet another problem. apparently, part of her issues are because of work. they pretty much are skewing her silly and not helping her out because the owner is Japanese and too cheap to really care. worse yet, she's at the age where she feels she can't move forward. it's true as she wouldn't be able to reach a higher financial status on her skills and potential. and the government won't support her. in some ways it makes me think Japan's old seniority system was far better in terms of creating a stable environment; the only problem is that it didn't allow young lions to really bust out. America's problem is the opposite, except that they still chain the young lions with the older, more manipulative generations calling the shots and keeping us down. going back to my mom, a lot of this is her fault because she is or was unwilling to take responsibility for her actions. letting my father just go without emotional support lead him to his metaphorical demise. however, as my family aren't bad people, should society just convict them and say, "Hey, you fucked up. You deal with the consequences?" from my viewpoint, i feel awful but it gets me dragged into this mess. i go back to the idea behind Fight Club where some vigilante group should just blow up all the banks and credit card companies so we can be reset to zero. realistically though, i feel trapped and horrible. the easiest thing would be to run away and cast my feelings away. use the Ayn Rand model of life. it worked before when i was depressed.