I’m truly ambivalent of being in a relationship and single at different times. Being single is great on the one hand for me because I don’t have any obligations to anyone except myself. I’m so used to being alone that I’ve kinda given up on the thought of getting into a relationship again. I mean, if I suddenly lost my job then it wouldn’t matter as I have no one but myself to feed. And in that sense, I don’t have to worry much because I’m not a huge eater (I was living off one meal a day at one point).
However, at the moment I’ve been in crunch mode. Not my first nor certainly my last. If my work would ask me to do weekends, there’s not a lot of excuses that I can make. Married people though can get out of things with the kid or wife is sick excuse. This situation along with other reasons got me thinking about this post where I wanted to discuss my remaining motivations to get married.
With regards to work, there’s a huge pragmatic aspect to getting married. Naturally, having a family does allow some tax breaks. Of course, I would be sharing that income, but that’s besides the point. At least, on paper, my take home pay does improve somewhat. And as mentioned above, the wife (if I ever get one) can always pull me away from my job and I can grovel to my superior.
Yet there’s another aspect for me that’s important, which is dinner. I tend to eat poorly when I go home. I think if I had a wife, I imagine that she would be responsible for cooking. If not, at least I won’t be the sole person handling the decision making process for food. And anyone who knows me well would realize that I have an impossible time perpetually making a decision on what to eat.
Another thing is that I may or may not have to worry as much about physical fitness. I figure one of two things can happen: 1) the wife will force me to eat better and we hit the gym; 2) the wife will not care and I can forget for the rest of my life to worry about such things. More than likely, the situation will end up being something in the middle. But I think at least the stress in the back of my mind of not going to the gym as often as I need or losing motivation ought to subside somewhat.
Having an activity partner. I got ditched on a Vegas trip recently and ended up squandering one night’s room. I seriously doubt that if I were married this problem would ever occur again. Similarly, I wouldn’t ever have to worry about traveling by myself and can actually go more interesting places. Right now, I rarely leave my home outside of occasionally seeing a friend or two or going to work.
Having someone to talk to at night. I cannot converse with my mom any longer. I get better reactions talking to my sink. And even though I have friends, I can’t confide every little thing with them. Hopefully, if I get married, the wife will be a person who has no problem understanding (and wanting to understand) me. Maybe some of my so-called sanity problems that people perceive about me might dissolve over time.
Having someone to help me out once in a while. At home, I feel like I get almost no help. Although I live with my mom, she does little to nothing in terms of maintaining the house. It’s frustrating because previously we had a large fight about the whole home ownership issue. Yet she felt the house was hers so I decided to let her deal with most of the problems. That said, it’s rough living in such filth. I lose so much motivation when I’m here and just prefer staying in my room whenever I have my private time. I rarely clean up except when things become extreme. I’m not saying I want a completely enslaved wife, but at least someone who can lend a hand once in a while.
For me it’s not just about having sex or a kid for looking like a normal person’s sake. I think the second to last point is one of the most important to me. Finding that type though has been impossible and I feel as though there’s not a lot of hope left for me.